Through Sight and Sound and Faceless Terror...

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey, gang,

I venture to say that every Dark Shadows fan, especially those of a “certain” age, can perfectly recite the truly enigmatic words of Angelique’s Dream Curse:

Through sight and sound and faceless terror,

Through endless corridors by trial and error,

Ahead a blazing light does burn,

And one door leads to the point of return.

One question about these stirring words that I’ve thought about over the years, is which DS writer actually wrote those famous words? Was it Sam Hall, Gordon Russell, Ron Sproat or one of the other DS writers? Some of the most memorable lines on DS were written by Gordon Russell, such as Barnabas’ pithy remark, which he uttered in the Blue Whale, “Serenity is my favorite emotion.”   

You know, several lifelong, rabid fans of the Green Bay Packers have made arrangements to have their coffins interiors lined in Packer bay green and cheese gold colors and to be attired in Packer sweatshirts featuring the retired numbers of such Packer greats as Bart Starr, Ray Nitschke and Herb Adderley. Some diehard Packer fans even have the numbers of those Packer greats carved into their gravestones along with the inspirational words of the great Green Bay Packers coach, the legendary Vince Lombardi. (I wonder if our DS cousin, Gerard, being a proud native of The Badger State, regularly wears Packer green and gold to display his undying Packer allegiance?)

Well, I wonder if some equally loyal and fanatical DS fans have made similar pre-arrangements to insure that their coffins with be decorated exactly the same as the coffin Barnabas crammed into during his four years on the show? Will some DS fans make arrangements to be clothed in their coffins, wearing the same Inverness coat Barnabas always wore on the show, even during the warm summer months in Collinsport? (Even the legendary Bela “Dracula” Lugosi arranged to be attired in his famous Dracula cape in his coffin.)

Who knows, maybe some more loyal and dedicated DS fans will even arrange to have some memorable DS quotes, carved into their headstones, such as, “Don’t Go Tomcatting Around Collinsport!” (the unfailingly gracious Mordecai Grimes), “What Do You With  a Drunken Sailor?” (the water-logged ghost of poor and unfortunate Bill Malloy) and “Let the Legions of the Damned Salute You!” (Warlock Nicholas Blair’s Especially Touching Love Paean to Maggie Evans). 

I could go on, but what limits could there possibly be for any lifelong DS fan to express their love and affection for the beloved residents of Collinsport, Maine as they pass over to the other side?

Bob the Bartender, who looks forward to being attired in my coffin, wearing my stylish Bob Rooney Sears-Roebuck Royal Stewart flannel shirt and with a pack of Bob’s trademark El Producto cigars placed in my breast shirt pocket to accompany me throughout eternity. 

[dom]

I am going to be buried in a Barnabang toupee so the DS fans on the other side can find me.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

I am going to be buried in a Barnabang toupee so the DS fans on the other side can find me.

Hey, Dom,

I hope that there’s a Blue Whale (or even an Eagle) for all DS fans to congregate together up there in Heaven for the rest of Eternity.   

As to the “other place” below, I wonder if Nicholas Blair, Judah Zachery and Diabolos hang out at some joint to get a (relatively speaking) “cool” one? Maybe the watering hole down below is called something like “Hell’s Bells,” or  “Beelzebub’s Bar & Grill”? 

[dom]

Oh, heaven, I didn't even think about that.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Oh, heaven, I didn't even think about that.

I’ll bet that when Dameon Edwards arrived at the Pearly Gates (after Angelique finally got rid of the feckless fop) and Saint Peter took one look at that unbelievably ugly-@SS leisure suit of Dameon’s, old Saint Pete must have said something like, “Son, you’ve got to be ‘expletive-deleted’ kidding with that outfit! You look even worse than Herb Tarleck on ‘WKRP in Cincinnati!’”