Yeah, Belter. You'll recognize it if you Google up some images. Apparently there was a Mr. Belter.

"YOU'RE THE SECRET!" has to be one of my favorite TV moments from anything ever.

Barnabas is nervous as Quentin holds him at sword's point. I guess he's afraid of what will happen if Quentin run him through--basically, nothing much. Judith returns with tea and the men patch things up, but they are still at daggers drawn, metaphorically anyway.

In the woods, Barnabas meets Beth (returning from town, because she is without the parcel). Beth admits to the existence of Jamison and Nora, but is startled when Barn mentions another child. After she leaves, Barn has another wonderful, though brief, soliloquy about the missing child. He looks around him at the woods and up at the moon, but nature offers him no explanation.

All we will ever lean about Charlie is that he was drunk. All we will ever learn about Captain Strathmore is that he was considerate. Barn looks sad as he realizes that his encounter with Sophie can end in only one way. He gets a mouthful of blond curls as he bites her. Does she die? I really don't remember. I don't know whether "compact" is a modern (20th cent.) term. Did Barn give Edith a compact? I don't remember that either.

Quentin waylays poor Beth again. It seems the tray she's carrying has too much food for his grandmother, but Beth smoothly replies (truthfully) that Judith is dining with Edith. Later, up in Edith's room, Judith tells Beth to take the rest of the food "upstairs." Hmmm.... Also, Beth never calls Quentin "Mr. Quentin." Also hmmm...

Quentin is really mean to his grandmother as well as to everyone else.

Here is the opening voice over, which we will be hearing, with some variations, for some time to come, in this ep. by Joan Bennett: The Great House at Collinwood stands deserted. The living have sought refuge elsewhere, leaving an evil spirit to roam the cold empty corridors alone. For some, this night will seem an eternity. Barnabas Collins remains in a deep trance. He has employed the mysterious powers of the I Ching and gone through the door to the infinite, hoping to find and defeat the spirit that haunts Collinwood. But beyond the door he has been transported back in time to the year 1897--a time of intrigue and terror for all who live at Collinwood.

Magda has a lifetime's experience at bargaining, but she's no match for Barnabas and succumbs to the lure of a ring with an egg-size ruby. Barnabas has to pretend ignorance about Quentin and quizzes Magda about “that young gentleman who was just here”: Why is he so anxious to find out the family secret? Everyone is, Magda replies. Quentin thought I could help him. I am Mrs. Collins’s spiritual adviser, she announces grandly, then has to admit she doesn’t know the family secret either. How does Quentin stand with Mrs. Collins? Barnabas asks. She knows he is bad, but he is able to charm her, Magda replies as she gazes into her crystal ball. Is Quentin a dangerous man? Barnabas asks. Yes, very dangerous, Magda answers. Why are you so curious about him? Barnabas says, I want to find out everything I can about Quentin before tomorrow night--when I will be at Collinwood and the family will see a strange visitor, a distant cousin from England, he adds with a triumphant smile. But not even a vampire could be prepared for the nest of vipers in which Barnabas wants to move.

We get to see a nice spat between Judith and Quentin. Magda arrives (after receiving off-screen instructions from Barnabas), and Judith gets up to leave. Magda says she has a warning for the entire family, and Quentin prevails on Judith to stay. Meanwhile, Beth eavesdrops outside the closed drawing-room doors. Magda looks into her crystal ball, then solemnly declares, It was the arrangement of the cards that gave me the warning about the stranger who will arrive tonight, after sunset. Who is it? Judith asks. I don’t know his name, but he will pretend to be a friend or perhaps a relative. Then she dares to go beyond her instructions and warns them, You must not trust him, because he is mysterious and malicious. His motives are not pure. What does he look like? Quentin asks. I can tell you neither his name nor what he looks like, because he is a creature of darkness, but you will all have something to lose by his presence. But you, Quentin, you will have the most to lose.

We can see that out in the foyer, the portrait of the "original" Barnabas hangs in its accustomed spot.

Beth's tiny garret room is hardly big enough for both her and Quentin. We (at least I) get the feeling that he has visited it many, many times. Beth is getting ready to go the village on an errand that involves (1) a bundle of something; and (1) three hundred dollars in CASH--a small fortune in 1897. She is every bit his match in wits as she avoids answering his questions, and we are led to understand that her unknown, unnamed mistress has long since left Collinwood. Quentin thinks Beth has stayed on because she and Edward have something going. Insulted, she slaps Quentin, hard. Did you do that out of anger or guilt? Quentin asks, grabbing her by the shoulders. Anger! she replies promptly, her voice shaking. Don’t ever do it again, he warns her. Don’t give me reason to, and I won’t have to, she retorts. Now leave me alone! I can’t do that, he replies, for the simple reason that you don’t want me to. Don’t I? she asks harshly. Though well within kissing range, she adds scornfully, Next, you’ll be telling me that I stayed because I was waiting for you to come back! Did you? Quentin asks. Beth retorts, Why don’t you ask a friend of mine in Collinsport? I am sure you would like to meet him. You might even learn something from him. He is a gentleman! She steps around him and escapes at last. Quentin doesn’t stop her, but looks thoughtful.

