Idle Thoughts--Judith, the Big Bad Wolf (Episodes 760-763)

Fashion notes first . . .

From saloon girl to school marm. Now Diana Millay looks like she stepped off the set of Little House on the Prairie and no, this is not an improvement, IMHO. Easter egg yellow is not a color dear to my heart. If Steve is right and the costuming is meant to be indicative of her waning powers, then Jeez Louise, is Laura in trouble.

Another very pretty dress on Nora. Liked that rich red color with the white collar.

Onto the show . . .

"And what better way to hurt me than to take the children from me."

See, Edward, hon, Laura is not interested in hurting you. It's not about you. It never was. But why just limit this to Edward? The "it's all about me" attitude is symptomatic of almost every character in Collinwood.

Edward assumes that Quentin and Laura cuckolded him in order to hurt him. Whereas Quentin has always been looking out for Quentin and Laura has always been looking out for Laura. Period. These three people couldn't be more different and yet, they all have this same attitude: it's all about me.

The other day Angelique made a distinction (or tried to anyway) that she and Barnabas weren't like the rest of the Collins clan. The thing here, is that I think the only thing separating them from most of the "normal" characters is that they have their supernatural powers along with the implicit feeling of superiority to convention and morality that goes with them. But take that away and you've got two people who are a hell of a lot like everybody else on this show.

It might make for an interesting fanfic to see the tables turned--what would the so-called conventional characters be like if they too could zap people into submission and some of the supernatural folk had to make do with normal traits?

Gordon Russell didn't write children particularly well. The dialogue for the kiddies was very much from the "oh, gee, gosh" variety, better suited to five-year-olds.

Bye bye Laura. Can't say I'm going to miss you much

I covet Evan Hanley's settee (you all wanted to know that, right?). It needs to be reupholstered, but I want it. He can keep that pink lamp though. That's pretty craptastic.

The Collinsport universe speeds on ever faster. Instead of the traditional several weeks between full moons, Quentin now has days before he gets to start writhing on the floor and hopefully appearing bare-chested in the morning.

Evan hasn't been too competent in the past, so what in the name of Aleister Crowley makes Quentin think he's the guy to go to for help now? And watching them together. It's like the blind leading the blind.

Heh. Trask gets mistaken for Satan. Now that's subtle.

Jerry Lacy and HAA were in fine form with honorable mention going to Clarice Blackburn.

Once again the name of Judith Collins is invoked. For chrissakes, it's like watching an episode of Leave It to Beaver with Quentin and Evan as Wally and the Beave with Trask as Eddie Haskell threatening to rat them out to Ward.

I expect Rachel and Tim to be dumber than a sack full of hammers, but Evan and Quentin disappoint me. Honestly, what the hell kind of proof does Trask have? Quentin's reputation may be worth as much as Enron stock, but Evan's an established lawyer. Trask's some jumped up minister from a non-established church. And he's going to go to Judith (ooooh, I'm scared. Hold me now). Give me a break. Nothing a little preemptive gossip wouldn't cure. Where's my version of Grandmama when you need her?

Yep, just passing by in the middle of the night, bound and determined to deliver preserves to Judith Collins. Nope, Gruesome Gregory never strays, nope not at all. Oh, dear, I wonder if Gregory followed the example of Gladstone?

And again, if you're not a good boy, I'm going to go to Judith and tell her. It's like Andy Hardy Goes to Hell with Lewis Stone as Judith.

Fresh from graduate school, it occurs to me to wonder how Minerva would have handled the pressures of grade inflation . . .

Tim the Dim never disappoints. No wonder he and Rachel got along so well. Brought down by Latin. So much for knowledge being power. What I think the lesson here is: poor sanitary habits are dangerous.

I know I'm supposed to be into the whole Tim in a spell thing, but what I'm really curious about is who is supposed to be responsible for the Hanley residence's decor. Quentin mentions Evan's wife in an earlier episode. So do you all think it's Evan's taste in evidence or the absent Mrs. Hanley's? Because aside from the ill-upholstered, but otherwise quite handsome settee (that would go great in a foyer/hall), there's really not much in the Hanley home to admire. Those prints above the fireplace with the orange mattes are almost, but not quite worse than that pink monstrosity of a lamp.

