Fashion notes first . . .
Holy mascara and false eyelashes! Someone sure owned stock in Maybelline. Liked Carolyn's pastel print peignor. Nancy Barrett looked very pretty in that.
Oh no. The green sweater. I have this theory about Adam's green sweater. I think it's like when Spiderman went to the moon or whatever and came back with his "new look" (the black and white costume instead of the trademark red and blue) and it like turned out to be this alien life form named Venom and Spidey turned into this vicious wacko until he escaped the costume. Any takers? Because all I can say is that Adam turns way meaner every time he dons that primary green horror.
Egad, Carolyn's dress brought to you by the color orange!
I don't often discuss the "conventional attire" of Barnabas, but I did like his dark pinstripe suit. The tie needs changing though--as is, he looks like he's ready to start work as a funeral director--but with a nice red or burgundy tie, it would have totally sent the outfit over the top.
What an outfit for poor Maggie to be kidnapped in. Bit little-girlish, but then they're writing Maggie like she's 14, so I guess that works, lol.
Onto the show . . .
Every time I think Angelique has hit her peak of self-absorption, she surprises me yet again.
"He still talks about Maggie now and then. I don't like that."
Can we say narcissist? I knew we could.
Still some very fun verbal sparring between LP and HAA. I will never be Lara Parker's biggest fan, but she really does shine when she works with Astredo.
You know, listening to Nicholas and his plans for starting the master race there, I am reminded of a conversation that took place on one of the listservs a year or so ago. IIRC, someone with a medical background gave a very convincing argument that Adam would have to be sterile. Sooooo, all this sound and fury might actually really signify nothing.
While we're on the topic of Adam, can I just say that Robert Rodan really did a decent job with an impossible part? Because he does.
Kind of funny when Nicholas lectures Adam. He really could have been talking to Angelique. Oh, and btw, that scrying mirror is pretty darn amazing. Not only does it show you what's happening elsewhere, it zooms in, out, and pans around the room. Call Hollywood.
And on the subject of cinematic genius. There is a time to use innovative camera angles and a time to stick to the time-honored master and two shots. Seeing Jeff staring off into space while Angelique's reflection alone is visible above was weird without being cool. Know when to play Hitchcock and know when to be Woody Van Dyke.
OMG. The body is finished and now they're just starting to worry about decay??? Hello, like none of these people have ever let vegetables go too long in the crisper drawer, because I would think it would be a moot point about discovering new life right now--there are probably huge microcosms of bacteria and molds all over that body.
"Adam doesn't care" because no one has ever bothered to sit him down and explain things to him.
Carolyn's room has always been unattractive, but the addition of those nasty colored yellow sheets and green blanet just clash horribly with the junk she's already got there.
This stupid plot. They vacillate between:
1. We must have a doctor to do the Experiment; Julia must help; Eric Lang was a genius.
2. The DIY/Body in a kit concept by way of the Roycrofters. You too can create your very own Frankenstein monster! Just add water and stir and voila! Instant arts and crafts body.
Jeff staring at Angelique in horror and intoning, "You're not human!" Um, Jeff, hon. We know that you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but when she sunk her fangs into your jugular, started drinking and exercised mind control over you, didn't it just occur to you, just maybe that she wasn't exactly normal?
A large section of the following is my MST3King the words and wisdom of Mr. Barnabas Collins.
Barnabas saying to Julia, "Julia, you're such a romantic!" Okay, I don't know about you all, but I stopped the tape and rewound to make sure I heard that correctly. Somebody needs to take a looooonng, hard look in the mirror and repeat that sentence to himself several times.
Who's the lucky gal? Who will Barnabas choose? Who is going to have to console herself with a lifetime supply of "Rice-a-roni: the San Francisco Treat?" Barnabas has "considered every woman he knows." Well, that's a might long list. Let's scratch our heads and recreate that list for ourselves, shall we?
