Hey, gang,
I don't know about you, but I've always enjoyed those television characters who seem to have their noses perpetually up in the air, and, then generally, rather abruptly, are given their just comeuppances.
Anyway, for what it's worth, in descending order, here are t.v.'s top ten greatest snobs:
10 - Chatsworth Osborne, Jr. - Dobie Gillis' extremely affluent and snotty rival (portrayed by actor Steve Franken) for all of the beautiful girls in town on "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis."
9 - Simon Brimmer - The supercilious radio host and sleuth (portrayed by the superb John Hillerman), who is always bested by the unfailingly polite and perspicacious Ellery Queen (portrayed by the greatly underrated Jim Hutton) in the 1970s mystery/comedy show, "Ellery Queen."
8 - Mrs. Margaret Drysdale - The wonderfully snooty, society lady (portrayed by Harriet G. MacGibbon) who is absolutely appalled by the next door presence of new millionaire Jed Clampett and his country kinfolk on "The Beverly Hillbillies."
7 - Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "bouquet") - Great Britain's greatest social climber (portrayed by the remarkable Patricia Routledge); a woman who makes Madame DeFarge look like Mother Teresa in her dealings with and treatment of other people on "Keeping Up Appearances."
6 - Mr and Mrs. Thurston Howell III - arguably the most affluent shipwrecked castaways ever (portrayed by the terrific Jim "Mr. Magoo" Bachus and Red Bank, N.J.'s own Natalie Schaffer); how Thurston and "Lovey" managed to "keep up appearances" so stylishly on that tiny island for so long on "Gilligan's Island" is beyond me.
5 - Audrey fforbes-Hamilton - an upperclass, toffee-nosed British woman (portrayed by the indomitable Penelope Keith), whom Hyacinth Bucket dreams of one day eventually becoming (but never will) on "To the Manor Born." (Ms. Keith was also superb as the ultimate stuck-up British yenta, Margo Leadbetter, on "The Good Neighbors.")
4 - Basil Fawlty - probably the most arrogant, albeit inept, hotel proprietor/manager in television history (portrayed by the always manic John Cleese) on the classic "Fawlty Towers." (Think of Basil Fawlty as a cynical and misanthropic Mr. Wells. I know it's hard to do.)
3 - Jonathan Higgins - the very proper British major domo (also portrayed by the incredibly Texas born John Hillerman) of writer Robin Masters' magnificent estate on the island of Oahu, who seemingly is forever locking horns with the laidback (not to mention extremely sloppy) resident security man/estate guest, Thomas Magnum (portrayed by the terrific Tom Selleck), on "Magnum, P.I."
2 - Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester, III - the quintessential Boston brahim/U.S. Army surgeon (portrayed by the wonderfully hubristic David Ogden Stiers), who considers his fellow screwball Korean War surgeons/officers, "Hawkeye" Pierce and B.J. Hunnicut (portrayed by Alan Alda and Mike Farrell) as common guttersnipes beneath his very contempt.
And, I think you know whom
THE greatest television snob of all time is, the man close to the hearts of "Dark Shadows" fans near and far, the one-and-only:
1 -
Roger Collins !!! - Yes, Collinsport, Maine's own "regular guy" (portrayed by the truly immortal Louis Edmonds), a man who must have been an inspiration and role model to both George Plimpton and the late, great William F. Buckley!
Kathryn Leigh Scott expressed it best when, in her first book, "My Scrapbook Memories of Dark Shadows." she described Roger Collins as "being arch and aristocratic played to delicious perfection by the arch and aristocratic Louis Edmonds." I always enjoyed the brother/sister squabbles between Louis Edmonds and Joan Bennett as (Collinwood matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard). Ms. Scott described those memorable scenes as a "study in icy disdain, no one could quite sneer like Louis Edmonds."
Remember when Roger, after having been out of town for several days, finds out that Carolyn has actually married the despicable Jeb Hawkes, Elizabeth reminds her younger brother that the family had not approved of her own marriage to Paul Stoddard, to which Roger, in his own inimitable and mordant style replies, "And, with disastrous results!" Oh, I loved it!
Perhaps the late Sam Evans, a true regular guy, hit the proverbial nail on the head, when he said to Roger, over a couple of drinks at the Blue Whale:
"Roger, you
ARE a snob!"
So, kudos to the late, great Louis Edmonds, for his absolutely consummate performance as t.v.'s greatest snob.