Hey, Naomi, Do Drop By, But Don’t Drop In!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey, gang,

I’ve been watching the excellent 1797 DS episodes recently, and I was enjoying the episodes where the Countess Natalie DuPre performs a ceremony to summon the good witch, the bodacious Bathia Mapes, to come to Collinwood and lift the vampire curse on Barnabas through the use of “white magic.”

Okay, after Bathia’s initial attempt to cure Barnabas up in the tower room of Collinwood failed much to Joshua Collins’ great distress, Bathia instructed Joshua (after an unfortunate “senior moment” by Ms. Mapes) to take Barnabas and to “take him to the house of the curse.”

So, finally we’re over in the Old House as Bathia is performing the most crucial dangerous part of the exorcism on Barnabas, when, who comes knocking on the Old House front door, but the well-intentioned and extremely ill-timed Naomi Collins, very understandably anxious as to find out what’s going on in her old home.

That simple knock on the door interrupts Bathia at this crucial moment, resulting in the exorcism’s complete failure and Bathia’s truly horrific death as one of the first recorded deaths in the United States of apparent spontaneous combustion, “courtesy” of the vengeful Angelique.

They say the road to Hell is often paved with the best of intentions. Obviously, the kind and gentle Naomi Collins was acting with the best of intentions in attempting to find out if her husband, Joshua, had succeeded in the attempt to return her beloved son to normalcy. However, as attorneys are wont to say, “But for Naomi Collins’s regrettable interference at that crucial moment, Barnabas Collins would have been cured and returned to the ranks of the living.

I got to thinking about other occasions where it would have been better on DS for the characters to also “do drop by, but don’t drop in.”

Five that immediately came to me were when Chris Jennings received five unexpected and most definitely unwanted visits: First, Fiancee Sabrina Stuart’s surprise visit to her intended, Chris, at his out-of-town apartment; next, Collinsport Inn’s overly-inquisitive night clerk Mr. Wells’ fatal visit to Chris’ attic room at the inn; next, the “slightly” concupiscent Donna Friedlander’s equally fatal visit to Chris at Matthew Morgan’s old cottage; next, Maggie Evans’ visit to that same cottage to assuage Amy Jennings’ concern for her big brother (a close one for Maggie); and, finally, Joe Haskell’s tragic visit to his cousin, Chris’s room at the Collinsport Inn.

Can you think of any other times on DS when it would have been much better for the DS characters to just, “do
drop by, but don’t drop in”?

Bob

[Mysterious Benefactor]

Instances that I think might qualify are in 1970PT Ep #1003, first when Old House handyman Wilfred "Fred" Block arrives at Collinwood and flirts with "Alexis" (really Angelique returned from the grave) and she discovers the intense cold she feels begins to be alleviated when Fred holds her, and she fully intends to steal all his warmth, but Quentin interrupts them. But a browbeaten Aunt Hannah is forced to go to the Old House to bring Fred back to her cottage to a waiting "Alexis" and, well, it doesn't end well for Fred that time.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Oh, yes, I remember that episode. And, after Angelique put the “big chill” on old Fred, Angelique ordered Hannah to dispose of the body.

I felt bad for Hannah because Fred was not in either Fred Astaire or Maynard G. Krebbs’ flyweight weight class; Fred was a large and hefty man. Can you imagine poor Hannah, trying to schlep Fred’s big body out to a car and then burying him, like Tony Soprano and Christopher Moltisani did with Ralphie Cifareto’s body?

Incidentally, I remember speaking with the late Paula Lawrence, who portrayed Aunt Hannah Stokes, at one of the NYC DS Festivals. She was a very lovely and cordial lady. Ms. Laurence had an extensive career on the Broadway stage. I also remember seeing Ms. Laurence in the film thriller, “The Eyes of Laura Mars,” with Faye
Dunaway and Tommy Lee Jones.

It’s too bad that Dan Curtis and the DS writers did not bring Ms. Laurence back as Professor Stokes’ free-
spirited and decidedly extroverted sister, Hannah, in “Real Time” Collinsport. It would have been great fun to have seen the lively and ebullient Hannah clashing with her serious and conservative brother, sort of a more congenial version of Mrs. Stoddard and her “somewhat” snooty younger brother, Roger. 

