Do You Think Barnabas Was/Is on Medicare?

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey gang,

Since most of us “Dark Shadows kiddies” (as the late, great Louis Edmonds once nicknamed us), are now sexagenarians or even older, I wonder if Barnabas and the other DS characters signed up for our nation’s healthcare program?

When you think of it, Barnabas was already 172-years-old in 1967, well over the minimum age for Medicare membership, when the avaricious Willie Loomis released Barnabas from his chained coffin. Yet, don’t you think Mr. B. Would have a hard time establishing his age with the good people at the Social Security System? And,  besides, after introducing himself to Mrs. Stoddard and the rest of the Collins family as a member of “the British branch of the Collins family, could Barnabas enroll in Medicare as a resident
 alien?

Let’s say Barnabas could establish his credentials with the Social Security System, do you think Barnabas would settle on just Parts A and B on Medicare or would the shrewd and savvy Barnabas opt for Prescription Parts C and D with Medicare? I don’t know, but considering Barnabas’s longtime relationship with Dr. Julia Hoffman AND Julia’s status as the “world’s most persistent house guest at the great house of Collinwood, maybe Julia kept Barnabas and the rest of the Collinses, well-supplied with any needed drugs/prescriptions from Julia’s private hospital, Windcliff?

And, maybe Barnabas could supplement his retirement income by becoming a paid spokesman for supplemental Medicare prescription plans like former New York Jets quarterback, Joe “Willie” Namath and Jimmy “Dy-No-Mite” Walker?

I can see it now, Barnabas attired in his three- piece Brooks Brothers suit and Inverness coat and brandishing his Uber-cool wolf’s head cane, saying from the Old House drawing room, “Friends, this is Barnabas Collins of Collinsport, Maine, here to urge you all to take full advantage of Medicare’s benefits, as I did when I became eligible for Medicare membership back in 1966. Don’t miss out on any of Medicare’s extensive benefits, like I did to get free dental work on my rather long incisor teeth, regular eye checkups, so that I could still read the I-Ching wands at my advanced age and help with the inevitable “bladder problems,” that a person of a “certain age” is bound to experience with the passing of the years.

So don’t delay and call the number on your tv screen so that our extremely friendly and helpful agents,
including my good friends Mr. Buzz Hackett and Mr. Bob Rooney, can help get on your way to receiving full medical coverage and so many wonderful benefits. Call right now,  before ‘Jeopardy’ and ‘Matlock’ come on.” 

[Gerard]

As someone who is now in the Medicare ranks for just a few months (and really lucked out with excellent A,B and D plans - my prescription meds, and I take a lot, cost me only six bucks a month, and my deductible for medical is only five bucks and loose change), I don't think any of the Collinses were of qualifying age back when it kicked in, ironically around the time DS started.  Liz was, in 1966, only 49 (per her birthdate recorded in the family bible).  Roger was about eight years younger.  As for Barnabas, although he was well over a century old, he was just around 40ish when he got vamped and coffined.  None would be eligible until starting in the early '80's.  What would be of interest is how exactly did they pay their SS and Medicare taxes?  Did they do some sort of withholding through the fishing/cannery business, or did they send in a check every three months to Uncle Sam?  And how did they do it with Matthew Morgan's and Sara Johnson's paychecks?

Gerard

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Gerard,

Yes, Elizabeth, Roger, Mrs. Johnson and even Professor Stokes were all probably too young to enroll in Medicare during DS’s original run. However, I suppose that Judge Crathorne, Ezra Braithwaite and the venerable (and unnamed) Eagle Hill Cemetery caretaker were all age-eligible to take advantage of Medicare back then.

Of course, if the then-relatively new United States of America did have Medicare coverage available in 1797, I think that both Joshua Collins and the bodacious Bathia Mapes would have been able to sign-up for what turned out to be future POTUS Lyndon Johnson’s greatest legislative success. 

[Uncle Roger]

Interesting topic, Bob. I don't know if Elizabeth would have been considered eligible for Medicare, as she didn't have the necessary work history. Same with Barnabas, I suppose. Roger, Sheriff Patterson, Professor Stokes, Julia, Joe Haskell and some of the other gainfully employed would have likely had future eligibility, provided that they lived that long. Small business owners like Megan and Philip could have coverage but, because they weren't part of a large group, would probably be paying a much higher premium. Not sure about Maggie and Mrs. Johnson, though they might be tied in with the cannery workers.
Julia, Windcliff and the Collinsport Hospital would definitely be considered reputable (more or less) but I can't help thinking that some of Eric Lang's more outlandish behavior would have caused him to possibly loose his accreditation. If not, his license.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Uncle Roger,

I wonder if Quentin Collins could have been accumulating credit from the Social Security Administration for all of the jobs he presumably toiled at during the the 72 years between 1897 and 1969, when “Grant Douglas” showed up in Collinsport?

Matthew Morgan must have been owed a decent monthly allotment from the SSA for all of his years as a faithful Collinsport Cannery employee and, later, as the Collinwood handyman/factotum. Too bad ol’ Matthew didn’t stick around long enough to collect his monthly check and use his Medicare benefits to see Doctors Woodard and Lang for annual check-ups.

By the way, I wonder if Angelique, Nicholas Blair and Diabolos had some comparable SSA and Medicare benefits as employees of Beelzebub down “below”?

[McTrooper]

I would imagine at some point Barnabas would have gotten forged paperwork and opted to be a US citizen just to have fewer hoops to jump through. 

He might have done (or had done for him) some money laundering related to his jewels too.  Perhaps paying himself through a company that only existed on paper. 

I imagine all the characters would signup just in case they loose there riches.  Thought I doubt Barnabas was thoughtful for Willie’s work info, not that his previous drifter con artist stuff helps much either.

Out of all the characters he’d have the hardest time getting Medicare.