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Topics - Bob_the_Bartender

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Current Talk '14 I / Serendipitous Shadows!

« on: April 13, 2014, 02:06:26 AM »

Hey, gang,

Did you ever notice how Barnabas was apparently blessed with great good luck on "Dark Shadows"? The guy is finally freed from his coffin in the spring of 1967 (after being locked up there for nearly 170 years), and he lucks out by being released from that coffin by a schlub like Willie Loomis, albeit an apparently very knowledgeable schlub, who, in the space of only a few days, clues Barnabas completely into the workings and customs of the 20th Century and, is also able to get Barnabas some great looking and great fitting threads (apparently, right off of the rack at Brewster's Department Store!).

Another time when Mr. B. lucked out, was when he and Vicky were involved in that automobile accident on the way to the Eagle Hill Cemetery and were taken by ambulance to the Collinsport Hospital. I mean, how extremely serendipitous was it, that the great Eric Lang, noted emergency room physician (and mad scientist extraordinaire!) just happened to be on duty on the same night that Barnabas and Vicky were admitted to the hospital?

What if, instead of Dr. Lang, another doctor had been on duty that night at the emergency room, say, someone like Dr. Murray Leibowitz or Dr. Vijay Patel, or perhaps even Dr. Vinnie Boombotz (the late, great Rodney Dangerfield's personal physician)?

Oh, how fate could have taken an extremely cruel and bad turn for Barnabas if any other doctor had been on duty that fateful night!

No doubt, DS actor John Karlen and his boyhood buddies in the old Redhook section of Brooklyn would have said that Barnabas was "S.O.L" (or "'you-know-what' out of luck").

As it was, Mr. B. was very fortunate that he crossed paths in the emergency room that night with the only doctor in the entire world who could (and would) offer him the chance to escape Angelique's curse by means of his new and remarkable life force exchange experiment.

Similarly, wasn't it extremely fortuitous for Barnabas that Sam Evans, upon Dr. Dave Woodard's recommendation, sent his amnesiac daughter, Maggie, to one Dr. Julia Hoffman for treatment after Maggie's terrifying and mysterious escape from her unknown kidnapper? Once again , Mr. B. lucked out when Maggie's doctor was much more interested in meeting, and eventually trying to cure, Maggie's tormentor, than she was in helping Maggie to cope with the terror and extreme psychological trauma which she had undergone during her imprisonment by the real live vampire.

Can you think of any other serendipitous/fortuitous occurrences for Barnabas or any of the other DS characters?

Bob

Current Talk '13 II / The 2013 L.L. Bean Christmas Catalog a la Collinsport, Maine!

« on: December 04, 2013, 05:31:49 PM »

Hey, gang,

Well, we've reached that joyous time of year when we're all feverishly searching for that perfect Christmas and/or Hanukkah gift for those special people in our lives.

No doubt, many of us have already braved the throngs of fellow eager Yuletide shoppers at malls across America on Black Friday. (By the way, do you think that Maggie, Willie, Carolyn and Quentin, among others, got an early headstart and were in Brewster's Department Store shopping for bargains at around 11:00 pm on Thanksgiving Day? Perhaps except for ol' Willie, I think not.)

I wonder if the residents of Collinsport were also making use of the super information highway to purchase gifts for the holiday season? Heck, I love using the internet and store catalogs to spare myself the drudgery and annoyance of schlepping from store to store, in search of that "perfect" gift.

So, what better place to look for Christmas gifts but in the catalog of the world famous store which has been based for over one hundred years in the home state of our favorite Gothic soap opera, the one-and-only L.L. Bean Company of Freeport, Maine!

To illustrate their excellent line of clothes and other outdoor items in their catalog, L.L. Bean has such wonderful photographs taken in the spectacularly beautiful state of Maine, a/k/a Vacation Land, USA! (Incidentally, I wonder if all of the beautiful women and handsome men, who are seen as models in those great shots, are really all residents of Maine? But I digress.)

So, in perusing this year's Christmas catalog, I wondered what it would look like if the real life residents of Collinsport were used as actual Maine models in the publication at various scenic sites in and around the great house of Collinwood? Since I know that most (if not all) of you have the catalog at home for reference, here are a few thoughts I came up with:

Page 154 - The L.L. Bean Ultralight Down Outerwear (warmest to -30 degrees) - In this photograph, we see a beautiful, fair-haired young woman, who is shown walking thoughtfully through a field as a gentle snow falls all around her. Now, couldn't this be Carolyn Stoddard, taking one of her long walks through the woods on the way to Widow's Hill, to think things out and determine if she'll ever find the right man in her life? ( Will it be Tony Pertersen, Adam, Chris Jennings of Jeb Hawks? You make the call on that one!)