[Mysterious Benefactor]

I also remember seeing Ms. Laurence in the film thriller, “The Eyes of Laura Mars,” with Faye Dunaway and Tommy Lee Jones.

I saw The Eyes of Laura Mars back when it came out in 1978 but I never realized Paula Laurence was in it. But that was before I got to see the 1970PT storyline for a second time and I guess I either didn't remember her or didn't recognize her. Too bad, I bet I would have enjoyed her character in the film more. One of these days I'll have to check out the film again. With so many streaming channels these days, chances are it's available somewhere.

It’s too bad that Dan Curtis and the DS writers did not bring Ms. Laurence back as Professor Stokes’ free-spirited and decidedly extroverted sister, Hannah, in “Real Time” Collinsport. It would have been great fun to have seen the lively and ebullient Hannah clashing with her serious and conservative brother, sort of a more congenial version of Mrs. Stoddard and her “somewhat” snooty younger brother, Roger. 

Yes, that could have been a lot of fun! 

[patrickm]

There's a few that come to mind...

Ezra Braithwaite making a house call and running into Quentin's ghost

Tom Jennings signing on to work for Nicholas

Willie dropping into the mausoleum hidden room

Tim Braithwaite who Gabriel bribed into taking his place in the lottery room

[Bob_the_Bartender]

There's a few that come to mind...

Ezra Braithwaite making a house call and running into Quentin's ghost

Tom Jennings signing on to work for Nicholas

Willie dropping into the mausoleum hidden room

Tim Braithwaite who Gabriel bribed into taking his place in the lottery room

Oh, my God, those are great ones, Patrickm!     

I got to thinking, IF we had seen Hannah Stokes in “Real Time” Collinsport, she could have been like an “Auntie Mame” type on the show.

And, wouldn’t the jittery and perpetually angst-ridden Hallie Stokes have been a heck of a lot better off staying with her fun-loving and devil-may-care Aunt Hannah, rather than staying at old and gloomy (not to mention, evil spirit infested) Collinwood immediately after the tragic death of Hallie’s mother and father in an automobile accident?

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Sorry, I was trying to edit my previous post, but I messed it up. Patrickm’s examples of extremely unfortunate timing on DS had me laughing out loud! 

Yes, talking about when “bad things happen to good people,” both Ezra Braithwaite and Tom Jennings are perfect examples of that.

Ezra had to have been Collinsport’s oldest and most venerated citizen. His family must have run the Braithwaite Jewelry Store in Collinsport dating all the way back to the Revolutionary War. (Maybe John Adams bought his wife, Abigail, an extra special silver-filigreed brooch or pen at the Braithwaite Jewelry Store as a wedding anniversary gift?)

And, I have to admire the fact that Ezra, now in his nineties, was still driving himself around town, even driving
out to Collinwood on his last day on Earth. However, you have to wonder if Sheriff George Patterson was
becoming very concerned about the venerable Mr. Braithwaite still getting behind the wheel of a car at his
advanced age?

I could see Sheriff Paterson stopping by Ezra’s shop and saying to him, “Now, Ezra, I know how you still love to drive, but at age 90, I think it may be too risky for you to continue to drive around town, but, especially up that
steep and winding road on that hill leading up to Collinwood. Remember how Roger Collins, a much younger
man than you, almost bought it, driving on that dangerous road? Maybe you should arrange for one of your
great-grandchildren to drive you around from now on?”

And, local handyman Tom Jennings, who must have been sort of like Goober Pyle on “The Andy Griffith Show,”
was probably another popular fellow in Collinsport.  While Tom’s brother Chris, who was likely the valedictorian
of his graduating class at Collinsport High school, and was studying on a full scholarship to be an
architect at Georgia Tech University, Tom was like George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” remaining in his
hometown and content to toil at his earnest trade.

