David, the writer of the article you are talking about is a friend of mine. He does not profess to be a writer, or even a good writer. You also take him deadly serious. Yes, he wanted to try publishing a zine about something that mattered to him as a gay man who grew up in a rural part of Texas where hunting and other so-called manly pursuits tested your mettle as a "real man." Consequently, my friend got to know other gay men in his situation when he became involved with the only gay bar/lounge in his area and worked there for many years. He learned to overcome the prejudice he had against himself and be happy for who he is.
My friend also has spent thousands of dollars buying DS stuff, including props from the 1991 DS series. We are talking something like $20,000 so obviously he could not be serious in saying something is wrong with DS fans. He would have been talking about himself with his usual dry humor.
Furthermore, there are many gays who do grow up hating themselves (there are people who grow up hating themselves without being gay too) for who they are. I have a family member who turned to alcohol because of how he felt about himself as a gay man. It was horrible. Fortunately, he has been sober for five years now and very proud of who he is. It's wonderful if you never had to deal with self-hatred or denial but not every gay person skipped over that. Just among people I know I can give you several examples.
But back to the zine - my friend didn't do anymore because he wasn't cut out to be an editor, writer or publisher. He recognized that. He tried something and it didn't work out. His being very bad at answering inquiries alone doomed any future publication.
There are plenty of gay couples who are together for all of their lives. There are plenty who are not. The same is true of straight couples. My friend knew many plain truths about what it's like living as an openly gay man and part of a gay couple in a very rural area.
But know this - he is a great guy, always there for his friends, mentors those who are trying to come out of the closet, and does not post negative things about anybody. He's a very sweet man. He loves to tease and I think you took what he said seriously when he wasn't serious since he himself has spent $20,00 on DS memorabilia in a two year period. That doesn't put him in the driver's seat of criticizing anyone for being obsessive!
I'm unhappy to see him ridiculed for a project he tried out to see if it was something he could do because it would matter to people.
Nancy
I'm sorry, but that essay is a lot of shameful, self hating shit.
Everyone I know is perfectly happy to be gay.
As kids we were in the closet, as is Barnabas, so I can see that aspect of relating to it.
But all that self hating crap is for the birds.
And I know PLENTY of long term gay couples.
SHAME on that writer.
I met him a few times.
He told me that he thought all DS fans had "something
wrong" with them.
Shame on him.