Dr. Eric Lang,
You've made some very insightful observations on: (1) the conversion of the Collinsport Inn into the town hall and Mr. Wells' ultimate "fate," (2) the 1995 price of a pack of cigarettes vis-a-vis 1970, (3) the seeming ageless Blue Whale bartender, and (4) the unremitting "agony" of sitting through a Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck movie!
(1) As to the untimely demise of Mr. Wells, Ill bet that Chris Jennings would say that "Mr. Wells tasted even more dee-licious than a whole bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yummy!"
(2) You're so right here about the high cost of tobacco. (I'm glad that I never "acquired" the taste for cigarettes.) However, what if Dr. Hoffman also got a look at the price of a gallon of gas at the local Amoco station? I tell you, she'd really flip!
(3) The "Dick Clark 'Lookalike' Saloon Keeper." Maybe he's also got an original C. D. Tate portrait of himself hanging somewhere in the back room of the Blue Whale?
(4) Yes, sitting through "Gigli," in its entirety, a fate truly worse than death! But, what if it had been a 1995 Collinsport Cinema film festival, featuring such classic, golden movie hits as "Ishtar," "Shangri La," "Waterworld," and any (and all) films starring Pauly Shore, Jim Belushi or Wesley Snipes? (Heck, I think that Barnabas and Julia, after being subjected to all of that, would have desperately wanted either Stokes or Quentin to chain them BOTH up, inside of that coffin in the secret room of the Collins Mausoleum for the next 170 years!)
Bob the Bartender