Page 98 - The L.L. Bean 850 Down Jacket (warmer to -25 degrees) - On a much happier note, we see an attractive couple, attired in lightweight down outerwear, and enjoying a sunny day in a Maine field. Couldn't this comely couple be Maggie and Joe, out searching for just the perfect Christmas tree to put next to the large Bay window in the Evans cottage?

Page 109 - The L.L. Bean Kids' 3-in-1 Parka (warmer to -5 degrees) - How about the youngest Collisport generation, represented by the always precocious David Collins and his good pal/accomplice Amy Jennings, attired in these verstile jackets with accompanying fleece hats, cavorting in the snow, and deciding just who will be the next adult to play "the game" with them in Collinwood?

Page 150 - The world-renowned L.L. Winter Boots for Ladies - Couldn't you envision Collinwood housekeper and acclaimed new England cook, Mrs. Sarah Johnson, trudging through the snowy, wet, and invariably muddy grounds of the Collinwood estate, as sees to the needs of all the occupants of the great house itself? (Although, this notoriously frugal and lifelong Collinsort resident might justifiably balk at the cost of a pair of 8" felt boots at $129 a pair!)

Page 31 - L.L. Bean's 1912 Corduroys - The casual good looks of these popular corduroys are available in six vibrant colors. I can just see either the venerable Ezra Braithwaite or the almost equally venerable Eagle Hill Cemetery caretaker, slylin' down Main Street in Collinsport in a pair of these sharp looking cords. By the way, how old do you think Mr. Braithwairte was in 1912 when L.L. Bean first came out with these pants? In any event, as they say in Maine, Messrs. Braithwaite and the unnamed Eagle Hill Cemetery caretaker would look "wicked good" in these corduroys, especially in the Deepest Red ones, imo.

Page 173 - The L.L Bean Tartan Flannel Sleepwear - In the photograph displaying these stylish ladies' pajamas, we see an extremely beautiful, blond woman, sitting happily by a Christmas tree. Maybe I'm just an unrealistic romantic, but I can imagine that gorgeous woman being Angelique, attired in her Royal Stewart Victoria jammies, as she sits by the Christmas tree in the Old House drawing room with a fire burning in the fireplace on Christmas morning, and waiting for her beloved husband, Barnabas, to join her on this holiest and happiest of days!

(Do you think that his amorous couple will even need a piece of mistletoe, hanging from the drawing room chandelier?)

Page 14 - The L.L. Bean Scotch Plaid Shirt (The official shirt of Christmas) - What better model for L.L. Bean's trademark winter shirt than Mr. Bob Rooney, Blue Whale bartender extraodinaire, wearing one of his trademark flannel shirts, while mixing drinks for all of the joyous Collinsport Christmas revellers in Collinsport's classiest watering hole?

(I, for one, think that Bob would look especially sartorially splendid in Bean's Grey Stewart flannel shirt.)

Page 77 - The L.L. Bean Double-Layer Thermal Underwear - These longtime L.L. Bean favorites feature two layers of cotton and merino wool to keep one warm on even the coldest of Maine winter nights. Although, there is no model in the photograph for these ultra-warm undies, I can almost see the eminent Prof. T. Elliot Stokes in the photo, chilling out in a pair of the full body Union Suit thermals (preferably the bright Christmas red ones) as he sits at his desk in his living room, enjoying some sherry and cheese, and working on his latest monograph, a discussion of the accuracy of the depiction of supernatural entities in author and favorite Maine homestate boy, Stephen King.

Are there any other Dark Shadows characters, whom you'd like to see as a model in L.L. Bean's Christmas catalog?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and perhaps even Bah Humbug,

Bob

Current Talk '13 II / Which Was the Greatest "Cameo Appearance" Ever by a Fly on DS?

« on: November 13, 2013, 12:22:27 AM »

Hey, gang,

I was looking at the DS Bloopers tape the other day, and I got a kick out of seeing all of those uninvited "guests," making life somewhat challenging for the DS actors.

There certainly were enough "gadflies" to pester and annoy the actors as they attempted to hit their marks and recite their lines flawlessly. Here are a few of the more memorable flies:

1797 - Joshua discusses the "desirability" of Millicent as a wife with an extremely skeptical Jeremiah as a fly makes a perfect three-point landing on the tip of Louis Edmonds' nose. (It is a tribute to Mr. Edmonds' great sense of sangfroid, that he was able to maintain his cool and deliver his lines perfectly.)

1840 - Lamar Trask and Samantha Collins are involved in a serious discussion in the drawing room of Collinwood as a fly buzzes Lamar and then lands on the tip of Samantha's nose. (Virginia Vestoff proves to be as good an acting trooper as Mr. Edmonds. In fact, I wonder if it was that same fly, who had attacked Mr. Edmonds in 1797?)