Julia Hoffman
Carolyn Stoddard
Maggie Evans
Victoria Winters
Sarah Johnson
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard.
Wow! 6 whole people! Gosh, what a lot of effort Barnabas has put into this thought process. Sorry, but I think I probably give closer consideration to the shoes I'm going to wear every day than he has to the life force "volunteer" dilemma.
Sure, let's pick Maggie. You've already f*cked up her life in every conceivable way. What's killing her in relation to that?
"This is no child's game."
Well, yeah, actually it is. Adam and Barnabas combined have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old. And it is very much a game. If any of these losers would just sit down and think for ten solid minutes. . . we would have no story (sigh).
However, I just have to say that Willie, the guy who probably never even graduated high school is hitting on a mess of different and very pertinent points and coming off as the smartest guy in town.
As for why Barnabas selects Maggie? Let's all be honest. We all know it has nothing to do with their ability to control her. Barnabas controlled Carolyn just fine. Better and more effectively than he controlled Maggie. It's because Maggie had the bad taste not to want to play Barbi/Josette with him for the rest of her life.
"Do you think I want to involve anyone in this?"
Hell yes, he does. Why is Willie there? Willie didn't want to be involved in any it. Barnabas insisted. He has gone out of his way to include people who should have been left the hell alone.
And then we have the "Barnabas: Portrait of a Serial Killer" scene. There are Maggie and Vicki doing a well-done bit of girl talk/crying in their beer and here comes Barnabas. So polite. So considerate. So "If there's anything I can do to help" And all along he's planning to zap her, subject her to something against her will that he damn well knows could kill her (or he wouldn't be freaking out so much at the thought of using Carolyn or Vicki or even Julia). It's cold-blooded and it's repulsive and if there's anyone out there who still can't fathom why I detest the Barnabas character, well, I suggest that you go watch this scene and consider the context.
God, but Willie is a sweetie. Too bad he didn't just throw her over his shoulder and take her the hell away from Collinsport.
"Where else could we find someone?"
Hello? From the guy who's only killed more prostitutes than Jack the Ripper? Who has someone on staff who could probably drive to Bangor's bus station and pick up a junkie who would be thrilled to do the experiment for a couple of bucks--perfectly aware of what she was getting into.
Liked Willie freaking out--although how Karlen and KLS got through that dialogue without bursting into laughter is beyond me and much to their credit.
Does anyone here watch Trading Spaces? Just asking because as Barnabas and Julia walked into the incredibly drab and dingy foyer of the Old House, it suddenly occurred to me to wonder what Laurie or Vern or even Frank could do with that space. Hell, even Hilde couldn't make it look worse than it already does (well, maybe she could--saw the infamous hay wall episode again). But I digress.
"Julia, you're using common sense again. When did common sense or logic ever mean anything to Adam?"
Well, they have. When Julia was "sick" from her encounter with Tom, Adam listened and gave them extra time. See, you have to try and actually use logic and common sense for them to work. But what am I saying? Barnabas is as our friend Jase once termed him, "the demon king of Logic."
Now I know that I suggested that Barnabas pack heat to dispatch Adam, but I was thinking more along the lines of say, a 45 than a rifle. Because isn't a rifle or shotgun more of a distance weapon? And definitely not for indoors, because I'm thinking that if Barnabas had been able to shoot Adam, he'd probably have taken out part of his wall as well.
Carolyn has evidently learned all about denial at her mama's knee. Maybe this is genetic?
Yep, if there were any doubts about the motives of Barnabas for picking Maggie, they flew out the door with his concerns about using Carolyn.
Maggie's returning memories--very powerful stuff. As was Nicholas' spell with Carolyn (which was also quasi-erotic).
Ah yes, how to treat an invalid. Bring her downstairs when she can barely walk, ask her two questions, then bring her back upstairs. Nice going Roger!
Carolyn: "I owe it to him. He saved my life."
Sure he did, only after endangering it in the first place.
Call the logic police, call them now.
Luciaphil
