They Must Have Used A Lot Of WD-40 Or Something.

Hey gang,

I found it fascinating to see Desmond Collins (with the help of his cousin, Gabriel) unravel the mystery/riddle of how to locate the entrance to Judah Zachary's hidden underground tomb in Gallow's Hill Cemetery today.

And, you just had to be very impressed at how easily the mechanical release to the tomb worked, when Desmond pulled it out from the gravestone.  Let's not forget that, in all likelihood, no one has entered the underground tomb in nearly forty years.  Yet, the tomb's mechanical release worked as flawlessly as the well-oiled parts of a state-of-the-art bank vault.

I tell you, the artisans/satanic cultists who designed and built Judah Zachary's tomb were as ingenious as the ancient Egyptian engineers who designed and built King Tut's tomb, IMHO.  In fact, I'll even go so far as to say that JZ's artisans/followers could have taught Steve, Norm, Tom Silva and the rest of the guys on "This Old House," a thing or two about home construction and repair!

What especially impresses me about the superb craftsmanship of these 19th century artisans/satanists, is how well everything they constructed works, in comparison to my own contemporary, trial-and-error attempts to fix mechanical devices.

For example, have you ever tried to open the lock on your backyard storage shed after a particularly cold and wet (read: snowy and icy) winter?  The darned thing is so rusted up that it just won't open!  You try Lock-Ease and WD-40 on the both the lock and the key, and the pain-in-the-arse thing still won't open.  Hopefully, you remember your mechanically-inclined grandpa's old, tried-and-true remedy of pouring both Heinz Ketchup and Pepsi Cola (never Coca Cola!) on that pesky lock and...presto chango, that darned Yale of Master lock opens up like the proverbial charm!!!

You know, maybe that's the secret after all?  Maybe Otis Green was making secret, periodic trips to Gallows Hill Cemetery over the years, and pouring Heinz Ketchup and Pepsi Cola on all of those gears and moving parts of Judah Zachary's place of "interment"?

Come to think of it, considering how easily that chain release came out of that lion's head in the Collins Family Mausoleum, when Willie Loomis pulled on it (for probably the first time in nearly 170 years) in 1967, maybe somebody was routinely performing a "lube job" of Three-In-One-Oil and/or Pepsi Cola on the moving parts of Barnabas' final and secret "resting" place?

I wonder just who was performing that "preventative maintenance" on Mr. B.'s secret room during all of those 170 years....Ben, Magda, Matthew Morgan?  I guess we'll never really know, will we?

Bob the Bartender, who's definitely NOT a "Mr. Fix-It" himself!

     

Hopefully, you remember your mechanically-inclined grandpa's old, tried-and-true remedy of pouring both Heinz Ketchup and Pepsi Cola (never Coca Cola!) on that pesky lock and...presto chango, that darned Yale of Master lock opens up like the proverbial charm!!!

Ha!  I'll have to remember that one, Bob - thanks!

c'ya!

Franimal (who's also not a "fix it" person - more the kind that keeps banging at things until they go togther or break!)

Gee, Bob....I thought you were kidding!....until I mentioned your "recipe" to my husband (who's famous in the neighborhood for owning every tool known to man AND knowing exactly how to use it) and he said "Pepsi......yep, that'll do it!"

Gee, Bob....I thought you were kidding!....until I mentioned your "recipe" to my husband (who's famous in the neighborhood for owning every tool known to man AND knowing exactly how to use it) and he said "Pepsi......yep, that'll do it!"

Yeah, I remember my father telling me that car mechanics used to pour Pepsi Cola on old, rusty car bumpers to help get the rust off of them, and also on to rusty, troublesome car license plate screws, that were difficult to open.  Pour on that Pepsi and it's goodbye rust!  (Imagine what that "soft drink" is doing to your digestive system when you imbibe it?)

Bob the Bartender, former member of the Pepsi generation.

Pour on that Pepsi and it's goodbye rust!  (Imagine what that "soft drink" is doing to your digestive system when you imbibe it?) 

Now I know why I drink water only!  LOL!!

But thanks Bob,  I'll keep this in mind the next time I try to get something off that's rusty.

Cassandra

I'll keep this in mind the next time I try to get something off that's rusty.

I'm not even going to touch this one!

Now I know why I drink water only!  LOL!!

But thanks Bob,  I'll keep this in mind the next time I try to get something off that's rusty.

Cassandra,

I'll bet that Gerald Stiles wishes that he some WD-40, Liquid Graphite or even a can of Pepsi Cola to help free himself, metaphorically speaking,  from his now "rusty" romantic relationship/commitment with/to Samantha Collins. (Especially, now that Samantha's no longer the widowed and exclusively wealthy mistress of Collinwood, imho!)

Bob the Bartender, who would have liked to have heard the always acerbic Gabriel Collins regale Gerard with the Beatles' classic hit "Can't Buy Me Love," after Samantha gave Quentin's "best" friend the "joyous" news!

Will caffeine-free Pepsi do?

How 'bout Diet Pepsi Twist?

 ;)Patti

PS...Bob...it was Sarah keeping Barns lock loose.