T.V.'s Top Ten Greatest Snobs of All Time!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey, gang,

I don't know about you, but I've always enjoyed those television characters who seem to have their noses perpetually up in the air, and, then generally, rather abruptly, are given their just comeuppances.

Anyway, for what it's worth, in descending order, here are t.v.'s top ten greatest snobs:

10 - Chatsworth Osborne, Jr. - Dobie Gillis' extremely affluent and snotty rival (portrayed by actor Steve Franken) for all of the beautiful girls in town on "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis."

9 - Simon Brimmer - The supercilious radio host and sleuth (portrayed by the superb John Hillerman), who is always bested by the unfailingly polite and perspicacious Ellery Queen (portrayed by the greatly underrated Jim Hutton) in the 1970s mystery/comedy show, "Ellery Queen."

8 - Mrs. Margaret Drysdale - The wonderfully snooty, society lady (portrayed by Harriet G. MacGibbon) who is absolutely appalled by the next door presence of  new millionaire Jed Clampett and his country kinfolk on "The Beverly Hillbillies."

7 - Hyacinth Bucket  (pronounced "bouquet") - Great Britain's greatest social climber (portrayed by the remarkable Patricia Routledge); a woman who makes Madame DeFarge look like Mother Teresa in her dealings with and treatment of other people on "Keeping Up Appearances."

6 - Mr and Mrs. Thurston Howell III - arguably the most affluent shipwrecked castaways ever (portrayed by the terrific Jim "Mr. Magoo" Bachus and Red Bank, N.J.'s own Natalie Schaffer); how Thurston and "Lovey" managed to "keep up appearances" so stylishly on that tiny island for so long on "Gilligan's Island" is beyond me.

5 - Audrey fforbes-Hamilton - an upperclass, toffee-nosed British woman (portrayed by the indomitable Penelope Keith), whom Hyacinth Bucket dreams of one day eventually becoming (but never will) on "To the Manor Born."  (Ms. Keith was also superb as the ultimate stuck-up British yenta, Margo Leadbetter, on "The Good Neighbors.")

4 - Basil Fawlty - probably the most arrogant, albeit inept, hotel proprietor/manager in television history (portrayed by the always manic John Cleese) on the classic "Fawlty Towers."  (Think of Basil Fawlty as a cynical and misanthropic Mr. Wells.  I know it's hard to do.)

3 - Jonathan Higgins - the very proper British major domo  (also portrayed by the incredibly Texas born John Hillerman) of writer Robin Masters' magnificent estate on the island of Oahu, who seemingly is forever locking horns with the laidback (not to mention extremely sloppy) resident security man/estate guest, Thomas Magnum (portrayed by the terrific Tom Selleck), on "Magnum, P.I."

2 - Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester, III - the quintessential Boston brahim/U.S. Army surgeon  (portrayed by the wonderfully hubristic David Ogden Stiers), who considers his fellow screwball Korean War surgeons/officers, "Hawkeye" Pierce and B.J. Hunnicut (portrayed by Alan Alda and Mike Farrell) as common guttersnipes beneath his very contempt.

And, I think you know whom THE greatest television snob of all time is, the man close to the hearts of "Dark Shadows" fans near and far, the one-and-only:

1 - Roger Collins !!! - Yes, Collinsport, Maine's own "regular guy" (portrayed by the truly immortal Louis Edmonds), a man who must have been an inspiration and role model to both George Plimpton and the late, great William F. Buckley!

Kathryn Leigh Scott expressed it best when, in her first book, "My Scrapbook Memories of Dark Shadows." she described Roger Collins as "being arch and aristocratic played to delicious perfection by the arch and aristocratic Louis Edmonds."   I always enjoyed the brother/sister squabbles between Louis Edmonds and  Joan Bennett as (Collinwood matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard).  Ms. Scott described those memorable scenes as a "study in icy disdain, no one could quite sneer like Louis Edmonds."

Remember when Roger, after having been out of town for several days, finds out that Carolyn has actually married the despicable Jeb Hawkes, Elizabeth reminds her younger brother that the family had not approved of her own marriage to Paul Stoddard, to which Roger, in his own inimitable and mordant style replies, "And, with disastrous results!"  Oh, I loved it! 

Perhaps the late Sam Evans, a true regular guy, hit the proverbial nail on the head, when he said to Roger, over a couple of drinks at the Blue Whale:

"Roger, you ARE a snob!"

So, kudos to the late, great Louis Edmonds, for his absolutely consummate performance as t.v.'s greatest snob.  

