550 - Carolyn, hair disheveled, comes downstairs and closes the drawing room doors. She phones Professor Stokes and tells him she must see him immediately. Adam is all right--in a way--she says hesitantly--he hasn't escaped, but it's something she can't deal with. She asks him to drive up to Collinwood and help her--Adam can't stay here any longer, she sobs.
She says she's unable to tell him more, but she does say she won't be in Adam's room, she can't go in there alone, ever. He asks if she's given to melodrama, then says he'll make that decision later. She thanks him and hangs up. "Adam," she whispers to herself, "I don't know what to do." Adam, in his room, inspired by what Nicholas told him, whispers to himself, "Carolyn, you will love me."
Stokes is sitting in the drawing room, drinking a sherry when Vicki enters. He tells her he asked to see Carolyn several minutes ago. Vicki is glad to see him--she wanted to see him and needs his help. Both have a familiar ring to him, he says dryly--I'll have to suffer through what you have to say.
No, you won't, she responds curtly, and starts to leave. He stops her and remarks that she'd make a poor spy if she let an old man's crustiness ruin her mission. Cassandra has left Roger, reveals Vicki. Stokes offers his congrats. She left a note, explains Vicki. She always knows how to confuse everyone, remarks Stokes. Vicki describes how the portrait became distorted so badly, the image disappeared from the canvas. Another sherry! exults Stokes-- perhaps her reign of terror has ended. He's less happy to learn Nicholas has taken the House by the Sea and is sticking around. He can't believe it, but Vicki says it's true, he's living there now. The queen is dead, long live the king, says Stokes--if the queen is truly dead, which I doubt. Carolyn enters and apologizes for the delay. She asks Vicki to leave. Vicki requests that Carolyn let Jeff know she'll be waiting on the terrace. Carolyn closes the doors and tells Stokes he must take Adam with him-tonight--he can't stay with her. It's neither his fault, nor hers, adds Carolyn, but he's changing, growing up--it's to be expected--he's sweet and bright, and learns fast. Stokes is surprised at the list of positives--what about the bad? She tells Stokes what Adam did and that he wants to make her love him. Carolyn begs for help--Adam is no longer a child, but a man.
Vicki and Jeff smooch on the terrace. He asks her favorite day of the month, and she says September. Then he asks for a day, and she suggests the 24th. He writes that down and says it's a special day--they're going to be married! Married? she asks. If you agree, he says (so nice he added that). He fears she is going to say no; he had enough trouble just asking her--he didn't feel he had a right to ask her to marry him, and wants her to think about it.
Jeff can point out all his disadvantages--not knowing who he is (and he might never know). Vicki knows all this. He wanted to wait until he learned more about himself, but that could take a long time--he wants her now--who does she love, Peter Bradford, Jeff Clark or both? Both, she replies. I love you so much, says Jeff passionately, and I don't know why you loves me, but I don't want you to stop. They kiss some more. He promises to change--he wants her to have everything. He opens a ring box and says it isn't what he wanted to give her (so why give it, you fool?). She says it's beautiful, she loves it. It's old fashioned, and reminded me of you, he says. She asks him to put it on her, and tells him which finger. He does (it's a light blue stone), then they kiss. (Alex Moltke doesn't kiss with as much fervor as Roger Davis does.) He tells Vicki he has a terrible fear something will happen, he might lose her, but she assures him that won't happen. Adam watches them, observing their technique.
Stokes and Carolyn go to Adam. Outside the door, he says he had best see Adam alone--he knows what he must do. Carolyn begs him not to hurt the big guy, but he says he might have to; a good deal of trouble can be caused by kindness. After she leaves, he knocks on Adam's door. They shake hands and Adam says he's glad to see him. Adam points out he keeps his hand grip firm as he instructed him, and Stokes, rubbing his hand, says he sees that. Then Adam tells the professor he's angry at him-you didn't teach me right. Stokes disagrees. Being polite isn't everything, says Adam, and Stokes agrees with this. A man must grab what he wants, says Adam. Stokes replies, "If his hands can hold it, yes." Adam explains that each man has one chance only. True for most men, agrees Stokes. Adam says he's no different, but Stokes hesitates and responds that Adam is different in some ways. Stokes isn't sure what they are talking about, but Adam says he's referring to himself. He asks Stokes if he believes in love. For some people, says Stokes. Some people should not be in love, adds Stokes, it would be most unwise. "I am in love," says Adam--with Carolyn--she doesn't understand; Stokes must tell her for him. Will he do it? Stokes seems at a loss for words.
