Episode #0890

[It's up to the first poster to come up with a set up, and then each following post will either complete it or fill in the blank(s). And, as always, whoever posts the set up is certainly allowed to post their own completion/fill in as a follow up.]

Setup:

After a thorough examination of the staircase, Julia gave it her professional medical diagnosis: ________

...Acute Dilapidation.

... Repressed Hysteria.

... Hysterical Pregnancy.