Author Topic: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT  (Read 4912 times)

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Connie

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Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« on: December 16, 2002, 07:20:32 PM »
Hey y'all,  [wavey]

I'm trying to learn how to do webpages without using AOL's online editor and being stuck with AOL HOMETOWN banners (ugh).  I've started simple and am attempting to post a story I started writing a couple of years ago, and am still writing - Divine Awakening.  It's sort of a different type of story about Quentin, Barnabas and Julia.

I've posted the first four chapters.  If anyone would like to read it, I'd appreciate any type of feedback.  (Like, should I continue posting more chapters - lol).  I haven't figured out how to put a feedback thing or email link on there yet (duh)...so if you have any comments, could you IM me here, or email me at BeamOfLite@aol.com??

Here's the link: http://members.aol.com/superevan/page1.html

(gotta use my son's webspace 'cause mine's just about used up)  lol

Thanks  ;D
-CLC

Disclaimer: (excuses...excuses)
This is my first story, sooo...bear in mind that the writing tends to kind of change, evolve, whatever, over the continuing chapters.  Also, the formatting - shall we say "a bit inconsistent" ??

Offline jennifer

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2002, 07:20:25 AM »
hey connie really enjoyed your story it was fun to read
about those three having fun!
keep up the good work looking foward to more!

jennifer
we are the champions!!!!
 2007 Boston Red Sox
PAV

Offline Gothick

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2002, 07:37:43 PM »
Hey Connie!  I'm just printing out your story to read over my lunch break, but it looks fab!

Please do continue!  If I have any more specific feedback, I guess I'll send you a private message about it.  Love the dialogue, though!  

Steve

Offline Gothick

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2002, 10:23:45 PM »
Well, dear, I just read the first 4 chapters (all that you've made available thus far, you sly minx!) and I'm riveted.

This is a delight ... both exquisitely suspenseful, yet laced with the kind of sophisticated wit that you'd expect this crew to have developed after their experiences of the 1960's and beyond.

I of course particularly enjoy how you portray Julia, but your way of viewing the boys is a treat, too.  Your descriptions of Quentin, his thoughts, the scruffiness of his life, his laundry, etc. are masterful!

What else can I say but ... MORE! MORE! MORE!

Happy Holidays,

Steve

Offline Cassandra Blair

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2002, 11:05:56 PM »
Yes Connie, you should definitely post more chapters!  I'm excited to see where this story will go, and intrigued by what's going on between the characters already.

It's an easy read, it seems to just flow right along.  What you've done in terms of description and characterization helps me to sort of see everything as it's happening. There are so many different paths this story could take - looking forward to the one you choose!

Keep up the good work! [thumb]

Cassandra Blair
My lady abandoned heaven, abandoned earth...to Ray's Wig World she descended.

Offline Midnite

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2002, 12:02:18 AM »
Oh, please do continue it!  And let us know when there's more.  You can't leave us hanging like this, and I love the ease with which you write for the 3 characters.  Brava!

Offline Carol

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2002, 12:12:01 AM »
Anyone who is reading this story is in for a treat. Dear Connie has many more chapters written for your reading pleasure. She is a fantastic writer as you will see.
I haven't read the beginning of Divine Awakening in a long time but, let me tell you, it only GETS BETTER!!!
The friendship between Barnabas, Julia and Quentin will take many twists and turns.
Fasten your seat belts, it'll be a bumpy ride as Betty Davis said in All About Eve.
carolinamooon

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream" - Edgar Allan Poe

Offline Mark Rainey

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2002, 01:37:48 AM »
I expect to see a montage, fully illustrating this piece, when you're done. The imagery in the story is already staggering; enhanced by your usual visuals, I can foresee death by laughter.

--Mark[/glow]

Offline Minja

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2002, 06:02:17 AM »

Well now you've gone and done it!  Your chapters so far are very good and now we're not going to give you any peace until you write more!!!!  You are a gal of many talents m'dear!
[/color]
[shadow=purple,left,300]
Always, Minja ;)
[/color][/shadow]
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
-From the song "For Good" from "Wicked"

Offline The Ghost of Sarah Collins

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2002, 07:47:17 AM »
A very interesting story.... I would like to read the following chapters to see how this story turns out...

Thank you for sharing :)
The Ghost of Sarah Collins (1784-1795)
Sister to Barnabas...@}{~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"That evil is wicked is well understood,
the wicked are punished so you must be good"
(Sarah to Barnabas)

Connie

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2002, 03:13:07 PM »
Oh goody!  I'm glad y'all like reading it and want more.  I've posted the next two chapters.  I'll be able to post them faster as soon as I get the hang of it.  (Still having some formatting problems to sort out).

Thanks for the nice comments!

Next chapters:
 
http://members.aol.com/superevan/page5.html

http://members.aol.com/superevan/page6.html              
                                     
Links to all chapters also on first page (page1.html)

:)
CLC

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2002, 06:31:23 PM »
Just printed out the two new chapters and can't wait to read them!  Something to look forward to for my lunch break.  Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale.  

Gothick

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2002, 09:53:55 PM »
Just have to report that the two new chapters continue the delightful zest of this wonderfully refreshing tale.  

I have to say I love Barnabas in Galloping Gourmet mode.  Fettucine Alfredo?  Pancakes, no doubt with fresh sliced fruit?  What's next?  Canapes and stuffed olives?  I'd love to see a scene where a harried Barn on a short fuse is working on party hors d'oeuvres and supervising Willie who's having a hideous time with an olive-pitter.  Oh Lordee.

Steve

Offline TERRY308

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2002, 02:40:00 AM »
Connie, I have been reading "Divine Awakening" for about a year.  And yes...it' s a great story.  Please..continue.
Cassandra:  I have a potion.  You know it well.  As soon as she drinks it, within an hour, she will go to sleep and have the dream.
Nicholas:  I am much to talented to spend my time drugging drinks.

Connie

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Re: Asking Your Indulgence - Semi OT
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2002, 01:29:38 PM »
Okay...I've posted up through Chapter 9.

;D
-CLC

Note:  Nothing much is held back in this story.  The characters' thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions are pretty much laid out on the table.  I know there are some young people on here for whom parts of the story may not be appropriate.  If descriptions of physical intimacy between two men bother you in any way, skip the second half of Chapter 8.  :)