"What should I tell her?" asks Stokes. How love is, responds Adam. Stokes is sure Carolyn knows that. Adam wonders why, then, is she so frightened. He doesn't mean to scare her, he must tell her that, then she will love him. It's not that simple, says Stokes. Explain, asks Adam. Carolyn is a sophisticated girl who has led an unusual life for our times, says Stokes--she has money, she can do what she likes, see whomever she likes--she has a great deal of freedom. Adam says he wants freedom, too. Carolyn will marry someone of similar background, says Stokes, but Adam says no, she will marry ME. She doesn't love you, protests Stokes. Adam insists he will make her love him. That may not be possible, says Stokes, you are quite different from her. Adam insists he learns fast, and Stokes agrees. I will learn whatever Carolyn wants me to know, adds Adam. Stokes says it's more complex than that. I hate that word, complains Adam--you must make it simple for me. Stokes wishes he could make him understand how they are born, raised, grow up, learn a little at a time; when they reach maturity, they know what they want, they've made their choices. So have I, asserts Adam. No, says Stokes, you are different-what is your first memory? Barnabas, says Adam--I saw him long ago. Two months ago, that's all, says Stokes. Adam asks where he was before that, and Stokes replies, "You tell me." Adam insists he doesn't know, and he wants Stokes to tell him--where was I before, tell me! Stokes, reluctant, finally burst out, "You did not exist!--that is the truth. I only hope you are mature enough to hear it." Adam doesn't understand this--I must have existed, where did I come from? Stokes tells Adam he knows as much as he needs to know, but when Adam demands more, Stokes finally relents. "There was a man who had a unique dream," he says, "he believed he could create a human being. He believed his creation would have the strength of a lion and the mind of a genius. Two months ago, his dream became reality--an incredible experiment was performed and it was successful. The result was that you began to breathe, to live. Do you understand me, Adam?" Adam, furious and depressed, grabs the brick wall in despair. I didn't want to tell you this, says Stokes--look at me, please--I will help you, we all will. Adam hugs the wall, not answering Stokes.
Stokes assures Adam that in time, "You will be indistinguishable from any of us"--you can't marry now, you know nothing of the world-I'm one of the few people who knows how you came to live--Carolyn doesn't know, but Barnabas and Julia do--they won't tell--none of them will--Adam needed to know. Stokes begs Adam to speak to him. "Barnabas knows," says Adam softly. "If Adam dies. . ." Stokes assures him he has many years to live yet. "If both live, Barnabas will be free," mutters Adam. Stokes asks what he's repeating, but Adam waves him away and orders him to just go. Stokes doesn't want to leave him like this, but Adam screams, "Just leave me alone, you're not my friend, now go!" Stokes tells him he's truly sorry he had to tell him this and not to think badly of him or himself--he won't in time. Stokes leaves. Adam sits, dejected. "Carolyn," he murmurs. "Barnabas. . .Barnabas. . .if both live, Barnabas will be free of his affliction. . .Barnabas."
Carolyn asks Stokes what he told him. Many things, replies Stokes, most of which you need not know--most important, as far as you are concerned, that you can never love him, and Adam will grow away from his love for you. She realizes he's upset and asks if Adam should leave. Adam wouldn't come with me, says Stokes, right now, I'm no longer Adam's friend. Carolyn asks if she should speak to Adam, and he advises her to keep away from him for a day or two, as long as she can. She assures him Harry can bring Adam his food. We have to see how he's going to react, says Stokes. Carolyn wishes this hadn't happened--she likes Adam and feels so sorry for him. Stokes agrees, and more than he ever could have believed possible.
