Fashion notes first . . .
Throughout the run of Dark Shadows, a variety of male characters wore hats. Some of these men were quite attractive, others were not. While some of these wore hats well, I have to say that Constable Jonas Carter was not one of them. This may be why he takes the hat off early and often.
Although it's technically the same day and we saw Elizabeth in the same shoes and the same suit, she is now sporting an entirely different hairdo. I can let this slide. It's not quite like that never-to-be-forgotten time on All My Children when on Tuesday we last saw Brooke English and Derek Frye racing to save Edmund Grey from drowning in the quicksand the evil realtor threw him into, and she had longer, red hair, and on Wednesday, Brooke was still racing to save him, but suddenly had an entirely new hair style and new hair color that had to have taken about four hours in the salon. No, I'm going to imagine that Liz came down in the beehive thingy in Episode #21 or 22, and then off camera, went "I really don't care for this," and now is wearing well, I don't quite know how to describe this. I don't like it though.
This is quite a remarkable episode in many ways, the chief reason being that for once we see Victoria actually working. Or rather, she is trying to. Davy would much rather read something that is entitled Crawler.
Roger gets a call from Constable Jonas Carter. Constable Carter didn't have a lengthy role on DS. He's George Patterson's predecessor, but unlike George, Jonas has more than two brain cells. Jonas looks fairly benign to me, but he's pretty crabby if you get on his bad side. The fact that he's not easily manipulated leads me to wonder whether Liz didn't quietly exercise her influence later on to get them to go for a sheriff and replace him with the mind-bogglingly stupid George. But I am getting ahead of myself. Right now Elizabeth has two concerns: getting Burke put away again and doing damage control with Vicki--not necessarily in that order. Incidentally, Jonas, Liz, and Roger apparently go way back. Jonas also has some vivid memories of what Burke promised to do to the Collinses when he got out of prison.
Upstairs in David's room, Vicki is working. Yes, that's right. She is earning her salary. For once she's in the place where she is supposed to be. Not spending the entire day in town. Not wandering around the house. No, she is actually teaching. Not that Davy is helping. Rather than study the history of Maine, David is much more interested in criminal justice as a subject. Unaware or perhaps opposed to the style of teaching where you try and capitalize on your student's interest, all we get out of Vicki is the tantalizing fact that she once got into a fight with another girl and gave her a nosebleed. Remember this when she starts getting all gushy and glowing about her childhood a couple of years later. Happy orphans, my ass. I can't say that I blame David for his non-interest in state history. I mean, I spent one class period during eighth grade studying the history of New York and I can't say that I recall all that much about it. Do I remember the six (or was it five) Iroquois nations? No. Have I ever been required to know them? No. If someone asked me what they were now? Well, I'm a reference librarian, so I'd look it up and then mark it down as a reference statistic and collect my pay check from the state. I will admit that my knowledge of geography is woefully hazy. I was talking with my colleagues awhile back about how we would get to Lake Placid for some conference and if we could drive. The question then became, where was Lake Placid? My brilliant answer was to the right of Albany (which I'm not sure is true and I can't be bothered to look it up now). Besides, do any of you really care? No, I didn't think so.
Rainey made a comment the other day about soap opera justice and gave the example of Willie, who was denied due process multiple ways, and ended up shot and committed for being no good reason. Well, in the day of Jonas Carter, it would not have happened. Jonas is pretty ticked with Roger. Hell, he gets downright snarky with the man. Why did Roger wait so long to call him? What was Roger thinking going to question Burke? Jonas, you see, wants actual evidence and damn the Collinses.
Apparently the first Christmas tree appeared in Maine in the 1600s (in a French settlement on St. Croix Island). I'm just so impressed Vicki is working. Sorry, I can't let go of it. She's doing what she's supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, for David's education, Elizabeth comes to get her to go talk to the fuzz. Little Davy hears the police are at Collinwood and freaks. Liz isn't having any nonsense. Nonetheless David abandons the French settlement for eavesdropping. Heh. Jonas gets pretty snarky with Vicki too. God, I love this guy. Roger has no idea why they're wasting their time with all this questioning. Break out the leg irons now seems to be his attitude.
David is inadvertently getting quite the education in the social sciences. Jonas defines premeditated murder; discusses the distinction between murder and attempted murder, a fairly lucid determination of what constitutes insanity; and talks about corroborative evidence. He's also a logic man. None of this "he hates me so he must have done it" for Jonas. No, they're going to apply logic to this puzzle if it kills him. Vicki answers truthfully, and then to Roger's disgust volunteers her belief in Burke's innocence. All David knows is that the man in the bad hat is not sold and he better find out what the hell corroborative evidence is real fast.
Jonas, Roger, and Vicki all troop out to the garage to look at the scene of the crime. Elizabeth, who has eyes in the back of her head--I'm serious, she doesn't even turn it--spots David instantly. In a manner that would make Lemony Snicket proud, David gets not just a definition of corroborative evidence, but an example as well. In this case, corroborative evidence means finding Burke's fingerprints on the wrench. Using that logic Jonas loves so much, David realizes that his prints are on their too and that he better get them off fast.
It's times like these that make me seriously conjecture what would have happened to Barnabas and/or Angelique had they shown up in 1966 when half the family had definite and marked sociopathic tendencies. "I did not mean to set fire to my stepmother, Aunt Elizabeth. I'm not lying. Father did it." Or Elizabeth coldly telling Barnabas to take a hike or get some proof he's family fast while siccing Matthew on him with a stake. "Yes, ma'am. I won't let nobody make trouble for you."
