Political Differences Among DS Fans

[David]

I have nearly 300 Facebook friends. Half of them are fellow DS fans.

I'm openly gay, super liberal, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, anti-tea party, half Israeli and very open about that too.
So how do I react when I see fellow DS fans who worship uber-homophobes like Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin, or who are pro-life and anti-marriage equality?

I'm doing a good deal of soul searching about this right now, as I see some of these fans postings jokes about killing Obama, or speaking out against choice & gay marriage. I have 8 DS friends who Liked Glenn Beck's Facebook page, four who Liked Palin's.
Some of these same people are also uber-supportive of Israel, where I once lived and hope to live again some day, which makes things even more confusing to deal with.

These people are always super polite and never post these things on my page.
I've thought of deleting them, but I don't want to be rude or too judgmental.

When it comes to DS fandom, do we leave our politics at the door and embrace people whose core beliefs are offensive to our own, and who might not support our personal liberties?

I'm really in a sort of mini-crisis about this, because I don't want to be rude to anyone who's not been rude to me.

[Gothick]

David:  I am afraid the reality is that a shared love of Dark Shadows does not necessarily signal somebody who will become a close friend, or even necessarily a casual acquaintance.  I've met people who told me they were huge fans of DS and often as not nothing came of the meeting.  In some cases, the people just seemed "off" to me in a way that usually makes me less than keen for further contact.  I don't feel the need to go on and on about this.  Every fandom has its share of "God's special children" (to coin a phrase).

I have found that some fans do become friends in a way that is very natural.  A conversation that begins about the artistic genius of Grayson Hall may branch out into other areas of shared interest, and if you keep seeing the individual over the weekend, by the time you're saying goodbye, a friendship is born.

I personally don't think "Friending" someone on F-book is all that significant.  Just my personal take on that site.  I think though if someone expresses views that offend you, you are perfectly within your rights to unfriend them.  In most of the cases there probably wasn't a genuine basis for true friendship in any case.

Just how I see things--your mileage may vary.  Good luck.

G.

[Gerard]

I'm an absolute monarchist who's trying to have myself crowned the All-Powerful Royal Grand Potentate Emperor.  Other than once being elected a back-up student council member my first year in college, I haven't gotten very far yet.  But even if DS fans aren't in full support of my Imperial goal and rule, I still love sharing DS with them.  When it happens, my first royal edict would be to make everyone love DS as much as we do.

Gerard

[loril54]

Here is my thoughts. You have to respect the beliefs of others. Some of the people that don't agree politicaly have been some of the best of friends. It all depends on peoples actions.

Look at the times that people have worked together to get things done. When there is an emergency usually will work together to get things done.  When someone has an emergency, most people don't assk them on what they believe.

I have always operated on, don't do something to somebody that you wouldn't want to happen to you.

[The Doctor and K9]

Unless someone is supporting violence against a particular group, I leave politics at the door when I'm into fannish things. I don't even want to discuss it. I say let's agree to disagree and watch DS or whatever. My wife and I don't even agree on many of the topics that were mentioned.  Her views on illegal immigrants are much more negative than mine. Emphasize the word ILLEGAL. She has no racial prejudices against people who come to this country via the prescribed way, through customs. I'm on the fence about gay marriage; she opposes it. I'm anti-death penalty, she's pro.  I voted, reluctantly, for Obama; she didn't.  I love DS, and she thinks it's boring. The relationship still works.

[Teresa]

Hi David,

I have friends on my Facebook, fellow Dark Shadows friends, family, work and childhood friends and it seems many have opposing views from me.  I consider myself very Liberal for the most part and try to keep my Facebook to people I have either something in common with as far as an interest ( Like Dark Shadows, Music, Movies etc) or just keeping up with cousins.  Thankfully, my friends with different views respect mine and I theirs as well.  If anyone is being antagonistic toward you and your beliefs or posting violence or hate then just remove them from your friends list.  If their beliefs just hurt your feelings then it might be a good opportunity to reach out and privately speak to them if they seem worth the friendship.  I have found most Dark Shadows fans to be kindhearted and tolerant.  Remember it's not the quantity of friends you have but the quality. Delete away!

[Gerard]

Doctor, I'm shocked!  You haven't divorced your wife?!?!  She finds DS boring?  My goodness, if that doesn't constitute grounds, I don't know what does! 

Gerard

[Brandon Collins]

I agree with the others in so much as that politics and fandom don't ever go hand in hand. Fandoms are so widespread and varied that you're going to have all kinds of crazies involved (aren't we all crazy anyway?!) and there will most definitely be a number of people that you totally and utterly disagree with on everything else but your love of Dark Shadows.

