Re: 1970PT, Birdie & Today’s DS Photos

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Hey gang,

Today’s photos of the 1970PT storyline reminded me of a thread posted by the long-too-absent Birdie concerning those fascinating glimpses into that parallel band of time.

As the Leviathan storyline was winding down, we saw Barnabas searching the abandoned East Wing in an attempt to locate the vampiric Megan Todd’s hiding place. As he opened a double door there, he was shocked to see a brilliantly lit room with opulent furnishings. Initially, Barnabas witnessed Elizabeth Stoddard and an unusually attired Julia Hoffman, squabbling over some domestic matter concerning Angelique. After Barnabas showed the room to a perplexed Dr. Hoffman, Mrs. Stoddard and Roger also observed the room and its familiar, yet strangely different inhabitants, which disturbed Elizabeth and Roger greatly.

Professor Stokes described this phenomenon as an actual example of the theory of parallel time, where similar people were leading completely different lives in parallel bands of time. Barnabas, once again a vampire, “courtesy” of Jeb Hawkes, thought that by entering this other band of time, he might be freed of the vampire curse. (We all know how “well” that worked out for Barnabas, but I digress.)

Instead of reacting with fear and uncertainty over the discovery of this vista into parallel time, Birdie suggested that the residents of Collinwood should have reveled in its existence, even enjoying these glimpses of themselves leading completely different lives. Birdie thought that Elizabeth, Roger and the rest of the family could sit there in that East Room doorway and observe the nightly (or daytime) tableau, as if it were a different dramatic or comedic presentation for their personal enjoyment.

I thought this was a brilliant suggestion and concept by Birdie. I could see Elizabeth and Roger, setting up Lazy Boy Recliners at the doorway, with Mrs. Johnson bringing up snack trays filled with potato chips and Jiffy-Pop-Popcorn aling with drinks (Diet Coke for Mrs. Stoddard and snifters of brandy for Roger, of course).

I venture to say that sitting there, in anticipation for that night’s “performance,” would be just like attending the opening of a Broadway play or the premiere of a much-anticipated film, like “North-by-Northwest” or “The Godfather.” I could see Roger, sitting in his extremely comfortable Lazy Boy Recliner and turning to his sister and saying, “Well, Liz, what do you think tonight’s performance will be: ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf,’ ‘Last Tango in Paris,’ or ‘Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein’?” Ah, the possibilities for dramatic or comedic excellence would be literally endless!

Heck, if the ever-enterprising Jason McGuire were still around in the great house of Collinwood, he might have even suggested to Elizabeth that they could make serious money, by opening up that East Room doorway into Parallel Time to the cash-paying public. It would be like the Belasco Theatre had come to Collinsport, Maine! Maybe Jason could also negotiate a deal with Blue Whale bartender/proprietor Bob Rooney to set up a liquor kiosk for the Collinwood “theatergoers” to enjoy drinks as they took in the dramatic, sometimes whimsical and possibly concupiscent goings-on in that “other” Collinwood. No doubt, the original Reverend Trask would have been absolutely appalled at such a salacious display in a God-fearing community like Collinsport, Maine. (Although, I’m not sure if the Rev. Gregory Trask would have agreed with his distinguished ancestor in his presumptive opinion of the “PT Collinsport Art Players.”)

In conclusion, I want to thank our fellow cousin, Birdie, for her truly inspired vision of what the DS characters should have done in reaction to that amazing discovery in the East Wing of Collinwood. Kudos to you, Birdie!!   

[Uncle Roger]

I can just picture young David hurling spitballs (or worse) at the unsuspecting residents of parallel time, who would never know what hit them!
Or perhaps the great Dan Curtis would have concocted a scenario where David swapped places with his PT counterpart Daniel. A twist on The Prince and The Pauper? Or The Patty Duke Show?
It does seem rather odd that the inhabitant of the room, the lusty Angelique Stokes Collins, would have been ignorant of her own room's unique properties. Just suppose that she was in the midst of "entertaining" Damion Edwards and the room changed. Would they have noticed that they were suddenly in a grubby storage room? Or if she gone into an adjacent powder room to freshen up, only to return to find no trace of her intended paramour? Try talking you way out of that one, buster!

It would have a great tribute to Three's Company!!!!

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Uncle Roger,

Oh, such great possibilities if Dan Curtis had further explored the mysterious world of Parallel Time on DS, kind of like a “Candid Camera Look at Life in the Great House of Collinwood”! David and Daniel switching places, as if the residents of the two Collinwoods weren’t confused enough already! And, I love your idea of a Patty Duke scenario on DS: “And they’re cousins, identical cousins, they look alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike!” Hey, wasn’t DS producer Robert Costello also the producer on Patty Duke’s classic comedy show? He and Dan Curtis should have “borrowed” that winsome concept for DS.

As for PT Angelique being caught “in flagrante delicto” with Dameon Edwards (or possibly Bruno Hess and/or
twenty other guys or so) in that PT room, well, what if poor Mrs. Johnson just happened to be tidying up in the
East Wing and caught a good look at the lascivious goings-on in that den of iniquity? I think that “memorable” sight would have shaken Mrs. Johnson up even more than seeing the ghost of Quentin in Matthew Morgan’s old cottage or even experiencing the dreaded “Dream Curse”! 


