Episode #1231

[It's up to the first poster to come up with a set up, and then each following post will either complete it or fill in the blank(s). And, as always, whoever posts the set up is certainly allowed to post their own completion/fill in as a follow up.]

Setup:

Constance: You're a failure as a wife, Amanda.  Brutus's first wife gave him children, his second wife had a huge dowry, and his third wife had a huge – well, we won't go into that – but you, Amanda - you don't even...

...prepare a puréed pickled purple pepper poultice when he is prostrated by one of his paralyzingly painful partial pleurosis of the pooper paroxysms!

  
But shameful of her!! 

Constance: You're a failure as a wife, Amanda.  Brutus's first wife gave him children, his second wife had a huge dowry, and his third wife had a huge – well, we won't go into that – but you, Amanda - you don't even know the first thing about preparing Barnacle Larvae Surprise with a succulent Sardine Sauce!!

Qualify as a bowling trophy wife.