Dancing with the Dark Shadows Stars!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey gang,

I'll bet that you're all as big a fan of "Dancing with the Stars" as I am.   I can't begin to describe to you what a tremendous vicarious thrill I get, watching these noted celebrities distinguish themselves on the dance floor for all of America to see and marvel at.

And, isn't Tom Bargeron (sp?) absolutely suave and self-assured (if not incredibly oleaginous) as the "Dancing with the Stars'' host?

I got to thinking what if Collinsport held its own "Dancing with the Stars" event?  Wouldn't the smooth and unfailingly unctuous Nicholas Blair be the perfect master of ceremonies for Collinsport's own local dance contest?

And, for the panel of renowned and knowledgeable dance judges, how about these eminent and learned Collinsport jurists to judge the contestants: Crathorne, Matigan and Wiley?  (I think those are  their correct last names.)

As to possible competing couples at the event, I've come up with these dance team contestants:

1. Quentin Collins and his "beloved" wife, Jenny Racosi-Collins - Wouldn't it be something to see Quentin and Jenny, dancing cheek-to-cheek, and gracefully pirouetting across the dance floor,  with Quentin trying to strangle Jenny, and Jenny, returning the "favor," by trying to plunge a knife into her handsome hubby's back?

2. Count Petofi and Aristede -  Okay, I realize that May/December relationships rarely work out (except for possibly Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher).  Nevertheless, it would be fascinating to see the reserved and worldly-wise count dancing the tango with the younger and, decidedly, foppish Beau Brummell; think of La Cage Aux Folles, a la Collinsport, Maine!

3.Magda and Sandor Racosi - In stark contrast to the elegant and refined dance performances of both the Collinses and of the European count and the narcissistic dandy, we would be thrilled to see the Racosi's, engaged in a wild, uninhibited, and almost bacchanalian, gypsy dance.

Magda and Sandor would, no doubt, elicit approving oohs-and-ahhs from the enthusiastic audience as they swirled breathlessly around the dance floor, and tried to simultaneously pick each other's pockets to everyone's delight!

4. Bathia Mapes and Ezra Braithwaite - Yes, in a nod to "Dancing with the Stars'" own ageless, senior citizen contestants, actress Cloris Leachman and astronaut Buzz Aldrin, we would see Collinsport's own version of the "Young-At-Heart" contingent, wow everyone as they segued seamlessly from the fox-trot to the funky chicken.  As the eternally-youthful Bathia and Ezra are wont to say: "Age is a state of mind!"

As to whom might be Barnabas Collins' dance partner, I'll leave it to you.  (There certainly are enough comely Collinsport women who could Mr. B.'s fellow contestant.)

Can you think of any other possible Collinsport "Dancing with the Stars" dance teams?

Bob the Bartender, President of the Denny Terrio "Dance Fever" Fan Club

PS Happy New Year!

[Mysterious Benefactor]

Welcome back, BtB! The things your mind can come up with are too hysterically funny.    

[Miss_Winthrop]

I have to say that I haven't gotten into DWTS for the last two seasons.  I think the last name of the host is spelled Bergeron.  The man is funny for sure.  His little under his breath comments were really funny and one of the reasons I liked the show.  It would be exciting to see Angelique and Barnabas.  He so staid and worldly and her so hot for his form...I can dream can't I.  Carolyn and Burke would make a great couple too.

[Lydia]

I would take Jenny away from Quentin and have her dance with Jeff Clark.  How long would it take for Jeff's fingers to become inextricably entangled in Jenny's hair?

[Mysterious Benefactor]

   And that would keep Jeff out of commission for who knows how long! Perfect! 

[joe integlia]

the obvious choice would be quentin and pansy faye since they already danced on an episode that inspired the recording "I WANNA DANCE WITH YOU"

[David]

I'd love to see Abigail Collins & Rev Trask shaking their booties to Hey, Big Spender!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

How about Carolyn Stoddard and  Buzz Hackett, who actually once danced on the show, if I haven't completely experienced a "senior citizen" moment?

Carolyn and Buzz looked a lot like Annette Funnicello and Frankie Avalon (or maybe even Don Rickles and Peter Lupus), dancing in "Muscle Beach Party," imo.

[Mysterious Benefactor]

Carolyn Stoddard and  Buzz Hackett, who actually once danced on the show, if I haven't completely experienced a "senior citizen" moment?

You're not experiencing a "senior moment" - they definitely danced on the show. In fact, last month forum cousin Sara Monster had an animated GIF of them dancing in her SIG. It was a hoot and a half!