Dear Vam,

Three more melodies come to mind:

Bramwell Collins to Morgan Collins (RE: Catherine Harridge) - She's Rather Be With Me (The Turtles a/k/a Flo and Eddie)

Jeremy Grimes  (same as Q. Collins and N. Blair) - You're So Vain (Carly Simon) or I Feel Pretty (from the play
West Side Story)

Roger Collins to Elizabeth Stoddard - What Do The Common Folk Do? (from the play Camelot)

Bob the Bartender, former understudy to Bill Macy in the Broadway classic, Oh, Calcutta!

Dear Vam and Ben,

Yes, our zany music box melodies would be a worthwhile topic of discussion for Dark Shadows fans at one of the upcoming festivals.  I think that the irrepressible Roger Davis would be the perfect moderator for this  'uninhibited" discussion.

Ben, In addition to the Cheers theme, would you please play for me, the theme song for my favorite show (after Dark Shadows), the one and only Gilligan's Island: "With Gilligan, the Skipper too, the millionare and his wife, the movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle."  (6:00 PM - EST on TV Land is "must see tv" for me every weeknight!)

By the way, Woody Allen once said that Richard Nixon decided to run for the presidency in 1968, the same year that Gilligan's Island was cancelled.  Was there some connection, Mr. Allen mused?  

Here's another zany music box melody suggestion:

Maggie Evans Collins to her abusive PT husband, Quentin Collins  - Don't Talk (Natalie Merchant, formerly of 10,000 Maniacs)

Dear Vam,

Here are a couple more zany music box melodies that dawned on me as I drove out of Atlantic City onto the beautiful Garden State Parkway:

Julia Hoffman to Barnabas Collins - Constant Craving (K.D. Lang)

John Yeager to Maggie Evans Collins - Anticipation (Carly Simon)

Here's one that can apply to two JD's with varying connections to Dark shadows:

(1) Tony Peterson to Carolyn Stoddard, and
(2) Ben to Katherine Leigh Scott - *Lawyers in Love (Jackson Browne)

*(I would also like to include those two honorary JD's: Gerard and Ringo in number (2) as well.

Bob the Bartender, winner of the Coach from "Cheers" lookalike contest.

Vam,

Thanks for the kind words.  Here's one more I just thought of:

Professor T. Elliot Stokes to Madame Findley - Light My Fire (Jose Feliciano as interpreted by Jim Morrison and the Doors)

I can just see the learned Stokes intoning to the alluring Madame Findley, "Come on baby, light my fire, trying to set the night on fire..."

Bob the Bartender, who does not believe in Martians, but is not quite sure about the existence of the Leprechauns.  

Vam,

Here are a couple of off-the-cuff ideas for music box songs:

Quentin Collins - You're So Vain (Carly Simon)

Magda Racosi to Sandor Racosi - Close To You (The Carpenters)

The Eagle Hill Cemetery Caretaker - Just A Gigolo
(Louis Prima)

Nicholas Blair - See Quentin Collins above

Dirk Wilkins - People Are Strange (Jim  Morrison and the Doors)

Pansy Faye - I Get Around (The Beach Boys)

Rev. Gregory Trask - Harper Valley, PTA (Jeannie C. Riley)

Gerard Stiles- Positively Fourth Street (The "Man" a/k/a Bob Dylan)

"Buzz" Hackett - Take This Job And Shove It - (Johnny Paycheck)

Roger Collins to Cassandra Blair - I Get A Kick Out Of You (Cole Porter as interpreted by F. Sinatra)

Abigail Collins - Beast of Burden (Mick Jagger, Keith Richard and the Stones)

Barnabas Collins to Josette DuPre - Got To Get You Into My Life (John Lennon, Sir Paul McCartney plus George and Ringo of You-Know-Who!)


Bob the Bartender, President of the Slim Whitman Fan Club

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

How about this title:

      Cocktail Man - the Unauthorized Biography of Robert Rooney by Ezra Braithewaite

        This book exposes all of the choice morsels of gossip that Mr. Rooney has amassed over the years, as Collinsport's most popular bartender:

         Who is the real father of young David Collins, heir to the Collins fortune?

          Why did Mrs. Stoddard suddenly leave town nearly twenty years ago.  Was it really just to "visit" relatives in New York?

           When Sheriff Paterson flies out to Las Vegas for that annual law police chiefs' convention, who is that lady he registers with at the hotel as "Mrs. Patterson"?  (The real Mrs. Patterson, back home, would certainly like to know.)  Does the sheriff really wear a toupee when he hits the gaming tables?

            Why hasn't Professor T. Elliot Stokes spoken to his sister, Hannah, in over ten years?  Does it have something to do with the professor's questionable disposition of the Stokes family fortune?

              Are the Collinsport docks becoming New England's equivalent of Eighth Avenue and 42nd Street or Wilshire Boulevard on a "busy" Friday night?  And why has Harry Johnson been seen driving around in a souped-up Cadillac, and dressed ostentatiously, like Ron O'Neal in the film "Super Fly"?

These and other sordid matters will be disclosed in Cocktail Man - soon to be made into a major motion picture starring Tom Cruise as the omniscient bartender.  Reserve your copy now!!!

             

               

         

Dear RaineyPark,

On the contrary, I believe that the late, great "King" Johnny Romano hailed from the south side of Palermo.

Bob the Bartender, who empathizes with Ringo's case of "agita."

How about Max Klinger vs. Magda Racosi?