Promptly at sunset, the "cousin from England" arrives, now appropriately dressed for 1897. As always, he carries his silver wolf’s-head cane, which has somehow traveled through time with him. Judith is charmed and invites him into the drawing room while she goes to get Quentin, the temporary head of the family. As soon as Judith leaves, Barnabas looks around the drawing room, noting the changes from 1967 (and no doubt from 1796 as well).

Judith actually admits to Quentin that she's disturbed--Magda's prophecy seems to be coming true. Judith introduces Barnabas to Quentin. Apparently hostile already, the two men don’t shake hands. An _unexpected_ pleasure, _Cousin_, Quentin says, showing his teeth, but not in a smile. Barnabas apologizes for not announcing his arrival in advance. Quentin replies, We’re always delighted to welcome family members--no matter how _distantly_ related.

The wonderful triple S-curved loveseat gets its moment of glory as the three seat themselves while the conversation continues. Barnabas says, I arrived late this afternoon. I enjoy traveling. Quentin remarks to Judith on Barnabas’s amazing resemblance to the portrait in the foyer. Ah, yes, the “original” Barnabas Collins, our Barnabas agrees. Yes, Judith says, he lived a hundred years ago, in this house. Yes, Barnabas says, I'm quite familiar with his life, being a direct descendant. The “original” Barnabas left Collinwood in 1798 (what he says!), went to England and established that branch of the family. Quentin says, I’m afraid I’m not familiar with  the Collins family history. Barnabas says deprecatingly, I'm not a historian. Quentin walks over to  the liquor caddy and offers Barnabas some spiritous refreshment; when Barnabas declines, he suggests Judith get some tea. Instead of simply reaching for the bell pull, she leaves--apparently the servant problem obtains in 1897 as well.

I'm impressed with Collinwood, Barnabas says. It’s a beautiful house. I understand Edward is away, but Judith said something curious--that Edward is the acting head of the family. Yes, Quentin says. He is still on his feet and walks over to the swords on the wall as he continues, Edward fancies himself the head of the family. Our grandmother Edith is the real head, but she is over ninety and unable to function; in fact, I don’t think she has much longer. Edward is the oldest grandson and naturally has assumed he is next in line. That’s a logical assumption, Barnabas remarks. If there were anything logical about Edith, says Quentin, but there isn't. Now turning to face the swords, he asks, What boat did you arrive on, Cousin? The _Pride of Jamestown_, Barnabas replies smoothly. It arrived at four-thirty this afternoon. Yes, so it did, Quentin agrees blandly as he draws one of the swords from its scabbard. With his back to Quentin, Barnabas steps over to the french windows and says, I’m curious about the portraits in this room--is the one of Joshua here? Quentin says, No, it’s somewhere in the West Wing. Privately displeased that his father has been relegated to such a distant region of the house, Barnabas comments quietly, I see. I understand he built Collinwood, and it seems to me that-- As he looks at a portrait, we can see the business end of a sword come into the shot. When Barnabas turns around in mid-sentence, Quentin holds the sword to his throat. I advise you not to make a move, Quentin says. Is this a practical joke, Cousin? Barnabas asks in surprise. Quentin answers with increasing heat, No! No, it certainly is not. You see, it just so happens that I recently returned from England myself. I spent the better part of six months there. I had ample time to discover that there is no English branch of our family. There never has been! His eyes glittering dangerously, he tells the dismayed Barnabas, Now, I give you exactly five minutes to tell me who you are and what you want here, or so help me, I will run you through!...


[Bonus in the closing credits--Jonathan Frid walks through the foyer, then hastily out of camera range, carrying his street clothes!]

Yup, MT, these are some of my favorite episodes. I like what you say about Barnabas's vampire self.

JF is absolutely in his element. Barnabas is horrified that he has reverted and without Dr. Hoffman's magic elixir. But his quick and clever mind is hard at work as he sets out to establish himself. By now he has the "cousin from England" gambit down cold and knows exactly how to prepare.

We get wonderful verbal duels between Magda and Quentin. No love lost on either side.

JB is just fabulous as the conniving Judith and gets to wear another knockout period gown in a color that suits her perfectly. No love lost between Judith and anybody else.

