Episode #0743

[It's up to the first poster to come up with a set up, and then each following post will either complete it or fill in the blank(s). And, as always, whoever posts the set up is certainly allowed to post their own completion/fill in as a follow up.]

Setup:

When Dirk heard voices in his head telling him to grow a beard, he was puzzled because...

...because his moustache had already told him if he grew a beard, it was going to rip itself off, and take his lip along with it.