He should have have a bathroom...

There's Willie, working all day, and Julia, she's at your house quite alot.  Come on Barnabas, give them a break.

I second TERRY308's practical (yet, extremely all-important) suggestion.  You know, it's one thing if Barnabas is currently one of the "living dead," schnoozing comfortably (and "undisturbed") in that coffin all day.  However, during the not infrequent times that Mr. B. is "mortal," well... he must hate like hell to have to get up in the middle of the night to observe nature's call, schlepping out to that outhouse behind the Old House.

And, let's face it, neither the mortal Barnabas nor Willie Loomis are getting any younger.  So, their nocturnal "trips" are undoubtedly going to become more and more frequent with the passage of the years, IMHO.


Bao the Bartender, who says, that you can never have enough "johns" in the morning (or, for that matter, in the middle of the night!).
 

Sorry to disappoint, Bob.....but unless the gang shows up on an episode of "If Walls Could Talk" or perhaps "Divine Design" on the Home and Garden Channel, the chances of me catching them is slim to none.....

Barnabas: Heliotrope, damn it!! I said Heliotrope!!! Can't you tell the difference between Heliotrope and Lavender?

Quentin: Perhaps not, but I can tell the difference between Art Noveau and Arts and Crafts, you dilettant!!

 

Raineypark,

Well, when I'm not enjoying the latest eisode of "The Division" on the Lifetime Channel, I must admit that I enjoy watching "You're Home!," on the H & G Channel.

In fact, I would have liked to have seen the show's wonderful host, Kitty Bartholomew (sp?), (who's, always sporting that lovely and lustrous Lily Munster-like black and grey streaked hair of hers,) take a tour of the late PT Timothy Stokes house on her show.

Just consider how Kitty would have been greatly impressed by Mr. Stokes' eclectic collection of such intriguing curios as that American Indian figure, affixed to the door leading into Roxanne Drew's secret "sleeping" chamber?  (Where the heck do you think Timothy got that thing?  Probably at one of those tacky gift shops on the Atlantic City boardwalk, IMHO.)

Or, how about that truly ugly-arsed, chimerical gargoyle that Timothy had displayed so prominently on his living room table?  I tell you, if I woke up in the middle of the night to make a "pit stop," and saw that darned thing in the middle of the room immediately after flicking the light on, I might not safely make it into the "water closet," if you get my drift!

Bob the Bartender, President of the Cindy Piccoli Fan Club! 

Dear Ms. Blair,

Well, since Dark Shadows is now on "hiatus," I'v set my vcr (at ep speed, of course!) to record some of the other new daytime shows.

And, let me tell you how much I'm enjoying watching Regis Philpin's new competitors, Alexandra Wentworth and Jack Ford on "Living It Up!"  (Although, by the ratings, it would appear that I'm one of the few people people in the United States actually "living it up" with Mrs. George Stepanopoulos and the former Fordham Law School professor!)

By the way, how do you think that the host of the highly prestigious ABC Sunday morning national public affairs program really feels about his comely wife shaking her booty and trying to act like the second coming of Lucy Ricardo on a nationally syndicated talk show?  (Me-thinks, that the former Clinton White House advisor is none-too-pleased about his wife's "kvelling" on television.)

I do hope that "Living It Up" does remain on the air.  In a quick ratings grabber, maybe Ali and Jack could have Jonathan Frid, KLS, David Selby, Lara Parker, John Karlen, etc., as guests on the show?  Heck, I know for sure that they'd get Raineypark, Gerard, CastleBee, RobinV, Birdie and yours truly (among so many others), as regular viewers for as long as they strolled down Dark Shadows memory lane!  (Who knows?  Maybe Jack Ford watched Dark Shadows religiously while he was in college?)

Well, please excuse me now.  There's a particularly exciting episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" coming on, and I have to set my vcr , so I don't miss a single minute of this truly compelling and important TV show!

Bob the Bartender, TV-Land addict!!!   

RobinV,

While I certainly hope that the Sci-Fi Channel Powers-That-Be decide to keep airing Dark Shadows forever, I'm not particularly sanguine about the prospects of another full-run of the much beloved program.

And, I can't begin to express to you, how shattered I was when the Sci-Fi Channel pulled the plug on "Lost In Space" and "Sightings."  I tell you, they just about ripped my heart out with those two, callous cancellations!  How I miss seeing "Sightings" host Tim White deliver his insightful observations on the world of the supernatural and the unexplained with such eloquence and solemnity, while looking oh-so-cool in those nifty Bernini suits of his!

Bob the Bartender   

Hey gang,

One aspect of Dark Shadows that I've always enjoyed is the interaction between the lordly Collinses and the "common-folk" staff of the great house of Collinwood.  In fact, Dark Shadows presented this intriguing "upstairs, downstairs" dichotomy between the rich and the poor a number of years before Eileen Atkins and Jean Marsh originated the superb "Upstairs, Downstairs" BBC series.

It's been great fun to see the hired help cope with life while serving under the high-and-mighty Collins family.  From the 1960s' crabby (but lovable) Mrs. Sarah Johnson and her ne'er-do-well son, Harry, the sociopathic Morgan Morgan and the lovely and gentle governess Vicky Winters (also Vicky's successor, waitress-turned-teacher Maggie Evans) to 1797's gruff (but extremely loyal and good-hearted) Ben Stokes, the cunning and beautiful Angelique Bouchard, and once again, the ingenuous Victoria Winters, they've all been such engrossing and wonderfully fleshed-out characters.  (Of course, Barnabas' servant/handy man, Willie Loomis, is Dark Shadows' "man for all seasons," imho.)

