"Well, to tell you the truth, Beth, I did strike out once with the renowned Miss Irene Adler at the Piccadilly Circus in London, much to my great  chagrin."

"Now, Maggie, dearest, it would be incredibly rude of me, if I didn't invite Alexis to spend the night in bed with us, especially considering it's her very first night in the great house of Collinwood!"

I read Craig Hamrick's biography of Louis Edmonds last week, and was shocked to learn that Carol Burnett asked to be briefly written into All My Children in 1983.  She never did anything of the sort for Dark Shadows!  I'm sure she could have done a nice job as Evan Handley's extravagant wife - assuming that Zsa Zsa Gabor didn't beat her out in auditions.  Which brings me to the reason for my post:  whom would we like to have seen playing all these uncast roles?  And shouldn't there have been a series of celebrity cameos for Barnabas's dockside victims?  Not to mention a special guest appearance by Elsie the Cow.

Wow, there are absolutely so many actresses (or actors?) who could have portrayed Barnabas' seemingly-innumerable dockside victims!  How about such current-day, acting "legends" as:

Paris Hilton
Carmen Electra
Janene Garafolo (sp?)
Jennifer Lopez
Demi Moore-Kutcher (?)
Courtney Love
Star Jones
Jenny McCarthy
Jodi Sweetin (from, I believe, "Full House")
Anna Nicole Smith
Yasmeen Bleeth (sp? From the "timeless" and "immortal" crime series, "Nash Bridges")
Joy Behar
Mariah Carey
Katie Couric (a/ka/ "THE Princess of Perkiness!")

As to a current day male actor, who could have portrayed a short-lived D.S. character, how  about, as that clueless, almost completely vacuous pretty-boy-creation of the renowned/magically-talented artist, Mr. Charles Delaware Tate, the equally clueless, vacuous, and, I might add, completely self-absorbed "star" of "classic" Sci-Fi Channel "original" movies, the one-and-only, Mr. Richard Grieco!?!

Bob the Bartender, President of the Sonny Tufts AND Zasu Pitts Fan Clubs! 

An obviously-distressed Jason to himself:

"Begorra, Liz actually refers to THE Vito Corleone as her "Godfather?" 

Dirk "acquaints" Barnabas with the ancient Japanese martial art of Aikido!

"And then there was the strawberry incident, 'Ms.' Judith, where you told me to schlep right-on back to Collinsport, in all that 'caboose-freezing' rain and sleet, just because you wanted 'satisfactory' fruit, you insufferable virago!"

"You know, Burke, it's not just the frequent trips to the little boys' room or even the inability to 'perform,' that's bothering me.  Heck, it's getting to the point, where I can't even  remember to tune into Lawrence Welk on Saturday nights anymore!"

During the P.T. 1970 storyline, I believe that there was a Collins family physician named "Dr. Blum," who was never actually seen.