This would be the 'gentle' 2002 version of a joke I think I first heard in about the 4th grade [1964, a very good year]
---
Two hetrosexual guys are camping in the desert. One goes to 'releeeeve himself' [shall we say...
] over by some rocks, and gets bitten by a poisonous snake in a [shall we say....] very private, sensitive area [shall we say....].
He screams and runs back to tell his buddy what has happened.
The other says 'Don't worry, I have my ever-present cell phone, with no roaming charges, in my back pack, I'll call a doctor'. The call is made, and the doctor explains to the un-bitten camper the urgent procedure for removing the venom: 'First you must put a tourniquet on the appendage, then make small cuts on the site of the snakebite, then you need to suck the poison from the wound.'
The unbitten camper presses 'end' and the wounded pal says, 'well, what did the doctor say?'
The newly educated, unbitten camper responds 'The doctor says .......you're gonna die.'
----
sorry if this was a 'bit' offensive