Hey, gang,
When I heard the news this morning that someone in the great state of Maine had won last night’s Mega Millions lottery prize of $1.35 Billion Dollars last night, I immediately wondered if “you-know-who” had bought the winning ticket in Collinsport?
No doubt, many of the residents of the quaint and charming fishing village of Collinsport, Maine were/are faithful lottery players. I could see Mrs. Sarah Johnson, Sheriff George Patterson, Bob Rooney, Susie, the silent waitress, Willie Loomis, the Eagle Bill Cemetery Caretaker, Professor T. Elliott Stokes, Collinsport undertaker Mr. Jaret and, even the usually iconoclastic Buzz Hackett queuing up for a chance to win a prize that only requires a dollar (actually two dollars) and a dream!
Yet, I wonder if the reclusive Barnabas Collins employed his knowledge of such arcane and esoteric subjects as the “secret number of the universe” to provide him with the Mega Millions’ winning numbers? And, what would the wise and introspective, former (?) vampire spend his lottery winnings on? Would Barnabas make a substantial contribution to his good friend, Professor T. Elliott Stokes’ unnamed university, specifically an endowment to fund an expanded department on the study of the paranormal, including witchcraft, the concept of Parallel Time and the ancient Chinese divination practice of the I-Ching?
Would Barnabas invest in the popular Brewster’s’ Department Store in Collinsport, with a new line of men’s clothes and accessories, featuring Inverness coats, black onyx rings and extremely stylish men’s silver wolf’s head walking canes?
Or, would Barnabas finally decide to renovate and modernize the Old House by paying the expert craftsmen from the PBS series, “This Old House,” very handsomely, indeed, to transform the Old House into an incredibly stately home, which Stephen King, Elon Musk or even Taylor Swift would like to live in at Collinsport’s sister city, the toney and very upscale Bar Harbor,
Maine?
Yes, Barnabas could now be living “la dolce vita” (the sweet life) if he lucked out last night by winning the Mega
Millions lottery prize. When you got it, flaunt it, Barnabas, baby!!!