1967 - As Dr. Hoffman is checking out the basement of the Old House to see if it is suitable enough to use as a lab for her proposed experiment with Barnabas, Mr. B. and Willie are up in the drawing room, with Barnabas gravely informing Willie Loomis: "I will do away with her now." Right at that very moment, an extremely persistent fly lands on Barnabas' face, repeatedly, forcing the somber vampire to keep swatting away at the pesky, little b@st@rd. (At the soap opera celebration special back around 1995, the assembled audience of hundreds of daytime actors, including Jonathan Frid, KLS and Lara Parker, erupted into uproarious laughter at this classic "Dark Shadows" scene in a segment devoted to soap opera bloopers.)

1968 - As the avenging ghost of the original Rev. Trask is attempting to exorcise Cassandra (whom the reverend has tied to a tree in the woods not far from Collinwood), yet another determined and seemingly indefatigable fly acts like a kamikaze pilot, buzzing around the "good" reverend's head. (I especially like this fly "cameo appearance," because actor Jerry Lacy is equally determined to deliver his dramatic and decidedly verbose rite of exorcism to the point that he starts blowing air out of the side of his mouth in an oh-so-vain attempt to get the little pain-in-the-@ss out of his closeup. Kudos to Mr. Lacy!)

PT 1970 - While lying in bed and perusing a book ("The Poems and Songs of Robert Burns," I think?), new bride Maggie Evans-Collins is forced to swat at another seemingly tireless fly. (I'm almost surprised that KLS did not just try to trap the little stinker in between a couple pages of that Robert Burns tome and squish the d@mned thing!)

There are several more gadfly "aerial sorties" on the blooper tape, including Mrs. Stoddard being attacked in the drawing room of Collinwood, and a fly landing on the (ringing) telephone in Paul Stoddard's room at the Collinsport Inn.

You know, just once I would have like to have seen bartender Bob Rooney, trying to pulverize an annoying horsefly with a fly swatter on the top of the bar at the Blue Whale. Or, perhaps a scene in which Roger Collins is seen sitting by the fireplace in the Collinwood drawing room, enjoying a particularly fine brandy, and revelling in the utter civility of the moment as Mrs. Johnson suddenly storms into the room, with a can of Raid Flying Insect Spray in hand, attempting to spray the little b@st@rd to death. (Do you think that Roger might say something pithy, like: "Mrs. Johnson, will you stop spraying that odious cr@p all over the room, for Christ's sake!?!")

So, do you have favorite "cameo appearance" by a fly on "Dark Shadows"?

Bob, who likes those sticky strips, that you can hang from from a lamp and try to catch the little "darlings."

Current Talk '13 II / A Veritable Outbreak of RSN Fever In Collinsport, Maine!

« on: October 31, 2013, 02:33:37 PM »

Hey, gang,

No doubt the Blue Whale was jammed pack last night, with all of the rabid fans of Red Sox Nation, celebrating their beloved Boston Red Sox's World Series victory over the mighty St. Louis Cardinals!

I could just see Maggie, Joe, Vicky, Sheriff Patterson, Mrs. Johnson, Harry Johnson, Janet Findlay, Chris Jennings and Willie Loomis cheering on their own "Sox."

Heck, maybe even the enigmatic Eagle Hill Cemetery Caretaker finally left the cemetery for one night to go to the Blue Whale and cheer on Series MVP David "Big Papi" Ortiz!!!

God knows, after last April's horrific and outrageous occurrence at the Boston Marathon, the good people of New England deserve something to kvell about and celebrate for a couple of days.

So, once again, congratulations to:

The 2013 World Series Baseball Champions, The Boston Red Sox!!!

Bob

Current Talk '13 II / T.V.'s Top Ten Greatest Snobs of All Time!

« on: October 29, 2013, 01:41:37 AM »

Hey, gang,

I don't know about you, but I've always enjoyed those television characters who seem to have their noses perpetually up in the air, and, then generally, rather abruptly, are given their just comeuppances.

Anyway, for what it's worth, in descending order, here are t.v.'s top ten greatest snobs:

10 - Chatsworth Osborne, Jr. - Dobie Gillis' extremely affluent and snotty rival (portrayed by actor Steve Franken) for all of the beautiful girls in town on "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis."

9 - Simon Brimmer - The supercilious radio host and sleuth (portrayed by the superb John Hillerman), who is always bested by the unfailingly polite and perspicacious Ellery Queen (portrayed by the greatly underrated Jim Hutton) in the 1970s mystery/comedy show, "Ellery Queen."

8 - Mrs. Margaret Drysdale - The wonderfully snooty, society lady (portrayed by Harriet G. MacGibbon) who is absolutely appalled by the next door presence of new millionaire Jed Clampett and his country kinfolk on "The Beverly Hillbillies."

7 - Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "bouquet") - Great Britain's greatest social climber (portrayed by the remarkable Patricia Routledge); a woman who makes Madame DeFarge look like Mother Teresa in her dealings with and treatment of other people on "Keeping Up Appearances."