And, let's not forget 1897's comely and kindly chambermaid, Beth Chavez, the thoroughly wacked-out head groundskeeper, Dirk Wilkins or Barnabas' two incorrigible but always likable Old House servants, Magda and Sandor Racosi (the original 19th century grifters!).

I suppose in appreciation of all of these "regular folk," I'm somewhat disappointed that we do not get to see more of the ill-fated 1840 housemaid, Hortense (O'Hearn?).  In fact, I believe that Hortense may be the only member of the 1840 Collinwood house staff whom we get to see during this storyline.

In the brief time that we get to see Hortense, with that seemingly perpetually tremulous facial expression of hers, Hortense sort of reminds me of Dark Shadows' answer to Deputy Barney Fife!  I, for one, would have liked to have seen Hortense continue as Samantha Collins' faithful servant (much like PT Angelique's eternally loyal "Miss" Julia Hoffman).

Perhaps, we might of learned about how Hortense and her family boarded a ship in Limerick harbor to come to America (Boston, most likely), in an attempt to escape the despair and poverty of the soon-to-be famine-ravaged Ireland.  No doubt, Hortense must have been extremely grateful to secure even the humble position of Collinwood housemaid as she she strove to achieve/discover, what Vito Corleone so accurately described to Americo Bonasera, (as finding) "America to be a paradise."

Oh well, Hortense joins that pantheon of relatively short-lived Dark Shadows characters (along with Sheriff George Paterson, Buzz Hackett, Portia Fitzsimmons, "King" Johnny Romano, Buffie Harrington and a certain ubiquitous and silent saloon keeper) who we never really get to learn much about on the show.  C'est la vie!

Bob the Bartender

Gee, Bob....I thought you were kidding!....until I mentioned your "recipe" to my husband (who's famous in the neighborhood for owning every tool known to man AND knowing exactly how to use it) and he said "Pepsi......yep, that'll do it!"

Yeah, I remember my father telling me that car mechanics used to pour Pepsi Cola on old, rusty car bumpers to help get the rust off of them, and also on to rusty, troublesome car license plate screws, that were difficult to open.  Pour on that Pepsi and it's goodbye rust!  (Imagine what that "soft drink" is doing to your digestive system when you imbibe it?)

Bob the Bartender, former member of the Pepsi generation.

Hey gang,

I found it fascinating to see Desmond Collins (with the help of his cousin, Gabriel) unravel the mystery/riddle of how to locate the entrance to Judah Zachary's hidden underground tomb in Gallow's Hill Cemetery today.

And, you just had to be very impressed at how easily the mechanical release to the tomb worked, when Desmond pulled it out from the gravestone.  Let's not forget that, in all likelihood, no one has entered the underground tomb in nearly forty years.  Yet, the tomb's mechanical release worked as flawlessly as the well-oiled parts of a state-of-the-art bank vault.

I tell you, the artisans/satanic cultists who designed and built Judah Zachary's tomb were as ingenious as the ancient Egyptian engineers who designed and built King Tut's tomb, IMHO.  In fact, I'll even go so far as to say that JZ's artisans/followers could have taught Steve, Norm, Tom Silva and the rest of the guys on "This Old House," a thing or two about home construction and repair!

What especially impresses me about the superb craftsmanship of these 19th century artisans/satanists, is how well everything they constructed works, in comparison to my own contemporary, trial-and-error attempts to fix mechanical devices.

For example, have you ever tried to open the lock on your backyard storage shed after a particularly cold and wet (read: snowy and icy) winter?  The darned thing is so rusted up that it just won't open!  You try Lock-Ease and WD-40 on the both the lock and the key, and the pain-in-the-arse thing still won't open.  Hopefully, you remember your mechanically-inclined grandpa's old, tried-and-true remedy of pouring both Heinz Ketchup and Pepsi Cola (never Coca Cola!) on that pesky lock and...presto chango, that darned Yale of Master lock opens up like the proverbial charm!!!

You know, maybe that's the secret after all?  Maybe Otis Green was making secret, periodic trips to Gallows Hill Cemetery over the years, and pouring Heinz Ketchup and Pepsi Cola on all of those gears and moving parts of Judah Zachary's place of "interment"?

Come to think of it, considering how easily that chain release came out of that lion's head in the Collins Family Mausoleum, when Willie Loomis pulled on it (for probably the first time in nearly 170 years) in 1967, maybe somebody was routinely performing a "lube job" of Three-In-One-Oil and/or Pepsi Cola on the moving parts of Barnabas' final and secret "resting" place?

I wonder just who was performing that "preventative maintenance" on Mr. B.'s secret room during all of those 170 years....Ben, Magda, Matthew Morgan?  I guess we'll never really know, will we?

Bob the Bartender, who's definitely NOT a "Mr. Fix-It" himself!

     

I wonder if because KLS was departing for Paris to be with her future husband for an indefinite period of time was, in fact, the final nail in the coffin (please pardon the extremely poor pun) of the Barnabas and Josette story line, as far as Dan Curtis & company were concerned?