[Gothick]

That's a great list, Bob.  I have barely ever seen more than a few minutes here and there of DOBIE GILLIS, but Chatsworth sounds like a fun character.

I always loved seen Mrs. Drysdale do her thing back when I watched Bev Hillbillies.  I loved those funny hats she wore and the white gloves. 

Roger Collins IS the star (next to do the Divine Miss Joan Bennett, of course, as Liz) of the first 9 months of DS.  I'm really looking forward to sitting down with the 1966 episodes again one of these days just to enjoy all of Roger's snide, sneering, vitriolic comments (and, of course, those moments when the facade cracks because of the latest threat from Burke).

G.

[MagnusTrask]

#1 is no surprise, and Fawlty and Winchester were great, but I'm giving special mention to Penelope Keith on "To the Manor Born", because she's such an obscure, underdog choice.   And she looked really good in a green turtleneck....

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Gothick,

Thanks very much: I'm glad you enjoyed the list.   And you're so right about how Joan Bennett and Louis Edmonds were the undisputed stars of "Dark Shadows" during the show's first year.

Even though we don't get to see Barnabas, Willie, Dr. Hoffman, etc., until later during the show's run, it's still great fun to watch Liz, Roger, Caroyln, Vicky, David, Maggie and the rest of the DS characters leading "normal" lives before Mr. B. arrives on the scene (sort of like "Peyton Place a la the aforementioned "Thriller" in your terrific post on the great Boris Karloff t.v. series of the early 1960s).

By the way, there's another great episode during the first year of DS, where Roger takes Vicky Winters to, surprisingly, dinner at the Blue Whale.  Roger and Vicky bump into Maggie and Joe Haskell, out on a date at the popular watering hole.  When Roger, in true snot-nosed fashion, begins to deride Maggie and Joe, by asking them if they are discussing "something important," like the current price of fish on the market, Joe loses his temper and threatens to "disabuse"  (read: punch-out the headlights) of the manager (and younger brother of the great Mrs. Stoddard herself) of the very fishing cannery where Joe works.  (That was real "testicular fortitude" on the part of the young Mr. Haskell, imo!)

Roger always impressed me as being the ultimate, supercilious skeptic, when it came to all of the occult goings-on at Collinwood, until Roger was finally confronted by the malevolent ghost of Quentin Collins, just before the entire Collins family fled it to the relative safety of the Old House.

As to the old Dobie Gillis show, in addition to Dwayne Hickman (as Dobie) and the late, great Bob Denver as beatnik Maynard G. Krebbs, you can also see a very young and comely Tuesday Weld and future leading man Warren Beatty in that comedy series.

Bob

[MagnusTrask]

By the way, there's another great episode during the first year of DS, where Roger takes Vicky Winters to, surprisingly, dinner at the Blue Whale.  Roger and Vicky bump into Maggie and Joe Haskell, out on a date at the popular watering hole.  When Roger, in true snot-nosed fashion, begins to deride Maggie and Joe, by asking them if they are discussing "something important," like the current price of fish on the market, Joe loses his temper and threatens to "disabuse"  (read: punch-out the headlights) of the manager (and younger brother of the great Mrs. Stoddard herself) of the very fishing cannery where Joe works.

Wasn't that when Roger wondered why anyone would be hanging out with Maggie unless they wanted to know the price of hash?   That was Roger at his meanest and best, I think. 1966 was great.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Wasn't that when Roger wondered why anyone would be hanging out with Maggie unless they wanted to know the price of hash?   That was Roger at his meanest and best, I think.

MT,
Yes, it was the price of hash and not fish that Roger referred to as he exchanged "pleasantries" with Maggie and Joe at the Blue Whale.  What a stinker, Mrs. Stoddard's baby brother truly was!!!

Bob

[michael c]

back in the day I posted a magnum opus on roger's "fish vs. hash" insult...


it was something else!

[Ronny G]

What!? No Blair Warner?

But I totally agree with Hyacinth and Mrs. Drysdale being on the list.

I'd also like to give a special shout out to Darrin's ex girlfriend, Sheila Summers (Nancy Kovack). She played the snobby bitch character oh so well. Not a regular, but she came back a few seasons later for a second helping of Samantha's magic.

[MagnusTrask]

I always like seeing Nancy Kovack.  She was in every show in the 60s, and played a type that was totally of the 60s, which doesn't exist anymore.

November 1, and the Halloween emoticons are still here....!