Welcome, three-seated S-curve love seat! That thing must have a name, but I don't know what it is. Quentin insists on seeing Jamison, regardless of the late hour. Jamison arrives in pjs and bathrobe, thrilled that Uncle Quentin is back. Quentin takes out the gift he’s brought: a beautiful model ship (the same one that sits on the breakfront in 1967). It’s to take you away with, he says. Jamison is thrilled to see that it’s named the _Jamison Collins_. [spoiler][A long time from now, it will become the notorious _Java Queen_, and we will meet its sinister crew.][/spoiler] At this point, Judith walks in and stares hard at them. Jamison bursts out, I won’t tell him! I don’t want Quentin to go away! I won’t tell him! I won’t! I won’t! He hugs Quentin hard. There is your answer, Judith, Quentin tells his sister smugly. She retorts, You didn’t come back because of Grandmama at all! You came back to finish ruining Jamison! They exchange glares.

Great scene also when Magda returns to the OH and finds Sandor--and Barnabas. His calling her "Madam" is no sign of respect. He is sad and angry at the state of the OH--and utterly affronted that Magda is sleeping in Josette's room. Their argument is interrupted when someone knocks at the door. Already enslaved to Barnabas, Sandor pleads with Magda to obey him.

The knocking has turned to pounding. The visitor is Quentin. As Barnabas peers through the grille for his first look at his living adversary, he listens intently to the ensuing conversation. Notice I knocked? Quentin says. I kept my manners, no matter what anyone else may say. Be quick, Magda tells him. Immediately suspicious, he asks, Am I interrupting something? No, Sandor replies, Magda is just tired. I was expecting more hospitality, Quentin comments. And what about those interesting things my grandmother said today? I forgot them, she mutters. Quentin grabs her arm angrily.  Get out, she tells him. Something is wrong, Quentin says quietly, and I want to know what. Nothing! Sandor insists nervously. Just a nice quiet evening at home discussing my generous offer? Quentin asks sarcastically. I ain’t aware of your offer, Sandor says. Something is very strange here, Quentin insists. Magda tells Quentin, We can't discuss it tonight. Tomorrow, she promises, just to be rid of him. Sandor offers, I will talk to her tonight if you will leave us. I’m curious, Quentin admits. I never knew Magda to be upset before. Until tomorrow, he says, giving them a mocking bow before he leaves. Sandor asks Magda, Why didn't you tell me? Who is _that_? Magda asks as she points to Barnabas’s hiding place. He has the mark of death on him, she says. Tell me! she insists. Sandor turns away from her, but she grabs his arm--and sees the wound on his neck Those marks! she gasps, horrified. Sandor doesn’t answer but simply runs from the house in anguish and shame. Magda turns toward the basement door and points through the grille at Barnabas, screaming, Vampire!...

Great stuff, MT! Yes, we are definitely in 1895 now, and the whole nest-of-vipers scenario is loads of fun!

Establisher shots: Eagle Hill Cemetery; the Collins mausoleum; the secret room; the chained coffin. Barnabas (in his 1795 clothes) suddenly wakes up and realizes where he is--and what he has once more become. He presses up on the lid, but the coffin is still secured in the chains that his father order Ben Stokes to wrap around it in 1796.

Nice repartee between Magda and Sandor. It seems to be underlaid with real fondness. I think that somewhere, GH said that Magda was her favorite role, and no wonder. She can pretty much get away with anything.

A man’s hand in a black glove knocks on the front doors of the Great House of Collinwood. Quentin Collins--no ghost but a living, flesh-and-blood man--calls repeatedly, Hello! Hello! (his first line!) The doors are opened--by Beth Chávez, looking every bit as regal in life as she was in death. Quentin is witty and sarcastic, but he's a real mean, utterly selfish bastard. Beth doesn't deserve such mistreatment. The writers have done a great job of setting him up here.

Since there is at least one actual servant (Beth) in the house in 1897, the bell pull next to the fireplace now makes sense.

Welcome to the wonderful and genuinely elderly Isabella Hoopes as Edith! Because she is the senior female in the household, Beth properly should call her Mrs. Collins. The free-spirited Magda always refers to her simply as Edith.

And since Edward (as we will learn) is the oldest grandson and I suppose the Master of Collinwood, he should be Mr. Collins to Beth.

In a small blooper, the secret panel actually opens slightly before Sandor pulls the ring. He scarcely has time to be horrified before a bone-white hand grabs him by the throat....

Barn and Maggie find Quentin's Room. Suddenly they hear approaching footsteps--but it's only Professor Stokes, who followed them. He thinks Quentin died in this room. The trio find Amy hiding behind a curtain and unable to speak.

The I Ching! Stokes finds Quentin's set of I Ching wands and says he now knows a lot more about Quentin than he did a moment before. Barnabas looks apprehensive as he thinks about the I Ching, something beyond his ken.

