Raineypark,
I was watching Federico's Fellini's "La Dolce Vita," featuring Marcello Mastroianni, Anouk Aimee and the unbelievably zaftic Anita Ekberg on AMC the other night, and, wouldn't you know it, those shameless shysters over there on AMC, interrupted this classic flick with the following lousy commercial:
The phone begins to ring in the drawing room of Collinwood. The always urbane and sophisticated Edward Collins picks up the receiver and says in that rich, mellifluous voice of his: "Hello, this is Edward Collins, Collinsport's most eligible bachelor and a living testament to the practice of eugenics, speaking."
The scene shifts to the Collins caretaker's cottage. We see a corpulent and elderly man lying on the floor and stuggling mightily to speak in his enervated and raspy voice: "Hello, Eddie, this is Quentin, I mean...Count Petofi. I've fallen and I can't get up!"
The scene now shifts to the drawing room of the Old House. The learned Judge Cornelius Crathorne, (a/k/a/ House Jameson, by the way, do you think that there is possibly also a "Bungalow" and "Outhouse" Jameson in the Jameson family?), attired in his black judicial robes, stares into the camera and declares with great solemnity: "Ladies and gentleman of the jury, don't let this happen to one of your aged loved ones. Get the First Alert Home Security Monitor and achieve some peace of mind now!"
And, now back to "La Dolce Vita" to be then followed by the witty and drolly amusing "McHale's Navy Joins the Air Force," starring Tim Conway, Joe Flynn, Carl Ballantine and that always uproariously bumptious and boorish oaf, Michael Moore."
Bob the Bartender, faithful reader of Premiere Magazine.
