Originally posted by Ben on February 15, 2002 at 19:20:20:
25. When you are awaiting the arrival of a new addition to your household staff (such as a governess), saunter about the house in full evening formalwear and your finest jewelry.
26. Don't forget to freshen up your mascara before going to bed for the night or retiring to your coffin for the day.
27. Whenever Collinsport is swarming with reports of lone women getting attacked in the woods at night by vampires, werewolves, and who-knows-what-else, BE SURE TO GO FOR A WALK IN THE WOODS ALONE AT NIGHT.
28. If a creepy but courtly man, who looks eerily like the portrait of his "ancestor" who died 175 years ago, appears only at night and never during daylight, think nothing of it.
29. If a creepy but courtly man, who looks eerily like the portrait of his "ancestor" who died 175 years ago, wears a suit and tie at all hours of the night, even if you drop in on him at 4 a.m., think nothing of it.
30. If a creepy but courtly man, who looks eerily like the portrait of his "ancestor" who died 175 years ago, presents you with an antique music box, know that you are the only one he has ever favored with such a one-of-a-kind gift.
31. In our 40-room mansion, there is no need for a doorbell or intercom. No matter where you are in the house, you will magically hear someone lightly tapping at the front door.
A N D . . .
Ben
