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Topics - Bob_the_Bartender

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91
Hey gang,

With all of the unusual medical "practices" in Collinsport, Maine, which doctor do you think has to shell out the most for medical malpractice insurance for his or her practice?

Is it Dr. Julia Hoffman, slightly "ethically-wishy-washy" psychiatrist, who dabbles on the side in her practice in an attempt to cure a 171-year-old vampire of his curse, resuscitate a mean-and-nasty 17th century warlock and create a female mate of questionable morality (I might add!) for a male manmade monster, suffering from a severe case of raging hormones...

Or, is it Dr. Eric Lang, surgeon/G.P./mad scientist extraordinare, who also attempts to cure that same vampire of his curse, create a new race of human beings from corpses, and also tries to remove the head of a man with, arguably, Collinsport's most lustrous and perfectly-coiffed head of hair (even more lustrous and perfectly-coiffed than Amanda Harris' stunning locks!)?

I tell you, it would probably been enough for the beloved, longtime Collinsport family physician, Dr. Dave Woodard (a/ka/ "Old Doc Woodard"), to have packed his bags and taken off for somewhere comparatively more tranquil, peaceful and definitely less expensive than Collinsport, Maine, say, like Camden, New Jersey or Gary, Indiana! [hall2_shocked] 

Bob-the-Bartender [hall2_wink]

92
Hey gang,

As I was watching "The DaVinci Code" the other night , I was struck at how much the stunningly beautiful French actress, Audrey Tautou, looks like Alexandra Moltke of Dark Shadows.

PS That self-flagellating monk in the flick reminded me of a masochistic Diabolos! >:D ::) ;)

93
Hey gang,

Did you ever notice how poor Willie is the recipient of so many thrashings on the show?  I mean, after appearing in only a few episodes, Willie gets his lights punched out by alpha-male Burke Devlin in the Blue Whale (much to proprietor Bob the Bartender's "great" chagrin).  [boxing]

Of course, Willie really got the stuffing beaten out of him, when an enraged Barnabas took his cane to Willie's carcass one night.  Oh, the pain and those seemingly permanent black-and-blue marks! [90d1] [5363] [twak]

And in an example of "With Friends Like These...." how despicable was it, when Willie's former "buddy," Jason McGuire, punk-slapped woeful Willie only a few days after Mr. B. had cudgeled his maladroit manservant within an inch of his life?  [a395]

Oh, poor Willie's shellackings seemed to go on and on as the jealous Joe Haskell once pummeled Maggie Evans' unrequited love, and the assertive man/child Adam almost crushed Willie's cranium as badly as the late, "lamented" Phil Leotardo had his cocoanut crushed by that errant SUV! [help]

I do hope that Barnabas kept up with Willie's Blus Cross/Blue Shield payments. [angel7]

Bob the Bartender, who believes, like the ethereally beautiful Bathis Mapes was wont to say: "Make love, not war." [luv] [love3] [love7]

94
Hey gang,

I happened to watch the 1945 film, "The Enchanted Cottage," on Turner Classic Movie recently.  In the film, the lovely Dorothy McGuire (uncharacteristically) plays a rather plain young woman named Laura Pennington, a woman who comes to work in a home located in New England.  In fact, the name of the town (or estate) in which she is employed is called "Eastwood" (sort of like Dark Shadows' own Collinwood).

Laura's employer is a stern, practical woman named Mrs. Minnet (sp?), who, as portrayed by veteran character actress Mildred Natwick, looks and sounds a heck of a lot like Mrs. Johnson.

In the film, young Laura falls in love with a returning wounded war veteran, portrayed by Robert Young.  As I saw Ms. McGuire and Mr. Young walking along the rocky shoreline of that unnamed New England state (possibly Maine), I could not not help but think that that scene reminded me of seeing  Barnabas and Vicki walking along the rocky cliff at Widow's Hill.

I wonder if Dark Shadows creator Dan Curtis may have been inspired to create the great Gothic soap opera after seeing Dorothy McGuire and Robert Young in this almost ethereal romantic film classic?

Anyway, Merry Christmamas and Happy Hanukkah to all of my fellow cousins across the vast and wide super information highway! [ChristmaS0] [Chanukah8]

Bob the Bartender [8_2_73]

95
Current Talk '06 II / Chillin' Out In Collinsport!
« on: August 01, 2006, 05:35:59 PM »
Hey gang,

With the temperature predicted to reach 100 degrees (with a heat index in excess of 100 degrees, possibly, even nearing the 110 degree level) across much of the country today, where do you think Barnbas & company would go to "beat-the-heat" in that small fishing village on the rocky coast of Maine (especially, if Collinsport experienced a complete, "pain-in-the-caboose" power blackout)?

With absolutely no electrical power in the Old House, anyway, maybe Barnabas, Willie and Dr. Hoffman might some  find relief from the heat, down in one of those catacomb-like passageways under the 18th century house?  (Although, the secret room in the Collins Family Mausoleum might be cooler than those musty and cobweb-strewn Old House catacombs?)

