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Author Topic: How do vampires shave and groom themselves....  (Read 2277 times)
TNickey2003
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« on: December 20, 2006, 03:48:03 AM »

....if they can't even see their own reflections in the mirror!  Even more tortuous for women vampires wanting to look nice (except for those blooper moments when Angelique's reflection is clearly seen in the mirror).
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« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2006, 09:48:46 AM »

Now I can't get the image out of my head of Angelique, when she was vamped, walking into a room, looking like Tammy Faye Baker, everyone starting to snicker, and she says perplexed:  "What?  What's everyone laughing at?  What?  Tell me!"

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« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2006, 11:04:19 AM »

 [laughing4]  [stfl]

 [santa_thumb] Gerard.
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Brandon Collins
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« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2006, 05:02:52 PM »

I like to think that the women close to our favorite vampires help them out in those areas. Not only does it work, it also adds some romanticism to it all.

Angel had Buffy, then Cordelia.

Barnabas had Julia, Angelique, Roxanne, Vicki, Maggie, all those 'working' gals he killed, etc.

The above would also explain why he kept Maggie for so long and absolutely REFUSED to let her go--he needed grooming.
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« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2006, 05:31:13 PM »

I was always under the impression that grooming, eating, sleeping, basically everything that humans need to do, weren't things vampires had to do since they're dead.  They don't get tired, hungry (not including bloodlust of course) and I wouldn't think they'd need to shave, bathe, clip nails or get haircuts.   Right?  [santa_cool]
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« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2006, 06:12:37 PM »

I was always under the impression that grooming, eating, sleeping, basically everything that humans need to do, weren't things vampires had to do since they're dead.  They don't get tired, hungry (not including bloodlust of course) and I wouldn't think they'd need to shave, bathe, clip nails or get haircuts.   Right?  [santa_cool]
Good point.  And, this theory would definitely be backed up by the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles. I seem to recall that they can't change even if they want to...for instance, when Claudia - permanently stuck in a child's body - gets sick of it sometime around the age of 35 or so and tries to rebel by cutting her hair off only to discover it back, exactly the same length a short while later.
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« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2006, 01:01:09 AM »

Barnabas then is lucky. We never seen him unshaved, let alone sporting a beard or mustache. He is always clean shaven.  A dead man's beard would irritate the flesh of the lady he would like to attract.  I wonder if he would have been so charming and disarming to Vicky if he had a beard instead of the clean shaven face we all recognize.


I was always under the impression that grooming, eating, sleeping, basically everything that humans need to do, weren't things vampires had to do since they're dead.  They don't get tired, hungry (not including bloodlust of course) and I wouldn't think they'd need to shave, bathe, clip nails or get haircuts.   Right?  [santa_cool]
Good point.  And, this theory would definitely be backed up by the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles. I seem to recall that they can't change even if they want to...for instance, when Claudia - permanently stuck in a child's body - gets sick of it sometime around the age of 35 or so and tries to rebel by cutting her hair off only to discover it back, exactly the same length a short while later.
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« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2006, 04:13:30 AM »

Barnabas then is lucky. We never seen him unshaved

I think the only time we see Frid w/5 o'clock shadow 'in character' is in episode 1203 when he was playing Bramwell.  Can anyone else think of another time?
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« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2006, 04:56:12 AM »

They may not need to shave, eat, or indeed poop (I visited this subject myself in a thread some time back), or make with the wee-wee either.    Bathing is necessary though, since the dust and dirt etc of this filthy, filthy world accumulate on vampires too.    They may need to take in moisture.    That may evaporate away or something.     Wait, they drink blood.   I forgot.     Duh squared.   Alcohol might affect them.    But then piddling would be a necessity.     Well, I don't suppose the plumbing stops working... or does it?    What exactly happens to all those internal organs that don't need to function any longer?

Some upkeep is required, it's safe to say, I think.    And who better to handle all that, than your personal cadre of slave-women (or men, depending...).    What moron of a vampire isn't going to take advantage of that?     Dirk.    He's just stupid enough to never think of it.    Anemia, small price to pay for soaping up Megan Todd.... what are slaves for?

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« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2006, 11:49:33 AM »

Barnabas then is lucky. We never seen him unshaved, let alone sporting a beard or mustache. He is always clean shaven.  A dead man's beard would irritate the flesh of the lady he would like to attract.  I wonder if he would have been so charming and disarming to Vicky if he had a beard instead of the clean shaven face we all recognize.

Hmm this bring to mind a vague memory I have from the History Channel show on Vampires.  Anyone else see that one?  The thing about the lack of a beard made me think of the segment on people being disenterred, the people of the town seeing a growth of beard or nails, and that and other factors causing the opinion that they are still alive being the cause of "vampire epidemics".  They explained an interesting fact (hope I don't gross out anyone not into medical geekiness with this one) that the nails and beard don't actually GROW -- it's an illusion caused by the retraction of the skin, which I forget whether they credited to either decomposition or deydration.

So, Barn's clean shavenness makes sense. Being he died that way it would be logical for him to stay that way.

Of course, combing hair and other appearance things he would still be needing the services of a minion.  [8_2_73]
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« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2007, 02:09:31 AM »

 ;D You're forgetting he had Willie! Whether or not he needed to shave or his bodily functions worked as a human being's, he sure needed to bathe, wash his hair, comb it, etc. And he needed his clothes washed and pressed. These duties would have fallen to Willie.

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« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2007, 02:28:07 AM »

Why now?  They eat, sleep and roam the earth at night.  I'm sure they get dirty from their blood-sucking adventures.  If a vamp wants to marry a woman, I hope he plans on doing it clear!  ;)
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2007, 09:04:37 AM »

Why now?  They eat, sleep and roam the earth at night.  I'm sure they get dirty from their blood-sucking adventures.  If a vamp wants to marry a woman, I hope he plans on doing it clear!  ;)

I wonder if they have the same lusts?? Or is everything just dormant.

Barnabas on Viagra  ;D
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