Speaking of furniture, how is that the Old House drawing room looks so much better in 1897 than it does in the present? Not that I think it's well done--all that Victorian furniture is so unattractive (it looks like a shabby hotel lobby at the moment), but still the place is pretty darn pulled together, clean and generally stylish for the time. Magda doesn't strike me as anymore a dedicated housekeeper than Willie. What gives?

Okay, Beth, you do whatever you have to, but if you were smart, you'd keep it in your mind that nobody "accidentally" strangles someone. It just doesn't happen. Actually, it's all pretty much downhill from here on for Beth, but she does have a couple of shining moments and this is one of them.

God, it just never ends. More Tim the Dim. Briscoe was very pretty, but this dialogue is going to be the death of me.

Whew. I'm caught up. Finally.

Off to watch last night's episode of Trading Spaces so I can see what chaos Angelique's sister under the skin (I speak here, of course, of Hildi Santo-Thomas) is going to wreak on a Texas schoolteacher's living room.

Luciaphil

Whew. I'm caught up. Finally.

I was about to say, it looks like you've been busy lately--and just as perceptive and incisive as ever.  It's wonderful to see these articles again, Luciaphil!  Keep them coming, please.

ProfStokes

Oh, this was funny.  I mean really....fall on the floor shrieking and gasping funny.  And I'm in a rotten mood to boot!!

Evan Hanley's decor?  Tim the Dim?  I love it.

And YES!!!....YOUR Grandmama would have been a GIFT in the middle of this muddle.  She'd have kicked ass and taken names, which would have moved the pace up a notch (PLEASE let the pace pick up!!!) and we'd all be closer to.....something! anything! resembling catharsis.

rainey

Off to watch last night's episode of Trading Spaces so I can see what chaos Angelique's sister under the skin (I speak here, of course, of Hildi Santo-Thomas) is going to wreak on a Texas schoolteacher's living room.

Oh, this is really TOO much!  Okay, my sides hurt from laughing now.  I'll never look at Trading Spaces the same way again!!!

Hi Luciaphil,
    Is Hildi Santo-Thomas the one who glued moss to someone's walls or the one who wanted to paint someone's fireplace purple but settled for purple harlequin diamonds on the walls?
   I have a favor to ask.  Could you try to mention the color of the outfits?  I can remember most of the ladies outfits if a color is mentioned.  Your critique of the clothes is one of my favorite parts of your column.  Thank-you so much for your splendid column.

Hi Luciaphil,
    Is Hildi Santo-Thomas the one who glued moss to someone's walls or the one who wanted to paint someone's fireplace purple but settled for purple harlequin diamonds on the walls?

Hildi is the one who demolished a vintage arts and crafts mantel and shelves and glued hay to the walls. She's also the one who recently staplegunned 6,000 fabric flowers to somebody's bathroom walls.

Gen's the flake who did the moss on the bedroom wall. Although to be fair, at least she attached the moss to plywood and then attached that to the wall so it was removable.

Dez is the one with the purple harlequin diamond disaster (1st season and she's gone thank god)

   I have a favor to ask.  Could you try to mention the color of the outfits?  I can remember most of the ladies outfits if a color is mentioned.  Your critique of the clothes is one of my favorite parts of your column.  Thank-you so much for your splendid column.

You're welcome and I'll do my best to remember to mention the colors!

Luciaphil

Thank you so much, Luciaphil.  I have not seen the 6000 flowers on the wall episode.  Good Gawd, that must have been a sight.  Did anybody cry in that one?  Dez was just plain crazy!  I am so glad the neighbors prevented her from painting the fireplace purple.  I live in a 1920 house we have been working on for 13 years and I would prefer to weld my fireplace shut than to allow some knuckle head paint my bricks purple.

Okay, Beth, you do whatever you have to, but if you were smart, you'd keep it in your mind that nobody "accidentally" strangles someone. It just doesn't happen.

Is that like being a "little bit dead?"

Is that like being a "little bit dead?"

Or partly pregnant