Thankfully, we don't have to watch the expedition to the garage. Jonas returns with his witnesses and the handkerchief-wrapped wrench in tow. David manages to knock the thing down, pick it up, and establish a reason for his prints to be on that nasty-old corroborative evidence. Applied knowledge in action.
Actually, David is pretty information literate too. Just look at his entire thought process for this accident. He knew he had an information need. He researched his topic in the appropriate source. He evaluated the information. He applied the information to his need. I just wish this had been in the days of computers and we could have seen him use Boolean logic, search InfoTrac OneFile and EBSCOhost MasterFile Select, find PDF files and hmmm, I wonder if my students would find this an interesting example when I do try and convince them why they need to learn how to use bibliographic databases . . .
Carolyn has hit the shops and making me nostalgic for a past I never knew shows up at the restaurant laden with neatly wrapped boxes. Man, you go into a department store these days and you're lucky if they give you a bag. While she's off calling Joe to tell him she's there, Jonas has found enough evidence to go and look for Burke. He proves resolute in the face of Maggie's subtle and not-so-subtle questioning.
Woohoo! Actual extras on the set!
Maggie displays a distinctly nasty side of her personality throughout this episode. She's a pretty persistent little gossip. Not content with pumping the Constable for information, she's busy telling Carolyn that the Constable is looking for Burke, that her father knows Burke, and that Burke has just hired Sam to paint his portrait. Diva Plaistow look out (if you don't know who that is you need to go read Miss Mapp).
Ah, the first mention of that "container of coffee." Jonas locates Burke and insists they head on up to his suite. Burke wants lunch first and has apparently hurt his fingers because God forbid he should call down from his room and order that way.
Love's Young Dream informs Her Man that she is over Burke. Poor Joe. He's all excited because he figured out that if he and a work buddy pool their savings they can go in together on a boat. Since this means that she's going to have to make a choice about her future, Carolyn is suddenly not so over Burke.
Burke cuts Maggie down and off. Heh. He wants his sandwich and his container of coffee and no questions. I would like to pause here and say that the food ordering on DS pretty much blew chunks. I have quibbles with Sam Hall and Gordon Russell's "it's old so it must be valuable" generic antique line that we hear ad nauseam, but I have to tell you, Art knew zip about food. Doughnuts for breakfast. Hamburgers and coffee (now there's a combo for you). Ham and cheese--butter and mustard, no lettuce. Steak and baked potatoes with sour cream. Yeah, height of glamour, baby. To Joe's consternation, Burke flirts quite openly with Carolyn and gives her a downright speculative look [Burke not Joe].
And now I get to talk about furniture, yay! because Jonas comments on the age of the hotel room furniture. Jonas looks around the room and says that the furniture hasn't changed in twenty years, and I have to say my respect for the man diminishes a little (I'm shallow like that). There are some dubious pieces, yes, but that excuse for a love seat? 1955 or later. The room has a sort of a small town fifties Mod look if there was such a thing. There is also some stuff where Burke explains why he was in the garage and why he couldn't have tried to murder Roger, but it's sort of rambling and weird. I don't think Jonas finds it all that compelling either, because he's more concerned with why Burke came back to town. I have my own theory about the garage, but more on that later.
Chatty Kathy is busy dropping nasty conversational bombs on poor Joe, namely that Burke just summoned Joe's girl to his hotel room, and she went. I'm trying to figure Maggie out. It's not just the connection to her father. She's really mean all over this episode. Not vicious, but not a Magtoria either (¢â€ž¢ Maybellique). It's the way she drops the bomb. Offers coffee, mentions Burke, mentions Carolyn in his hotel room, waits for reaction, smiles, finally mentions that Jonas is up there too. I may have the order wrong, but there's deliberation in everything she says and does with this gossip.
Sadly, nothing salacious is happening up on the top floor (Jonas kind of kills all likelihood of that; he looks like an accountant). Just as Roger used Vicki, Burke is now using Carolyn. Carolyn's answers are much more compelling than Burke's own so Jonas finally takes off, although not without the "don't leave town" remark. Carolyn stays behind, but then we knew she would. Lord, it's like watching a baby teasing a mountain lion. After she leaves, he's on the phone again with Bronson about a meeting in Bangor! The meaning of the exclamation point will be clearer in subsequent columns.
Okay, the garage and Burke being in it. Much of this early plot is ripped straight off of Wuthering Heights more or less. Burke is Heathcliff. Roger is Edgar. Laura is Cathy. Carolyn is Isabelle. The other characters don't necessarily have counterparts, but the essence is all Emily Brontƒ«. If we didn't figure it out from the previous episode with Burke wanting his portrait done "like they would do it" (thank god he didn't say "classy"), we should have been able to figure it out from the comments about wanting a car like Roger's. It's a stupid excuse--honestly, who on earth buys an automobile like that?--but it makes sense for Burke. Roger got Burke's girl. Burke got dumped. Roger got off scot-free. Burke got five years. Well, now he's out and he's got money and he's conflated what Roger did to him with the whole family. I also don't think he's entirely aware of the current relationship of Roger and Liz. All he knows is that "they" did this to him. He's mean to Joe and Maggie and Vicki right now because they've aligned themselves with "them." So he's going to have his portrait in their house while he drives to work in their car so he can make money off of their business, and if that means he's going to use their young, pretty heiress to get it all, so much the better.
