Collins' Library

After watching Josette looking at the" Collins' History," it made me wonder what other titles were on those shelves at Collinwood. Let's help and create a collection for the library at Collinwood. Keep in mind who the users are and
you make the selection!

Well, I'm certain it is a large library and will require many books; so here's a mere sample of books I should enjoy contributing:

Tonight Must Go Nothing Wrong and Other Stories by Anonymous

Is That Really a Head in a Box? by Flora Collins

My Search for the Elusive Peruvian Spitting Llama and Why One Shouldn't Do It by Burke Devlin

Don't Mention the War by Basil Fawlty

The Connoisseur's Guide to Brandy, Cognac, Sherry, and Other Intoxicating Potions, Including (but not limited to) Bloody Marys, Gin & Tonics, Long Island Iced Teas, Manhattans, Martinis, Mint Juleps, Mudsides, Rum & Cokes, Strawberry Daquiris, Whiskey Sours, White Russians, and Vodka Collinses by Bob Issel

Angelique's Indecent! by Para Larker

The Ubiquitous Stylus by William Malloy

In Which Pooh Goes Visiting and Stumbles Upon a Mobile Gravestone (Oh Bother) by A. A. Mayday

The Art of Flinging Cats by Alex Stevens

and finally...

How I Learned to Love Propecia (A True Story) by Dirk Bradford Delaware Tate-Clark

Mark

Here's my ideas for the library, inspired by Mr. Rainey...God Help Us All!!

Basic Anatomy by The Late Dr. Eric Lang MD

You're OK, I Don't Understand by Victoria Winters
(subtitled: Favorite Foundling Stories)

Helping Hands by Victor Fen Gibbon

and.....

Mummie (and Daddy) Dearest by David Collins

Always, Minja

After watching Josette looking at the" Collins' History," it made me wonder what other titles were on those shelves at Collinwood.

On TLM's shelf:

A Do-it-yourself Guide to Car Repair - by Dick Loudon


For Nathan:
Crystal Balls and Tight Trousers - by Ron Nasty [aka Neil Innes]


For Carrie:
Touring Napa Valley - The Great Whine List [self published]

For Judah Z:
Comb-over ...or Shave It All? - by Floyd Lawson [with introduction by Paul Shaffer, forward by Bruce Willis]

--

The Herb Garden by Prof. Stokes [ghost written by [ghost]Ringo]



[was gonna use '101 things to do with a dead cat', but the Stevens work is better, Mark! ]

Knew when I posted I would get some wonderful replies ...especially from Mark, Minja, and Ringo. ;)Thanks for sharing -

There are many more shelves to fill!

The Collins' families library wouldn't be complete without a few Dan (Marilyn) Ross novels gracing its shelves. Midnite, how do you like the Easter Bunnies? No evil bunnies here.

(IMG) ... Midnite, how do you like the Easter Bunnies? No evil bunnies here. (IMG)

Hee hee!!  Absolutely love them, Bob!

Oh dear, I guess this is what we get for letting those 2 bunnies get near each other, huh?

For Nathan:
Crystal Balls and Tight Trousers - by Ron Nasty [aka Neil Innes]

now you are making me blush Ringo thinking of that visual!

jennifer

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

How about this title:

      Cocktail Man - the Unauthorized Biography of Robert Rooney by Ezra Braithewaite

        This book exposes all of the choice morsels of gossip that Mr. Rooney has amassed over the years, as Collinsport's most popular bartender:

         Who is the real father of young David Collins, heir to the Collins fortune?

          Why did Mrs. Stoddard suddenly leave town nearly twenty years ago.  Was it really just to "visit" relatives in New York?

           When Sheriff Paterson flies out to Las Vegas for that annual law police chiefs' convention, who is that lady he registers with at the hotel as "Mrs. Patterson"?  (The real Mrs. Patterson, back home, would certainly like to know.)  Does the sheriff really wear a toupee when he hits the gaming tables?

            Why hasn't Professor T. Elliot Stokes spoken to his sister, Hannah, in over ten years?  Does it have something to do with the professor's questionable disposition of the Stokes family fortune?

              Are the Collinsport docks becoming New England's equivalent of Eighth Avenue and 42nd Street or Wilshire Boulevard on a "busy" Friday night?  And why has Harry Johnson been seen driving around in a souped-up Cadillac, and dressed ostentatiously, like Ron O'Neal in the film "Super Fly"?

These and other sordid matters will be disclosed in Cocktail Man - soon to be made into a major motion picture starring Tom Cruise as the omniscient bartender.  Reserve your copy now!!!

             

               

         

How about a set of "Hooked on Phonics" for Ben...

A copy of "The Secret Garden" for Sarah....

"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainence" for Carolyn and Buzz.....

...and could we PLEASE leave the Reverend Trask both a copy of "The Exorcist" and a clue?!
Raineypark

Of course, when Mr. and Mrs. Roger and Laura Collins were expecting their little bundle of joy, they purchased a copy of Dr. Spock's book on the care and raising of children.  Sadly - as exemplified by the behavioral problems of their son - the only thing the book was used for was to prop up an uneven table leg in the laundry room.

Gerard

They should definitely have a copy of "Witchcraft for Dummies."

They should definitely have a copy of "Witchcraft for Dummies."

Thanks for replying to my post and welcome to the board!

Crystal Balls and Tight Trousers - by Ron Nasty [aka Neil Innes]

This was actually ghost written by Ringo "I think it was the trousers" Collins!

Midnite, how do you like the Easter Bunnies? No evil bunnies here.

Hey! I want bunnies! How do I get bunnies? Tell me please, please, pretty please!

Always, Minja

And I just thought of another...
Harry Potter Ain't Got Nuthin' On Me by Jamison Collins

How about a copy of--

"The Night Has A Thousand Eyes" for Anglique

"Tombstone"  A saga of the Collins family cemetary.

"Tales From The Crypt" or commonly known as "At Home With Barnabas"  The Martha Stewart of Masoleums.