Then again, maybe Mrs. Stoddard, Roger, Carolyn, David and Vicky might trek-over to Widow's Hill in their Land-Rover, to hopefully catch some cooling and refreshing sea breezes, as a way of escaping the decidely un-Maine-like sirocco winds, assaulting Hancock County, Maine?  (And, wouldn't Mrs. Johnson and her son, Harry, be absolutely "thrilled," to have to schlepp all of those heavily ice-laden coolers of soft drinks, wine and water for their employers'/betters' enjoyment up there on that notoious peak?)  >:(

If all else failed, I suppose that everyone could don their skimpiest of bathing suits, and head on over to the Blue Whale to sip on voluminous bottles of Heineken, Corona Beer and Budweiser, kept cool by the ever-enterprising Bob Rooney, by submersing the brewskies in lobster traps, just off of the dock in Collinsport Bay, immediately outside of the bar.  Can you picture Prof. Stokes wearing a European-style "speedo" while imbibing a St. Pauli Girl or Donna Friedlander, nursing a Bass Ale, and catching some rays on the Blue Whale dock, in her new thong bikini?  (Yeah, picture THAT! ) >:D

Stay cool today, everyone! [cool1] [icecream] [ChristmaS2] [coolg]

Bob the Bartender
PS Maybe today is one day, when it would pay to have P.T. Angelique's recurring "frigid" medical condition?  [huhg] [60c4]   ;)        

96
Hey gang,

Just wanted to let you all know that the Turner Classic Movie Channel will be airing the uproariously funny 1971 film, "Bananas," starring Woody Allen (as the "immortal" Fielding Melish!) at three o'clock this Monday morning.

In the flick, Dark Shadows actor Bob "Blue Whale Bartender Bob Rooney" O'Connell portrays an FBI agent, who interrogates Woody Allen (ersatz/phony South American "liberator" Fielding Melish) in a scene at (I think?) Kennedy Airport. 

I can't tell you, how absolutely thrilled I was, to see Mr. O'Connell actually attired in a suit and tie, rather than in that drab flannel shirt, we always used to see him wearing, standing there behind the tap at the Blue Whale, with that all-too-ubiquitous stogie in his mouth.

Now, don't blink (or, God forbid!) go to the bathroom, or you might miss Mr. O'Connell deliver his one line of dialogue in this hilarious film.  (Watch for the late, great sports announcer Howard Cosell, doing "blow-by-blow" commentary, on the consummation of Woody Allen's and Louise Lasser's marriage in the film.)  >:D

Okay, all of you Dark Shadows insomniacs, you'be been warned!  (I'm not taking any chances myself.  I'm setting my Sony Betamax videorecorder to "SP" speed to record Mr. O'Connell's one-and-only shining moment in a Woody Allen film!) ;D :D ;)

97
Hey gang,

I just cannot let today pass, without acknowledging such renowned Dark Shadows Italian-American alumni as the late, lamented D.S. makeup artist, Mr. Vinnie Loscalzo, and actors George DiCenzo and (the 2nd Burke Devlin) Anthony George (nee: Giorgio), and say very proudly (as the great-grandson of Vincenzo, nee: "Roberto") on July 9, 2006:

Viva Italia ! [clap] [crowdhappy] [headbang] [beer] [wave]




98
Current Talk '06 I / Actors' Accents (Was Re: Episode #0258)
« on: June 22, 2006, 02:04:47 PM »
From Caption This!
M:(thinking) I can't figure out why this little girl from MAINE sounds like she's from Phili!

Buzz,

Oh, yes, little Sarah has a definite Philadelphia accent.  Then again, she could also hail from just across the mighty Delaware in Trenton, NJ.  (Believe me, south Jersey and north Jersey are poles apart in their respective patois!)

Then again, KLS , ("Ms. Land of a 10,000 Lakes") with her Old "Hoowse" pronunciation, sounds like she could also say "oout" or "Eh?" like a true Candian sometimes!

99
Hey gang,

I'll just bet that as a twelve-year-old, Jennifer Melfi ran right home from Our Lady of Taormina Grade School in Verona, NJ to watch Dark Shadows every weekday at 4:00 PM on WABC-TV in New York City.

Of course, Jennifer must have been engrossed (as we all were), watching Barnabas Collins battle a veritable "murderers' row" of assorted supernatural bad guys and gals on the program.  However, I wonder if young Jennifer also first considered a career in medicine after seeing the redoubtable Julia Dr. Hoffman in action?  Yes, it was always Dr. Hoffman, so unfailingly cool in the clutch, who was there to assist Barnabas with, not only her expert medical knowledge, but with her wise counsel as well.  No doubt, Jennifer chose to pursue a medical degree in the field of psychiatry after observing how Dr. Hoffman was able to help so many people and make a positive difference in their lives.

Perhaps Doctors Hoffman and Melfi might have even become close colleagues and friends later in life, with Julia becoming Jennifer's professional mentor/big sister?  No doubt, both doctors would have extended to each other, the professional courtesy of attending to each other's patients during times of vacation.  In fact, I can envision Dr. Hoffman, utilizing her trusty diamond bracelet, in an attempt to relieve the almost-crippling anxiety attacks that one of Dr. Melfi's most challenging-patients,  a much-harried waste management disposal executive, was suffering from.  As Dr. Hoffman skillfully and gently urges the Jersey junk man to gaze into the center of the bracelet, the man pauses momentarily and then says, "For Christ's sake, will you cut that out lady!?! I ain't paying three-hundred bucks an hour to have you twirl that lousy trinket in my freakin' face!"  [santa_shocked]

(So, Dr. Julia Hoffman dutifully records in her notes, that one Mr. Anthony R. Soprano of West Caldwell, New Jersey is her most "challenging" patient to date, ever since she treated one Mr. Jeff Clark of Collinsport, Maine for his own anxiety attacks/delusions of decapitation.)      [confused5a]

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