We get the big "Turn of the Screw" scene: At Collinwood, Maggie comes down from the upstairs landing, closing the door behind her. She has obviously been searching for David and is trying to decide what to do now. She calls David’s name as she starts back up. Can you hear me? she calls. I know you’re in the house! I want to help you! Please make a sound, she begs him. On hearing nothing, she goes back down to the foyer, defeated. To her joy, David steps out onto the landing. Don’t come up here! he warns her. I’ve come to take you away, Maggie says. I know, he replies. Don’t you want to come with me? she asks. David nods. Quentin expresses his displeasure with a sudden thunderclap. Maggie calls out to him, I am not afraid of you! I am not going to let you keep David! Come to me, David, she implores him. Clearly paralyzed with fear, he wails, I want to, but I can’t! Maggie tells him, Then you can, you can if you try. Walk down the stairs and into my arms, she coaxes him. David looks back toward the closed landing door, then carefully backs away. Holding onto the railing, he starts to move toward Maggie, who tells him, You’ll never have to be afraid again! When he reaches the top of the stairs, the landing door slowly opens. He turns toward it fearfully and stops. Maggie calls out, Don’t stop now! Then she calls out defiantly, Quentin, you can’t have him! He is not yours to have! He is not like you, Quentin! I am going to make sure that he never will be! she vows passionately. After another thunderclap, Maggie faces the open landing door and tells Quentin resolutely, I’m not afraid of you! I’m not! You can’t change David! You have tried, and you have failed! Quentin, I love David, and I am going to take him away from you! Can you hear me? She tells David, I’m coming up to get you. David tries to tell her not to, but Maggie says scornfully, Quentin doesn’t have the courage to stop me. You don’t belong with him--you belong with your family and me. Now near the top of the stairs, Maggie reaches out her hand and tells David to come to her. David looks back one more time, then makes almost a flying leap into Maggie’s arms. She croons his name. Holding him tight, she tells him, There’s one more thing you have to do before you can leave--you must send Quentin away. I can’t! David protests, petrified, but Maggie insists, You’ll never be free otherwise. David turns to look at the landing door. It slams shut. David collapses into Maggie’s arms. Maggie misinterprets this as she croons with relief and gratitude, David! We’ve won! --but then to her horror David slumps unconscious on the stairs.

Stokes and Julia watch--Julia with great apprehension--as Barnabas throws the wands. He gets the 49th hexagram, the hexagram of change--and the one that almost everyone else in the show will get too. Julia is horrified as he mutters about "moving toward the coffin......"

Ned fishes in his pocket for cash to pay Julia, who tells him frostily that she'll send a bill. After she and Barnabas leave, Ned asks Sabrina, What did you remember? Please tell me! he begs her as he takes her hand and presses it against his face. I know it had to do with Chris, that night! Even though he nearly pulls her wig off as he caresses her face rather violently and pleads with her, she simply stares up at the ceiling.

Barn and Julia argue at the Old House. We’ve been shielding a werewolf, Julia winds up, even though she herself has done far worse in shielding a vampire. Are you afraid? Barnabas asks. We haven’t been able to help Chris, Julia points out. You were more patient when you were helping me, Barnabas recalls. [You just don’t get it, Barn!] I said I’d see Chris through this, he vows. I don’t know how we are going to end that curse, but I will do it--with or without your help, he adds. I understand, Julia says quietly as she gazes at him with an emotion that any other man would instantly acknowledge. But at least  Barnabas knows he will have her help. We must find a way to stop Sabrina from telling her brother, he declares.

It's taken Ned two years to figure it out, but he finally realizes that Sabrina has been protecting Chris. The poor girl takes one look at herself in the mirror and screams.

It’s 5:25 a.m. by the desk clock at the Old House. Barnabas and Julia have stayed up all night. It’s nearly dawn, Julia says wearily, time to go to the mausoleum--without a solution, she laments. How far fetched all our scheming is! There’s no solution for Chris, she says in frustration. There must be a solution! Barnabas insists. Julia says, We'll let him out and hope he'll get through another day before being found out. Barnabas says, Every time we talk, I feel there's more of a connection between Collinwood and Chris. I don't know what's happening there, either, Julia remarks. Why did the ghosts want the children? Why did they get everyone out of the house? I saw Stokes and Roger, she reports. They had a séance there [the first one unseen by us] and tried to contact the ghost, but all they heard was his laughter. Barnabas says, We must tell Chris about Sabrina and the cane. Otherwise, he'll have to spend his days waiting for the phone to ring, a knock at the door.... He can’t live with that kind of tension, Julia protests, no one can. People do, Julia, Barnabas answers, more than you realize. [But I’m sure he knows that she does realize and that he’s referring to himself as much as to Chris.] I think I should tell Chris, Julia decides. Barnabas suggests, Perhaps Chris himself will have an idea about how to handle this.

But when Barn and Julia open the secret panel after sunrise, the werewolf snarls and growls (and is still shorter than when he’s Chris) even though it’s daylight.

MT, Episode 700 will be our last sight of 1969 for quite a long time.