Whenever someone in Collinsport needed a quick repair job: to fix a hole in their roof, to install a new radiator
or to unplug a clog in the kitchen sink, they’d call good, old Tom Jennings to do the job. Tragically, the unfailingly helpful and good-natured Tom Jennings was just helping out Nicholas Blair, a newcomer to town,
with some much needed repairs in that isolated House-by-the-Sea on the Collinwood estate when Tom made that unfortunate and, ultimately, deadly decision to check out that room in the basement of that eerie house.

Requiem aeternam, Messrs. Braithwaite and Jennings.

[Uncle Roger]

I think we all would have have appreciated it if Hallie Stokes had been sent to live with a Real Time version of Hannah Stokes! Or even a DS version of Joan Crawford. Someone who did not tolerate wire hangers would have been much more of an adversary to He Who Sneers.

I don't remember seeing Paula Lawrence in The Eyes of Laura Mars but I did spot her in the Amy Irving movie Crossing Delancey. It's more of a cameo than anything else. Lawrence enters a restaurant (I think) stands in the entrance, sings Some Enchanted Evening and promptly leaves. She's never seen again. It has no real connection to the rest of the movie. But it's the kind of thing that sometimes happens in New York City.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

I think we all would have have appreciated it if Hallie Stokes had been sent to live with a Real Time version of Hannah Stokes! Or even a DS version of Joan Crawford. Someone who did not tolerate wire hangers would have been much more of an adversary to He Who Sneers.

I don't remember seeing Paula Lawrence in The Eyes of Laura Mars but I did spot her in the Amy Irving movie Crossing Delancey. It's more of a cameo than anything else. Lawrence enters a restaurant (I think) stands in the entrance, sings Some Enchanted Evening and promptly leaves. She's never seen again. It has no real connection to the rest of the movie. But it's the kind of thing that sometimes happens in New York City.

Uncle Roger,

As much as we all “love” Hallie Stokes, placing her with the late Joan Crawford does seem like “cruel and
unusual punishment” for that poor and mixed-up young girl! 

I can’t remember who Paula Laurence played in “The Eyes of Laura Mars,” perhaps she portrayed one of the
other younger characters’ mother or aunt? 

A side note in the filming of that erotic thriller film; they filmed a scene of that movie at an old armory over here in New Jersey, which was used as NYC art gallery, featuring Laura Mars’ (Faye Dunaway) erotic and somewhat kinky fashion photographs. Anyway, a friend of mine, who was a local police officer, was there to provide security for the assembled cast and film crew. While the supporting actors and film crew were very friendly and outgoing with the Garden State “locals,” my friend told me that Ms. Dunaway was a “positive ice Queen” in her limited dealings with the local hoi polloi.   

So, maybe the jittery Hallie Stokes would not have found the coolly beautiful Faye Dunaway(a/k/a “Mommy Dearest”) as a suitable “Big Sister” for her to confide in?    

Bob

[Uncle Roger]

Laura Mars was originally supposed to star Barbra Streisand, who passed on the project after reading the script. She apparently felt that her fans would not want to see her in a vehicle with so much kink and violence. It would have been a very, very different movie if she had accepted the part.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Laura Mars was originally supposed to star Barbra Streisand, who passed on the project after reading the script. She apparently felt that her fans would not want to see her in a vehicle with so much kink and violence. It would have been a very, very different movie if she had accepted the part.

A very young Barbra Streisand would have been great on DS as either Julianka, the beguiling gypsy girl or even better as the lusty and down-to-earth Pansy Faye. Can you imagine the renowned Ms. Streisand belting out “I Want To Dance For You” for Judith, Beth and Barnabas’s “delight”? 

Incidentally, the late Lynn Samuels, WABC-770 AM’s lone liberal radio talk show host, related on her show that designer Donna Karan frequently allowed Barbra Streisand to shop for upscale clothes in her Manhattan warehouse and permitted Ms. Streisand to just pay “cost” for Ms. Karan’s expensive threads. No doubt, Judith Collins-Trask and Sarah Johnson would have greatly approved of Barbra Streisand’s shrewd “frugality.”