6 - Mr and Mrs. Thurston Howell III - arguably the most affluent shipwrecked castaways ever (portrayed by the terrific Jim "Mr. Magoo" Bachus and Red Bank, N.J.'s own Natalie Schaffer); how Thurston and "Lovey" managed to "keep up appearances" so stylishly on that tiny island for so long on "Gilligan's Island" is beyond me.

5 - Audrey fforbes-Hamilton - an upperclass, toffee-nosed British woman (portrayed by the indomitable Penelope Keith), whom Hyacinth Bucket dreams of one day eventually becoming (but never will) on "To the Manor Born." (Ms. Keith was also superb as the ultimate stuck-up British yenta, Margo Leadbetter, on "The Good Neighbors.")

4 - Basil Fawlty - probably the most arrogant, albeit inept, hotel proprietor/manager in television history (portrayed by the always manic John Cleese) on the classic "Fawlty Towers." (Think of Basil Fawlty as a cynical and misanthropic Mr. Wells. I know it's hard to do.)

3 - Jonathan Higgins - the very proper British major domo (also portrayed by the incredibly Texas born John Hillerman) of writer Robin Masters' magnificent estate on the island of Oahu, who seemingly is forever locking horns with the laidback (not to mention extremely sloppy) resident security man/estate guest, Thomas Magnum (portrayed by the terrific Tom Selleck), on "Magnum, P.I."

2 - Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester, III - the quintessential Boston brahim/U.S. Army surgeon (portrayed by the wonderfully hubristic David Ogden Stiers), who considers his fellow screwball Korean War surgeons/officers, "Hawkeye" Pierce and B.J. Hunnicut (portrayed by Alan Alda and Mike Farrell) as common guttersnipes beneath his very contempt.

And, I think you know whom THE greatest television snob of all time is, the man close to the hearts of "Dark Shadows" fans near and far, the one-and-only:

1 - Roger Collins !!! - Yes, Collinsport, Maine's own "regular guy" (portrayed by the truly immortal Louis Edmonds), a man who must have been an inspiration and role model to both George Plimpton and the late, great William F. Buckley!

Kathryn Leigh Scott expressed it best when, in her first book, "My Scrapbook Memories of Dark Shadows." she described Roger Collins as "being arch and aristocratic played to delicious perfection by the arch and aristocratic Louis Edmonds." I always enjoyed the brother/sister squabbles between Louis Edmonds and Joan Bennett as (Collinwood matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard). Ms. Scott described those memorable scenes as a "study in icy disdain, no one could quite sneer like Louis Edmonds."

Remember when Roger, after having been out of town for several days, finds out that Carolyn has actually married the despicable Jeb Hawkes, Elizabeth reminds her younger brother that the family had not approved of her own marriage to Paul Stoddard, to which Roger, in his own inimitable and mordant style replies, "And, with disastrous results!" Oh, I loved it!

Perhaps the late Sam Evans, a true regular guy, hit the proverbial nail on the head, when he said to Roger, over a couple of drinks at the Blue Whale:

"Roger, you ARE a snob!"

So, kudos to the late, great Louis Edmonds, for his absolutely consummate performance as t.v.'s greatest snob.

Current Talk '13 II / Who's More Annoying: Morgan Collins or Kim Kardashian?

« on: September 13, 2013, 12:25:15 AM »

Hey, gang,

I happened to be watching the PT 1840 DS episodes recently, and it struck me how truly obnoxious the character of Morgan Collins was on the show. The guy constantly hassles his "beloved" Catherine during these episodes, argues with his brothers, and really has it in for his cousin, Bramwell Collins. In fact, I recall Jonathan Frid, as Bramwell in one episode, describing Morgan to Catherine Harridge, as being "spoiled, arrogant and weak."

This guy was one of "Dark Shadows'' "greatest" bete-noires, imo, right up there along with PT 1970 Quentin Collins and 1897's Judith Collins-Trask!

I can't say that I was sorry to see Morgan and Bramwell (along with Kendrick) have that final confrontation on the widow's walk on the top of Collinwood. (Geronimo!!!)

And, what can I say about a truly "great" talent like Kim Kardashian? This woman is like Ava Gardner, Eleanor Roosevelt and Sandra Day O'Connor all rolled into one. I was glad to hear DS actor Kathryn Leigh Scott expressing such "great" admiration for shows like "Keeping Up With The Kardashians," when she appeared on George Noory's "Coast-to-CoastAM Show" last summer.

Of course, Ms. Kardashians's "better" half, singer Kanye West is another "delightful" mensch. Remember when "Mr. Kardashian" showed himself to be the true gentleman that he is, when he "complimented" singer Taylor Swift for her award (over "Mr. Kardashians's" good pal, Beyonce) on one of those music award shows several years ago?

Nevertheless, Ms. Kardashian and her cheerful companion are certainly to be congratulated on the recent birth of their baby, they named "North" (or is that "North-by-Northwest" or "North to Alaska" or possibly even "Northern Exposure," I really don't know for sure?).

