Hey gang,

Did you notice in yesterday's episode, when Adam and Leona Eltridge entered the Old House and started to walk up the stairway to Josette's room, that, at one point, they just stopped on the stairs?  

I once observed Willie Loomis charge up the stairs to find Barnabas, only to obviously stop after about ten footsteps up the stairway.  Of course, in a house as large as the Old House, the stairway has to have more steps than that.

A future episode from the Parallel Time 1970 story line provides the solution to this oddity.  In one episode, Carolyn or Will Loomis comes charging out of the Old House basement.  The cameraman inadvertently swings the camera from the iron door of the basement to the foyer of the Old House.  There, but only for a brief moment or two, we get to see that the stairway just ends, with no access to the second floor.  

I believe there is also a photograph of David Selby standing at the top of the stairway that "leads to nowhere."  I wonder if any of the DS actors ever charged too quickly up that faux stairway, nearly flying off the top step?

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender    

Hey gang,

Oh, the stories that the medical staff at Wyndcliff could tell!  Ah, I suppose that we can only speculate.

Bob the Bartender, who endeavors every day to keep his mind out of the gutter (and it's a struggle, what with being a fan of Dark Shadows!)

Right on, Connie!

Hey gang,

We all know that Adam hasn't exactly been the most popular guy in Collinsport lately.  However, I like that kelly green turtleneck sweater that the big guy's been wearing.  

All Adam needs now is a green derby (also, the name of a great Irish bar/restaurant on the upper East side of Manhattan.  BTW, love the cottage pie and Guinness on tap!), a button pinned on Adam's sweater saying: "Kiss Me I'm Irish!," and, finally, Adam breaking out into song, intoning Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares To You!"

Erin Go Bragh!

Bob the Bartender, whose all-time favorite flick is "Darby O'Gill And The Little People."

Dear Raineypark,

Without spoiling the upcoming 1897 plot line, try to think of Carl Collins (as portrayed by the pride of Red Hook, Mr. John Karlen) as a Dark Shadows amalgam of, say, Henny Youngman, Rip Taylor and Pee Wee Herman all rolled up into one.

Bob the Bartender, president of the Skiles and Henderson Fan Club.

How about either that Col. Klink-like monocle of Prof. Stokes in the middle of a crop circle or the good professor's Sicilian talisman (with the accompanying Italian incantation) which, incidentally, Barnabas never returned to Stokes?  (You can't lend that man anything!)

Of course, a representation of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle would be the immortal Buzz Hackett's crop circle.

And, how about a "whoopee cushion" crop circle for the irrepressible Carl Collins?

Barnabas frequently clasps his hands together in front of his midsection (like he's an NFL referee signaling for a penalty).

Of course, when she's in fear of imminent danger, Julia Hoffman often throws up her arms, with her hands wide open, while squinting her eyes and opening her mouth wide open.  ("Oh, Barnabas, where are you!?!")

My favorite Julia Hoffman line is that question she often asks in that wonderfully authoritative tone of hers: "Jeff, What are you doing here?"  Or, as PT Ms. Hoffman to Mrs. Stoddard: "What are you doing in this room?" (in Angelique Stokes-Collins' room).