Adam gazes at himself in the mirror, touching his scars. "You are not like other people, Adam," he tells himself. "You were created differently. That's why Carolyn cannot love you!" He smashes the mirror, then picks up a sharp knife from his breakfast tray. "Barnabas knew," he says, "not like other people! That's why she hates me!" He turns the knife around, preparing to plunge it into his chest. "SHE HATES ME!" he screams.
NOTES: Will Adam succeed in committing suicide? If so, will Barnabas revert to being a vampire again? These were the kind of moments that froze our souls back in 1968.
Poor Adam. Why can't Carolyn love him? Feelings are feelings. She already pities him, and perhaps more, but Stokes pointed out the differences between them, most of which probably add up to money, which she has and he doesn't. Joe Haskell was a relatively poor boy, and she nearly married him. I don't think Carolyn is quite as much of a snob as Stokes thinks she is. Both of these people mean well for Adam, but everything is a mess. How will it all be resolved?
551 - Harry's entrance prevents Adam from killing himself. Adam hides the knife behind his back and is quiet and surly as Harry admits Adam must use his old silverware because he had to quickly exit the kitchen.
Harry notices Adam is hiding something behind his back and accuses him of having the knife. Adam tells Harry to go away, but Harry refuses to leave until Adam gives up the knife. Adam orders him to go away, then lifts the knife. "I will kill myself!" he screams. He and Harry grapple for the knife, Adam moaning, "Carolyn hates me!" Harry assures him that isn't true. Adam is again about to plunge the knife into his chest, but Harry reminds him that Carolyn is feeding him, hiding him, giving him books--she wouldn't be that good to him if she didn't like him. This reasonable explanation on Harry's part (a nice thing to see), works, and Adam relinquishes the knife. Harry tells Adam to eat; he'll go get Carolyn and she'll talk to him. Morosely, Adam surveys his reflection in the damaged mirror, touching his scars.
Harry finds Nicholas downstairs. Nicholas notices the knife he's carrying and asks if he's planning to attack Carolyn. Nicholas tells Harry Carolyn left with Stokes, and demands Harry tell him what scared him so much--was it Adam? I know about him, says Nicholas. Harry doesn't think he should tell Nicholas anything, but Blair is firm: "Out with it!" Harry tells him about Adam's suicide attempt. Nicholas wants to go right upstairs; he orders Harry to stay in the foyer and tell Carolyn everything that happened, then rushes upstairs.
Adam lies on the bed, unhappy. Nicholas enters. Adam says he thought he went away, and Nicholas says he does have a home of his own now, but came to see Carolyn on business. Nicholas asks him why he wanted to die, and Adam, angry at Nicholas for telling him to grab what he wants, explains what Stokes told him about himself, citing it as the reason Carolyn can't love him.
Nicholas suggests Adam doesn't want to be different from others, and Adam admits this is true. Nicholas tells him he knew of Adam's "difference", but befriended him anyway; he's far better than other people in many ways-so being different is good. Carolyn hates me, says Adam. Nicholas tells him he's extraordinary man with an ordinary problem--he hates being rejected, being alone all the time. Adam admits this is true. Nicholas says there is a solution to his problem, a way he can be happy like other people. He asks Adam if he'd like him to reveal what it is, a friendly hand on his shoulder.
Carolyn returns home; Harry is happy to see her. He asks her to get someone else to take Adam his food; Adam isn't right in the head--he belongs in a hospital. He confesses that Adam tried to kill himself. Carolyn is horrified. She says Harry should have come out to find her, but Johnson tells her Nicholas went up to see Adam. She reminds Harry the house is hers and he should know who gives the orders--her, not Nicholas--make another blunder like this and it will be the last he makes at Collinwood, she warns, rushing upstairs.