Yes, I think we can all thank the late, lamented attorney and faithful O.J. Simpson defender, Mr. Robert Kardashian, for presenting (or more likely foisting ) his entire Kardashian family on the American psyche!

So, I leave it to you, is it the dour and sullen Morgan Collins or the totally untalented Kim Kardashian, who is more annoying?

Bob

PS Maybe Khloe Kardashian-Odom and her husband Lamar Odom can portray Daphne and Quentin in a remake of the 1840 PT storyline?

Current Talk '13 II / On Taking Up Residence in Collinsport

« on: August 26, 2013, 02:00:35 AM »

Hey, gang,

No doubt, many lifelong fans of Dark Shadows have fantasized at one time or another about actually living in the mythical New England fishing village of Collinsport, Maine. (I know I have!) And if you've ever travelled to Maine, you know what an incredibly beautiful state Maine truly is, especially at this time of year.

However, if by some Twilight Zone-like twist of fate or fortune, you were able to become a resident of Collinsport, where would you like to set up digs? I suppose many Dark Shadows fans/cousins would select the great house of Collinwood as their first choice of residence. And, many others might want to settle down in the Collins family's first home, that of the Old House.

Perhaps other fans/cousins might opt for one of the smaller residences on the Collins estate, including Matthew Morgan's old cottage, the carriage house (where the newlyweds Jeb and Carolyn Hawks lived for a brief time); then there's the House-by-the-Sea (which warlock Nicholas Blair rented from the Collins family for several months), and I believe, Seaview, where Vicky and Burke were eventually going to move into after they were married. (Alas, we know that that never happened.)

Other possibilities include the quaint and cozy Evans cottage, which, I believe, was KLS' favorite set on the show. You know, we never actually got to see the second floor of the Evans cottage. (It always struck me as funny that Sam and Maggie had their bedrooms on the first floor of the cottage. I'd have thought that their bedrooms would have been on the second floor?)

Of course, there's always the McGruder Mansion, which we got to see during Dark Shadows' final year on the air. That place (and I mean the real one and not the replica in the playroom) always looked like a Ken & Barbie dollhouse. And, then there were the apartment buildings in which Prof. Stokes, Joe Haskell, Tony Peterson and Jeff Clark lived in. While Prof. Stokes and Tony Peterson's apartments didn't look bad, it looked to as if both Joe Haskell and Jeff Clark lived in flophouses.

As to my own preference, well, I think that Collinwood, as magnificent as it was, was just too darned big. (And, I'd always be concerned that I might accidentally walk into one of Collinwood's many secret passage ways, and get hopelessly lost, when I was anxiously "searching" for a "water closet" at about four in the morning!)

And, let's not even talk about how much it must have cost to keep the lights, water, heating, etc., on in Collinwood!

On the other hand, as cool as the Old House is, I don't think that I could ever handle the lack of electricity, hot-and-cold running water, central heating and air conditioning, but MOST of all, I don't think that I could EVER get used to "employing" the chamber pots and outdoor out house(s) which Banabas and Willie, no doubt, made frequent use of. (I venture to say that the lack of "facilities" in the Old House had to have been the toughest thing for poor Willie to accept/adjust to after he went to "work" for Mr. B.)

Oh yeah, there is also the late, lamented Dr. Eric Lang's house, which looks incredibly like the late, unlamented Rev. Gregory Trask's boarding school of Worthington Hall. (Dr. Lang's house also kind of reminds me of Herman Munster's homestead at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights, USA, but I digress.)

So, I have to say that I like both the Evans cottage and the House-by-the-Sea, but I'd have to go with Nicholas Blair's former Collinsport residence. The thought of living by the sea is very appealing to me (barring any future Hurricanes Katrina or Sandy hitting the East coast.) And, the prospect of living in that isolated house with neither noisy nor nosy neighbors around to annoy me is EXTREMELY appealing!!!

So, which Collinsport/Collinwood house (or apartment) would you like to live in?

Bob

Current Talk '13 II / Dark Shadows' Dynamic Duo of Comedy, Redux!

« on: August 23, 2013, 01:38:32 AM »

Hey, gang,

I believe that I posted this thread about a million years ago on the Dark Shadows Forums (actually, perhaps ten years ago), and since DS fans are currently discussing the Adam storyline, I thought that it might be fun to reprise it:

Throughout the 20th century and beyond, Americans have enjoyed outstanding, and I venture to say, legendary comedy teams, such as Laurel & Hardy, Hope & Crosby, Abbott & Costello, and Nichols & May to name but a few.

Today, a bright new duo enters this pantheon of comedy team greats. Of course, I am referring to Collinsport's two favorite sons, those new Kings of Comedy:

Lang & Clark!!!

Yes, Eric Lang, master of the malaprop, the non sequitur, and proud possessor of that winsomely crooked smile, a great straight man in the tradition of the-one-and-only Mr. Bud Abbott!

