Dear Julia99,

I like that scene in the flick when John Huston is apparently shooting Sue Lyon and Richard Burton in the water, from a boat looking onto the shore.  We see a frantic (not to mention jealous) Ms. Fellows crying and screaming for Ms. Lyons' character to come out of the water:  "Come back, come back!" she shouts.  Grayson Hall looked as if she were going to say: "Barnabas, come back.  Come back to me, Barnabas!!!"

Bob the Bartender, who thinks that Rev. Shannon should preach the good word to the good folk of Collinsport.

In life, she was the ex-wife of bartender Bob Rooney.  You can imagine Bob's shock when he sees her waltzing around town.

"I thought that I'd never see her again!" Bob probably kvetched to his good buddy, George Paterson.

Wow, there are so many to choose from:

Thayer David - "Rocky 1," "Hawaii 5-0"

Dennis Patrick - "Joe," "All In the Family"

Jerry Lacy - "Play It Again, Sam," "The Rocky Blier Story"

Nancy Barrett - "Bellizare The Cajun"

Anita Bolster - "The Portrait Of Dorian Gray," "Sabotuer"

Isabella Hoopes - "The Taking Of Pelham, One, Two Three"

Kenneth McMillan - "The Pope Of Greenwich Village," "Ragtime," "Blood Brothers," "Moonchildren" (off-Broadway), "Salem's Lot"

Bob O'Connell - "Bananas," "Love Story"

Addison Powell - "Three Days Of The Condor"

Roger Davis - "Nashville Girl,"  "The New Hardy
Boys," "The Gallant Men"

KLS - "The Last Days Of Patton," "Legacy," "Come Die With Me," "The Great Gatsby," "Hawii 5-0," "Magnum, PI"

Hey gang,

Was it me misinterpreting the situation, but when Eve said to Jeff, "Let me put my arms around you and kiss you so that you'll remember me," it did NOT look as if Collinsport's most perfectly-coiffed bachelor was making any attempt to spurn Eve's advances.

And, can you imagine what Roger must have been thinking as he witnessed Jeff and Eve "swapping spit," so to speak?  "Now I know why that young rapscallion turned down that job training seminar in Boston several weeks ago!"

Heck, Roger must have come to the conclusion that Jeff must be a Frenchman at heart, with a decidedly "continental" attitude about maintaining both a young, new wife AND a mistress on the side!

It couldn't have been very enjoyable for Roger to see Jeff succeed with so many women.  The poor guy is probably still walking the floors over his recent failed marriage with Cassandra.  Roger must be thinking: "Okay, Jeff is younger than me and has a thicker head of hair than I do.  But, in comparison to Jeff, I'm a man of superior wealth, culture and breeding.  That stunning, raven-haired beauty should be attracted to a man of my position, not some young cad like Clark!"

I tell you, Roger looked so sad and alone in that big, king-sized bed of his.  (They should have been playing Martha and the Motels' song, "Only the Lonely Can Play.") I don't think that he would be dreaming about Vicky's upcoming wedding.  No!  Roger would be dreaming of some of the sweet nothings that Eve (if she only knew him) would say to Roger;sweet nothings, such as: "Roger, you were born to share my bed!"

Bob the Bartender, incurable romantic

Hey gang,

Wasn't Burke Devlin a scapegoat for Roger "The Dodger" Collins?  Five years in the slammer for a crime you didn't commit would be enough to embitter anyone, don't you agree?  (Think "Shawshank Redemption.")

Somehow, I don't think that Roger's belated admission of guilt would be enough to assuage the hot-tempered Mr. Devlin.

Bob the Bartender, who wonders if Burke Devlin (had he not gone down in that jet plane in Brazil) would have foregone any acts of vengeance against Roger, a la Vito Corleone?

Hey gang,

Seeing a somewhat "perturbed" Joe Haskell stretched out on Josette's bed today, got me to thinking about all of the people we saw catching forty winks on that particular bed.  (Isn't it ironic that Ms. Josette, herself, never made it to the "sacred" bed, with or without Barnabas?)

Let's see Maggie Evans and Vicky Winters both placed their lovely heads upon Josette's pillows on that bed.  And, of course, Leona Eltredge plopped her curvaceous tuches on Josette's bed for a quick rest before she acted as the life-force in the second so-called Eve experiment.

Can you think of any other Dark Shadows characters who may have "parked their carcass" on Barnabas and Josette's intended marital bed during the four-and-one-half year run of the show?

Bob the Bartender, who, like Gloria Klein of Kleinsleep Mattresses, hopes that you all "have more fun in bed!"

Dear Mysterious Benefactor,

You say that Steve, the Dell Computer Kid, is going to be seen even more frequently now, doing commercials for other peripheral equipment?  George Orwell was right:

       BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING!!!


"Dr. Watson, get me the needle, PLEASE!!!"


Bob the Bartender, who longs for the days of the lonely Maytag Repair Man and Rosie and her "Quicker-Picker-Upper" Bounty Paper Towels.

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,


(Here's a poll that I think I already know what the final outcome will be.)  Do you find Jeff Clark, with his seemingly perpetually angst-ridden, hair-grasping, and petulant "schtick" more annoying?  Or, like yours truly, are you absolutely sick and tired of seeing that geeky twenty-something with the seemingly unending leering smile on his kisser in those ubiquitous Dell Computer TV commercials?  (I tell you, I almost threw my cherished autographed Tom Seaver baseball at that blonde-haired nerd the other night!)

Incidentally, in defense of Jeff Clark's hair-grasping, I believe that Jeff is merely emulating the late, great Rod Steiger.  If you've ever seen the gritty film classic "On The Waterfront," (and I just know that you all have!), Mr. Steiger is seen to grab both his face and the hair on the sides of his head in that famous cab scene with Marlon Brando (or "Mr. Mumbles" as Frank Sinatra once described him).

Perhaps you've seen that other 1950's film, in which Mr. Steiger plays a condemned prisoner who crash lands with several other airline passengers in the Amazon jungle.  (I can't quite remember the flick's name, but it's on AMC quite often.)  Anyway, Mr. Steiger (who has the only gun) has to decide which passengers can take off in the damaged airliner to safety, and which passengers will stay behind with him to face certain, horrible death at the hands of the native head-hunters.

Well, it is a real tour de force for Mr. Steiger as he wrestles with the awful question of just who should live and who should be left to die.  I believe that Mr. Steiger takes a full minute, grasping his face and the hair on the top of his head (with no hat on this time!) before he arrives at his momentous decision.  I have believe that Roger Davis (Jeff Clark/Peter Bradford) had to be influenced by this brilliant dramatic actor.

By the way, I also believe that Mr. Steiger influenced another young and upcoming actor, John Travolta with his hair/head grasping routine as Vinnie Barbarino in "Welcome Back, Kotter." Surely you remember the great line, "I'm so confused!" by the greatest member of "The Sweathogs"?

So, while I'm sure that most of you will opt to give thumbs-down to Jeff Clark, I'll give the "Sicilian Salute" to that creepy Dell computer kid.

Bah Humbug!

Bob the Bartender, who still gets chills from Mr. Steiger's performance as that truly angst-ridden priest in "The Amityville Horror."