While I agree with pretty much everything you posted, that does not mean everyone will. I also agree that if someone you are friends with on Facebook is posting things that will appear on your Wall that you hate or really and truly disturb you, just delete them. Why bother yourself over agonizing whether it's rude? At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you are surrounding yourself with positive energy or whatever you need to get through.

One thing that I completely do not understand about all of my friends--those I've met through Dark Shadows and those I'm friends with on a daily basis--is why everyone tends to shy away from talking about politics when that's one of the things we SHOULD always be talking about. I have several friends that I love to death but when we talk about politics I find myself thinking "I can't believe they're such a moron or that they're so ignorant about this, that, or the other thing." At the end of the day I'm still friends with this person because I appreciate intelligent conversation, even if our view points are completely different.

All in all, you have to decide what works for you and what doesn't. If people are ticking you off, check them OFF your friends list.

[David]

thanks, everyone. I've been monitoring the replies and thinking deeply.

Gerard: ROFL!!!!! Good one!

[MagnusTrask]

A good policy might be to allow anyone a certain substantial period as a FB friend, and if she/he doesn't put his/her foot in her/his mouth politically in that time... allow more time.   And I don't mean just liking Sarah Palin or being a fundamentalist.   Occasionally I find someone who has these inexplicable (to me) characteristics, and I turn out to get along better with them than I do with a hundred who supposedly agree with me politically.   I'd say wait for specific distasteful ideas to crop up.   Then address them, don't, or just drop the FB friendship...

Then again, I don't "friend" people on the basis of their being DS fans, anymore.   If they like DS but have other interests too, and aren't FB gamne players, and don't use too many exclamation points, then I might.   Above all else, I head off conflicts, because I'm no longer in any state to withstand any.  I'm getting good at it, I think.   I create havens for myself on the Internet where arguments don't get out of hand.

[Nancy]

Which raises something I wondered about - how many FB people here friend someone merely because they are a fan of a TV show? DS or anything else?  

I do not friend people just because they like DS or any other show/program.  I will friend someone for networking purposes even if I don't know them well.  Come to think of it - I think most of my FB friends are made up of folks I've known/met outside of fandom.  Whether or not they like DS hasn't ever come up that I recall.

As far as differing political viewpoints - I have friends who are more conservative and liberal than I am.  The basis for most of my friendships is a mutual respect for differences we hold and not seeking to hurt other groups of people simply because we don't like them or think they are inferior.  I will not have anyone in my life (or on FB) who actively seeks to hurt others because of some false sense of superiority.  I have defriended people for that.

Nancy

Then again, I don't "friend" people on the basis of their being DS fans, anymore.   If they like DS but have other interests too, and aren't FB gamne players, and don't use too many exclamation points, then I might.   Above all else, I head off conflicts, because I'm no longer in any state to withstand any.  I'm getting good at it, I think.   I create havens for myself on the Internet where arguments don't get out of hand.

[MagnusTrask]

I get a sense of there being a great mass of DS-only fans, or DS-mostly, and that they expect friending reciprocations from any and all fans.   Despite being starved for online friends, contact, and good will, I friended them at first, then they all went off and played games and wouldn't talk!  Many collect FB friends, and have thousands.   I'm a drop in their social ocean.   Me, the more friends I have who don't speak or know me (or vice versa), the more alone I feel.   I'm going through that sort of phase right now.   Friend-collectors won't notice if you drop them, that's one consolation.

[The Doctor and K9]

After rereading David's post, I think I would seriously consider "unfriending" anyone who supported even in jest, the assassination of the President, any president.

[Brian]

I have a few "friends" on Facebook that I have never met, but with whom I share certain "passions" (e.g., "Dark Shadows"), and there are also friends with different political backgrounds.  I try to be respectful of those friends (that I know in real life) who are fans of Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, etc.  But if anyone were to post anti-gay comments, I would unfriend them immediately  (since I am gay and very liberal and oppose bigotry).  BTW, David, I am proud to count you as a Facebook friend!  Brian

[David]

Thanks Brian, Magnus & everyone.
I just unfriended & blocked two DS fans who Liked a FB page calling for Obama's death.
That page also makes snarky references to the deaths of Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, & Michael Jackson.

The Doctor is correct: calling for the death of any President is too much. A shared love of DS is not enough to get me to put up with such thinking.
And making fun about people who died tragically at younger ages? Nope, not even DS, which has had a profound effect on my life, will get me to be OK with that.