And the younger half of this sensational new team, the irrepressible Jeff Clark, whose skillfull use of the pratfall and the phony limb; and whose unparalleled utilization of humorous histrionics make him a comedic talent to reckoned with for years to come.

So, be forewarned dear viewer, for you will soon be exposed (or possibly even subjected) to almost unrelenting, side-splitting zaniness. Understandably, the residents of Collinsport are extremely proud of their two local boys who have made good. Think of them as Collinsport's answer to Cheech & Chong!

I therefore submit for your consideration, and obvious enjoyment, Dr. Eric Lang and Mr. Jeff Clark, these masters of mirth and mayhem. Let the laughter begin!!!

Current Talk '13 II / RE: The Barnabas Collins Book of the Night Club!

« on: August 05, 2013, 12:30:32 AM »

Hey, gang,

Did you ever wonder what Barnabas did to pass the time of night on those occasions when he wasn't "quenching" his "thirst"?

Well, since we all know that Barnabas eschewed all of the "modern conveniences" in the Old House, maybe he spent a considerable amount of time by curling up in a chair in the Old House drawing room, and reading a good book by candlelight (just like he probably did during those cold winter nights in Maine during the late 18th century)?

Now, Barnabas did have a selection of books, albeit a rather small selection, in that bookcase in front of the secret room in the Old House. So, perhaps he borrowed any number of books from Mrs. Stoddard's voluminous library in the great house of Collinwood? Then again, perhaps he also sent Willie Loomis into town regularly, so that Willie could request the latest book releases at the Collinsport library or to purchase both books and magazines at Collinsport's local book store? (Maybe Barnabas even became a regular subscriber to such respected magazines as National Geographic, Time and, possibly, National Lampoon?)

Of course, after being locked up in that coffin for so many years, Barnabas had a heck of a lot of catching up to do. I'd have to think that Barnabas would want to read a cross section of works, encompassing history, fiction and world travel.

Here are a few titles I think that Mr. B. would enjoy reading at about three in the morning in the Old House:

1. "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy - coming in at 1388 pages long.

2. "Shogun: The Epic Novel of Japan" by James Clavell - coming in at 998 pages long.

3. "The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - with four novels and 56 short stories coming in at over 1000 pages. (Note: The Strand Magazine began publishing Sir Arthur's stories about the world's most famous consulting detective in the late 19th century, so Barnabas might have read some of these works after he I-Chinged back to Collinwood in 1897, and Judith or Edward just happened to have the Strand Magazine lying about in the drawing room at Collinwood.)

4. "Truman" by David G. McCullough - coming in at 1117 pages long. Being an astute student of history, both American and European, perhaps Barnabas would enjoy reading Mr. McCullough's superb biography of "Give "Em Hell" Harry Truman. (I venture to say that we could also use a truly great leader like Harry Truman today, but I digress.)

5. "Noble House" also by James Clavell - coming in at 1370 pages. Mr. Clavell's novel dealing with contemporary Hong Kong would probably keenly interest a former sea captain like Barnabas, who had traveled much of the known world in the 18th century.

Can you think of any other books, preferably long ones, which might interest Barnabas and help him "make it through the night," so to speak?

Bob

Calendar Events / Announcements '13 II / Regarding Mr. Marvin & Mr. Ryan

« on: July 25, 2013, 10:32:36 PM »

Hey, gang,

I wanted to recommend a new biography on the life of the iconic film actor Lee Marvin, entitled "Lee Marvin: Point Blank," by Dwayne Epstein. In the book, Mr. Epstein chronicles Mr. Marvin's early life (including his distinguished military service as a 20-year-old U.S. Marine during World War II in the Pacific) and Mr. Marvin's extensive television and film career. Usually a tough guy in films, Mr. Marvin ironically won Best Actor at the Academy Awards for his performance as the uproariously funny gunslinger "Kid Shellen" in "Cat Ballou," along with the beautiful and (still at that time) rather "low-keyed" Jane Fonda.

In 1970, Mr. Marvin starred as an aging cowboy in a film entitled "Monte Walsh," along with Jack Palance, the perpetually sexy Jeanne Moreau, and also with "Dark Shadows" alumnus Mitchell Ryan, who portrayed Shorty Austin, one of Monte Walsh's fellow cowboys, who eventually turns outlaw.

According to author Dwayne Epstein, Lee Marvin and Mitchell Ryan became good friends during the filming of "Monte Walsh." Apparently, they remained good friends, and were known to "occasionally kick back a few together," right up until Mr. Marvin's untimely death at the age of 63 in 1987. The author points out that Mr. Ryan secured the role of Shorty Austin in "Monte Walsh" on the favorable impression he had made on the film's producers, who had seen him perform on stage on Broadway in New York several years before (and, I guess, during the same time he had also portrayed Burke Devlin on "Dark Shadows").

