Hehe yeah and I like your entry.

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 . . . a snack for your grandmother on this tray - it's _ medicinal mayonnaise !!

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 . . . cat afterbirth for her miasma tonic !!

A few years ago I caught the end of what seemed like a mini marathon of a black and white show. 
It was about a former private eye / detective and his misadventures with his wife (or fiancé maybe girlfriend?).
Can’t pin down enough details to google it, but the few episodes I saw were pretty fun and funny. Unlike the The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (love that) I haven’t seen it on tv since. 

I imagine that reruns of the show might have aired more often back in the day. 

eat steak

Carolyn:  Why do my fingers smell like a turtle’s bellybutton?

Stokes:  I’ve heard it’s easier to hear with a cup to the door.  Want to try?  I always wear my athletic supporter.

his ability to drink coffee with the back of his hand

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nail polish

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friendship bracelet

his knee length dog skin fur coat, clown shoes from the attic, and his best pajamas