And, can you imagine if some of the “Real Time” Collinwood residents got a good look at Dameon’s ugly-@SS
leisure suit? No doubt, Barnabas and Roger would be both appalled at the unbelievable garishness of Dameon’s “slightly” loud suit. Although, recalling “Real Time” Quentin’s own threads, I think the Q-Man would have liked to have gotten the name of Dameon’s personal tailor. 

Alas, we’ll never be able to see any of these wonderful possible DS 1970 Parallel Time scenarios played out in Collinwood. 

[Uncle Roger]

I think that Roger would have directed the fashion challenged Mr. Edwards and directed towards the Johnny Carson line of menswear or, at the very least, Botany 500.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Do you think that Barnabas and Roger purchased their suits at Filene’s Basement in Boston or, if they were in the tri-state area, bought bargain suits at Sy Simms or Mern’s Suits for Men?

I think we know Willie Loomis acquired his “GQ-like” threads from either K-Mart or Marshall’s. 

PS I personally admired those Nehru suits, which Mr. Carson wore on “The Tonight Show.” One time Johnny Carson was teasing band leader Dic Severinsen about the trumpet player’s somewhat flamboyant suit. To which Mr. Severinsen replied, “It’s from my oersinal clothes designer, the very chic ‘Raoul of Bayonne.’

[Uncle Roger]

Perhaps the Collins men bought their suits from the fine folks at Robert Hall. Their jingle (Where the value goes up, up, up.and the prices go down, down, down) was quite the earworm back in the day. The chain went bankrupt in the late 1970's but has been forever immortalized by Deborah Harry in the classic Blondie song Rip Her To Shreds.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Oh,yes, the beloved Robert Hall. Do you remember their Yuletide commercial/jingle:

“We’re doing our Christmas shopping at Robert Hall’s this year!”?

During the 1970s disco years, Robert Hall featured the (NY Met outfielder) Lee Mazzilli Leisure Disco Suit. I still have mine, but that was long ago, when I still had a 30” waist. 

[Uncle Roger]

I had a copper colored leisure suit back then. Mine was from Macy's.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

If DS had continued on into the mid-1970s, we probably would have seen many of the show’s male actors, attired in leisure suits. I can buy Quentin or young David in a leisure suit, but could you imagine Roger, Barnabas or the learned Professor T. Elliott Stokes wearing one of those Tom Snyder-like leisure suits he wore seemingly nightly on “The Tomorrow Show”?

And, don’t get me started on what a fashion faux pas it would have been to see either Bob Rooney or Joe Haskell in one of those God-awful leisure suits! 

[Uncle Roger]

I can see young David rebelling against the status quo of the Collins family and dressing like one of The Ramones. Hallie might have gone in a similar direction and channeled her angst into a New England version of Patti Smith.

[Bob_the_Bartender]

Can you imagine Roger, enjoying some fine brandy and listening to the harmonious sounds of Tony Bennett and K.D. Lang performing a lilting duet together on a top-of-the-line audio system in the Collinwood study, only to be suddenly assaulted by the unrelenting cacophony of The Ramones performing, “Gabba Gabba Hey,” on a stereo system being blasted in his son David’s bedroom? 

And, Hailey Stokes as a Patti Smith girl? I could see Hailey intoning Ms. Smith’s hit song, “Because The Night,” whenever she would think of Gerard’s ghost. (Although, like Vicky/Maggie in the Tim Robbins DS film, maybe Hailey was more of a Karen Carpenter or Anne Murray girl than a punk rocker like Patti Smith.) 

I once saw The Ramones as an opening act at a concert at the Palladium in NYC. Joey Ramone, the group’s lead singer, really looked like Howard Stern, what with the long, dark hair, the tall, thin build and the omnipresent sunglasses, he closely resembled “The King of All Media. Sadly, Joey Ramone died of cancer, when he was only 49-years-old in 2001.

I wonder which musical artists some of the DS characters enjoyed listening to:

Mrs. Johnson - Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and Liberace

Professor Stokes - Maria Callas and Luciano Pavarotti

Nicholas Blair - Judas Priest and Black Sabbath

Barnabas Collins - Roger Whittaker and The Moody Blues

Vicky Winters - Julie Andrews and Wayne Newton

Buzz Hackett - Iggy Pop and Steppenwolf

Maggie Evans - The Turtles and The Mothers of Invention

Angelique - Santana and Sade

Joe Haskell - The Kingston Trio and Oscar Brand

Quentin Collins - Tom Jones and The Bay City Rollers

Carolyn Stoddard - The Jefferson Airplane and The Go-Go’s

Jason McGuire - Sinead O’Connor and The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem

Dr. Julia Hoffman - Peggy Lee and Frank Sinatra

Willie Loomis - Johnny Paycheck and Miles Davis

[Mysterious Benefactor]

If DS had continued on into the mid-1970s, we probably would have seen many of the show’s male actors, attired in leisure suits. I can buy Quentin or young David in a leisure suit, but could you imagine Roger, Barnabas or the learned Professor T. Elliott Stokes

Perish the thought!    I suspect Barnabas would have rather been staked!!

[Mysterious Benefactor]

I wonder which musical artists some of the DS characters enjoyed listening to:

A lot of those might be spot on.