If you liked Lee Marvin as an actor, and would also like to read about something Mitchell Ryan's post-"Dark Shadows" career, I think that you'll enjoy reading this excellent biography.

Bob

Current Talk '13 I / Do You Think Barnabas Could Get a Reverse Mortgage on the Old House?

« on: June 27, 2013, 09:18:44 PM »

Hey, gang,

I'm sure everyone has seen those highly informative reverse mortgage commercials on tv, featuring such popular celebrity spokespersons as James Garner, former U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson, Robert Wagner, Barbara Eden, and, of course, Mr. Henry Winkler.

Well, I wondered if Barnabas Collins, now that he'd be in his late seventies, at least, (or 243 years of age in "vampire years"), perhaps Barnabas might want to consider the benefits of a reverse mortgage as he approached his golden years? After all, Mr. B. owns the house outright, and as he once proudly informed Vicky Winters: "This magnicent house was built to last for untold centuries to come." (And, after nearly 220 years of existence, Barnabas was not just whistling Dixie about the structural soundness of the Old House!)

Heck, maybe even Mrs. Stoddard or even Roger Collins and Carolyn Stoddard might want to inquire as to the financial advisability of securing a reverse morgage on the great house of Collinwood itself? Maybe the Collins family might want to determine how much money they could receive on a reverse mortgage on some of the other smaller properties on their vast estate, including Matthew Morgan's old cottage, the carriage house, the House-by-the Sea (which warlock Nicholas Blair once rented from the family), and that charming Seaview House (which the apparently ill-fated Burke Devlin was going to purchase from Mrs. Stoddard as a wedding gift for Vicky)?

Perhaps Maggie Evans might also want to consider securing a reverse mortgage on the cottage which she and her late father, Sam, lived in for so many years?

Somehow, I don't believe that Dr. Julia Hoffman could get a reverse mortgage on a medical facility like Windcliff.

Can you think of any other Collinsport residents who might reap the benefits of a reverse mortgage in their now senior years?

And as Henry Winkler/Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli is wont to say in those truly delightful reverse mortgage commercials of his: "Take control of your retirement To-day!"

Current Talk '13 I / Regarding Quentin's Immortality

« on: June 02, 2013, 11:03:49 PM »

Hey, gang,

Excuse me if this topic has been broached recently, but I've always wondered about the immortality Quentin "achieved" after Charles Delaware Tate completed that mystical portrait of him in 1897.

As the years passed by after the return of Barnabas, Dr. Hoffman and Prof. Stokes from their trip to 1840 (back to 1971), how do you think Quentin coped with the fact that everyone at Collinwood (and, for that matter, in Collinsport) had obviously started to show the inevitable signs of aging? I mean, even David, the youngest Collins, would be in his mid-fifties and AARP-eligible by now. And, yet, Quentin would still look to be only around 30-years-old.

Of course, Barnabas and Jullia Hoffman would be "hip" to Quentin's personal "fountain of youth," but wouldn't David, Carolyn and Maggie be the least be curious (or even suspicious) about Quentin's ability to defy Father Time?

Maybe they all thought that Quentin was a faithful patient of some of those high-priced plastic surgeons, which many Hollywood celebrities are also suspected of being "faithful patients"?

In any event, kudos to Quentin! He looks as eternally youthful as Cher, Kenny Rogers, Faye Dunaway, Mickey Rourke, and the always ageless Ms. Joan Rivers!!!

Bob

Current Talk '12 II / Regarding Dark Shadows' Eclectic Film Soundtrack

« on: December 28, 2012, 01:59:16 PM »

Hey gang,

Did you think that the songs that director Tim Burton selected for his film, "Dark Shadows," were absolutely right on the mark? I thought that Mr. Burton hit a grand slam in his selection, beginning with, of course, the great Robert Cobert's eerie "The Secret Room," and, then segueing into the classic scene of Vicky (or was that Maggie or Josette?) onboard the train on her way to Collinsport with The Moody Blues' Justin Hayward intoning, "Nights in White Satin."

Mr. Burton perfectly captured the zeitgeist of the early 1970s with such songs as Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly" and Steve Miller's "The Joker." (Didn't Johnny Depp sound like Sir Ian McKellen, so seriously reciting the lyrics to Steve Miller's seminal hit song?)

Certainly, humor played a great part in Mr. Burton's film version of Barnabas Collins & company. And, we certainly were provided with much laughter with the great Alice Cooper's appearance and musical performance in the film. "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "The Ballad of of Dwight Fry" (with the able assistance of young Carolyn Stoddard) set just the right tone for Mrs. Stoddard's "ball," don't you think?

Incidentally, I believe that Dwight Fry was a character actor back in the 1930s, who appeared in both the original "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi (Mr. Fry portrayed Mr. Renfield, who was Dracula's victim and who also ate spiders, if my memory does not fail me after all these years), and as one of Dr. Frankenstein's "slightly" demented lab assistants, who has a particularly nasty and fatal confrontation with Boris Karloff on the roof of the Frankenstein castle/laboratory in the original "Frankenstein."

