Dear Dr. Eric Lang,
Your point about the young, impecunious vampire, Tom Jennings, is well taken. I've always thought that every vampire is as affluent and naturally stylish as Barnabas, Angelique and, of course, the original one, Count Dracula.
Tom Jennings was a simple handyman in life. It's going to take some time for him to adjust to his somewhat "loftier" position as a creature of the night. Heck, I'm surprised that Tom isn't ambling around the grounds of Collinwood, attired in a flannel shirt and a pair of faded L.L. Bean jeans just like master carpenter Norm Abrams on "This Old House"!
I'm sure you'll agree with me that young Tom made a very good, first choice in victims when he selected Dr. Julia Hoffman. As a psychiatrist with her own clinic, the good doctor is obviously well off financially.
You know, as a new and aspiring vampire, Tom should adopt the motto of the US Air Force and "Aim High!" So, I think that Tom should plant his best "vespertilian hickey"on the fabulously wealthy mistress of Collinwood. (Who, I believe, should be returning home shortly.)
If Mrs. Stoddard could keep that lyrically larcenous Irishman, Jason McGuire, dressed in fine threads, she can certainly keep a fine, young lad like Tom Jennings dressed to the "nines." (Tom Jennings could be Liz's "boy-toy.")
It just won't pay in the long run for Tom to make victims of such impoverished (albeit lovely) ladies as Maggie Evans, Vicky Winters, or Susie the waitress . Then again, nubile Collins heiress, Carolyn Stoddard, would make a perfect third victim after Tom has added both Julia and Liz to his "harem."
By the way, Dr. Lang, I must tell you how much I miss the witty comedic rapport between you and your former associate, Jeff Clark. The show has just not been the same since we have seen the apparent end of your wonderful collaborative schtick.
Now, will that be either Coors or Rolling Rock in your tankard of ale?
Sincerely,
Bob the Bartender, who realizes that in New England, a bartender has to earn his tips!