Barnabas - "I'm awfully sorry, Judith, but I simply cannot ________ because ________"
"accompany the family to morning Mass" because "I worship the Horned God: Cernunnous."
"come to breakfast" because "of my irritable bowel syndrome."
"try some of your famous home-baked garlic bread" because "I don't like you."
"explain my use of the phrases: 'groovy' & 'Sock it to me!'" because "you're a woman, so why should I explain ANYTHING to you?!"
"go mirror shopping with you & Edward this afternoon" because "I will prowling hookers downtown, to satisfy my unnatural urges..er I mean, conducting business in Bangor..."