Adam nods with pleasure, and Nicholas tells him to remember what he must do. It has to remain their secret, and Carolyn can't know; she might not understand. Carolyn bursts in and rails at Nicholas for being there without her permission. He was only trying to help in a crisis, he says. She says she can deal with the problem and tells him to leave. Nicholas assures her he fixed everything up. Indeed, Adam tells Carolyn he feels very good now. Nicholas admits Adam tried to commit suicide, but he's happy now, and Adam concurs. Carolyn wonders how Adam's depression was lifted so easily, and tells the departing Nicholas she wants to speak to him; wait for her downstairs. Adam is smiling slightly. Carolyn asks if he's sure he's all right. Yes, he says. I will talk to Nicholas, then come up to speak to you, she says, but he says everything will soon be better and there's no need to talk. Carolyn leaves, perturbed and puzzled. Adam is still smiling.
Nicholas gazes at Barnabas' portrait, his face showing nothing. He sits down at the piano and plays a few notes. Carolyn comes in and asks how he brought Adam under control so quickly--what did you tell him? Nicholas says he tried to understand Adam's problem. He's been subjected to lots of intolerance and rejection. He spoke to him on his own level, and Adam opened up immediately. Carolyn finds it hard to believe--a man has to be really depressed to want to kill himself--Nicholas solved this so quickly.
Nicholas says Carolyn can't help being suspicious of him even when he does something good. Carolyn apologizes, she isn't suspicious of what Nicholas did, she's grateful he took care of Adam. She thanks him, and Nicholas says he's happy to be of service--remember that in the future and call on me. Carolyn assures him she will. Nicholas says that because Adam tried to kill himself, he and Carolyn have become good friends--at least he hopes so. Carolyn smiles like she isn't too sure of this.
Adam skulks around the Old House, spying through the window on Barnabas (who is in his red smoking jacket, yummy). Adam knocks at the door, shocking Barnabas, pushes past him and says, "I will come in and we will talk." Adam says it's been a long time, and many bad things have happened to him. Barnabas notes how quickly Adam has learned, he can say a lot more now. Defiant, Adam says, "Music. . .food. . .friend!" Barnabas recalls the first words Adam put together? "If both live." He asks about the tape recording Adam heard and asks him to tell him. No, Adam has another agenda, and observes that Barnabas is afraid of him. Barnabas admits this is true, Adam threatened him. Adam says he CAN kill Barnabas if he doesn't give him what he wants. Barnabas finds Adam's development incredible, far beyond the ability to speak--he can think and transform thoughts into action--and not always constructive action, either. He asks him about striking down Joe Haskell in the woods, and bringing his body to the Old House so Barnabas would be blamed. Barnabas is surprised at Adam's deviousness, and asks who has been helping him. Adam doesn't want to discuss this, he reminds him he treated him badly, hurt him, made others hurt him. Barnabas denies this-I never wanted anyone to hurt you. Adam tells him he failed at this. Barnabas says he had to protect others from Adam; in the beginning, he reacted out of fear and was dangerous, even if he didn't intend to be. He had to stop him. Adam says that isn't how he hurt him; he made him different from other people and didn't tell him he was a creature. Barnabas is shocked; Dr. Lang was responsible for his creation, not him. Adam doesn't know Dr. Lang, but Barnabas was standing by the table when he woke up. Ever since then, he thought Barnabas created him, but Barn tells him this is wrong; he isn't a doctor.
Adam accuses him of lying; he knows the truth, whoever created other people made them beautiful, but Barnabas created him and made him ugly, and that's why people fear him and don't want to come near him-I am alone, and am tired of being alone--I will not go on being lonely and unhappy, and since ordinary people can't love me, I need someone else who is different to love me and be with me all the time. "And that is why you, Barnabas, will created for me--a woman!" Barnabas gazes at his son, his forehead creased in astonishment.
NOTES: Harry was actually pretty nice to Adam, and that was good to see. Nicholas, on the other hand, is sure putting some wild ideas into Adam's head. Poor Adam, thinking someone created as he was will love him. Life just isn't that simple, Adam!
So Adam has come to Daddy and demanded a bride, made in the same manner in which he was created. He assumes this will mean the female creature will love him. Nothing ever quite works out in real life, and even less so on DS. And we know Nicholas has evil intentions in mind, his only goal his own reward for pleasing his master. And somehow, I also sense that Adam will never love another woman as much as he does Carolyn. He may not be of her class, but there are strong feelings on her part, too.
Love, Robin
