Hi Connie,
You said it, girlfriend-- communicating online with someone prevents us from seeing the twinkle in someone's eye when they're teasing us, or the wry smile on their face. I think what happened between BobtheB and Scout75 was simply a misunderstanding that I'm sure can be worked out between them. It's been my experience that once harsh words are exchanged, the hard feelings that may result can be very difficult for some to overcome, particularly if the incident is public, and that's why I'll remove nasty comments directed toward other users-- I've seen too many instances in online fandom in which a simple misunderstanding leads to statements that can't be taken back, and then the offended party responds by firing back, others begin to take sides, and you have the makings of a flame war. Believe me, it's far better for everyone when it's stopped as early as possible.
It was obvious to you and to me that Scout75 was kidding, but I realize others might not be as familiar with his sense of humor as we are. But as I said, I'm hopeful it can be worked out. For obvious reasons I can't quote what was pulled, so I hope it suffices to say that I felt it was inflammatory. To decide if something is a personal attack, I simply ask myself if a disagreement has become personal and if it's insulting or embarrassing to the other party, and if I feel it is then I won't hesitate to remove it.
Since you had lingering questions about what happened before, I'm really glad you brought them up. First off, I have to say that while slander is mentioned in that guideline, no one behind these boards feels that questions or discussions about whether an actor or actress is gay is slanderous. We do, however, feel that it's potentially a privacy issue. If the guideline remains confusing to anyone, please write me about it cuz if that's the case then I'm sure it can be broken up to separate the issues of slander and invasion of privacy, but for the time being the guideline addresses both.
That having been said, I'll explain how the guideline came about. There are fans that know very intimate details about the lives of the DS actors and staff and sharing them would no doubt violate their privacy. So where do you draw the line on what can be discussed, and how do you separate fact from fiction? Well, at the onset, we decided to address these questions by not allowing the discussion of ANY private matter here that hasn't been shared at a public event or in a published source. This is not limited to the subject of sexual identity, and it's not an attempt to pass judgment on the information itself nor to censor messages; its intent is to protect the privacy of the DS actor or actresss, and in some cases to protect the forum and the poster that shared the information from legal action in the event that the information happens to be libelous.
You're wondering why I didn't remove that topic. I admit that I have, in the past, removed similar discussions, only to find that the issue will come up again by someone else that also wasn't aware of the guideline, so I've found that in some cases it's best to stop the discussion and state my reasons for doing so rather than to make it go away completely. But if information of a private nature gets posted that can be harmful to a DS star, it'll be removed as quickly as possible.
I'm sorry that you and A.I.Collins became upset and I apologize if my comments caused you any embarrassment because that was never my intention. Similar questions have come up MANY times on the forum, and I never felt you were doing anything wrong-- I knew you just weren't aware of the guideline. MB and I had discussed your request to delete the topic, and we both agreed that if I deleted it, it would just come up again from someone else that also didn't know there was a rule about it. Do you see where I'm coming from?
So, how do you decide what should be censored/edited and what should not?
Well, the thing about the internet is that just when you think you've seen everything, the universe will surely smack you upside the head with some new challenge. I try to handle each situation individually in a manner that I think is best for the forum and its visitors, and always in the context of the forum guidelines. I'll be the first to admit that I've made mistakes, but I do try to learn from every experience.
I'm fine, thanks, and I hope you are too.
I'm pleased to say that another moderator will be starting very soon (smoochies to Dom). MB and I trust his judgment completely, and I can't be more thrilled to finally get some days off... er, I mean, to have him join our team.
And so what if he's a Giants fan, hee hee.