And, how about that oh-so-energetic love scene between Johnny Depp and Eva Green (as Angelique) with the late, great Barry White singing "Your're the First, The Last, My Everything"!?!

I don't think that I've seen such a "spirited" love scene since I saw Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland get it on in romantic Venice in the film , "Don't Look Now," if I correctly recall that erotic thriller's title.

I think the song that I enjoyed hearing the most in the film, though, was "Top of the World," performed by the late and eternally lovely Karen Carpenter. To hear that truly angelic voice while Mr. Burton provided us with a series of scenes with Barnabas, attempting to cope with life in the 20th century, was masterful! As I sat in the theater, the audience (along with yours truly) erupted into paroxyms of laughter, seeing Barnabas supervising the restoration of both Collinwood and the Collins Fishing Cannery, attempting to find "suitable" sleeping accommodations, brushing his fangs in front of the mirror (with predictable "vampiric" results!), and reading Erich Segal's sappy novel, "Love Story," together with a starry-eyed Vicky while sitting romantically at the beach. That sequence was easily my favorite scene in the film.

After seeing "Dark Shadows," I logged onto Youtube to view some of Karen Carpenter's past television performances with her equally talented brother Richard and the other musicians in the group, The Carpenters. After having seen her perform way back in the early 1970s, it was wonderful to see and hear Ms. Carpenter and the band perform again. Although, in watching these old videos, I had a sense of sadness, remembering how tragic and untimely Karen Carpenter's death was, and that she will have been gone for thirty years, come this February.

However, I was extremely pleased in reading some of the comments following the musical videos, that some of the younger people, after having seen the film "Dark Shadows," were interested in checking out Ms. Carpenter's past performances on Youtube. Many of these younger people, who had never even heard of The Carpenters before seeing the film, expressed great admiration for Ms. Carpenter's musical talent. In fact, one young woman posted that her interest in Karen Carpenter was piqued after having heard her mother sing right along with Ms. Carpenter as she sang "Top of the World" during that wonderful scene in "Dark Shadows."

So, I am grateful that Mr. Burton included Ms. Carpenter's song in his film and for providing the younger generation with an opportunity to become acquainted with a truly great singer, of whom composer Paul Williams once said: "Karen Carpenter, she sang like an angel."

Bob

Current Talk '13 I / 1968: The Year of the Vampiric Angelique's Desperate Gambit!

« on: December 27, 2012, 03:38:22 PM »

Hey gang,

In watching the Adam-and-Eve DS storyline the other day, I was intrigued when Angelique "enlisted" the aid of Jeff Clark in an attempt to rid herself of warlock Nicholas Blair's vampire curse, by providing the "life-force" for Dr. Hoffman's creation and escaping Nicholas' curse in the new female body.

After Angelique had put the "bite" on poor Jeff (who, as an apparent man of the 18th century somehow knows all about wiring up and operating state-of-the-art 20th century electronic medical equipment, go figure!), she forces Vicky's fiancee to "rev-up" Dr. Lang's Victor Frankenstein-like gizmos.

However, at up to this point, the female body had been fully wrapped in surgical gauze. Maybe I'm just naturally suspicious or even cynical, but wouldn't the extremely beautiful Angelique have wanted to "check out the "merchandise," so to speak, before providing the "life-force" for the "new" Angelique? I mean, I don't intend to sound to be too "superficial," but what if Angelique had discovered after the, hopefully, successful experiment, that Angelique now looked like, say, Mrs. Lift, the odious and oh-so-repulsive "Momma" from the film, "Throw Momma from the Train," or even worse, Angelique now looked like that world-renowned singer Alice Cooper, whom Johnny Depp's Barnabas characterized as "THE ugliest woman I've ever seen!"?

Wouldn't Angelique now have buyer's (or more to the point "life-force" donor's) regret?

Maybe Angelique just might have wished she had remained that drop-dead gorgeous vampire in that almost virginal white dress of hers?

Bob

PS Happy New Year!!! We all made it past 12/21/12 and we're all still here to watch and schmooze about our beloved Dark Shadows for at least another millennium!

Current Talk '12 II / The Fifth Commandment Vis A Vis Dark Shadows 1968 & 2012

« on: December 20, 2012, 09:01:55 PM »

Hey gang,

I was watching the new DS film again the other day, and I got to wondering about which version of Barnabas, specifically, Jonathan Frid's or Johnny Depp's version, violated the Fifth Commandment of "Thou Shalt Not Kill" (according to the Augustinian version ) more often.

Now, as best as I can remember, Mr. Frid's version of Barnabas "offed" around twenty people during the original series run on ABC back in the late 1960s/early 1970s.

After seeing the new Dark Shadows film several times, I believe that there were 11 hard hats, seven hippies (the same ones, who gave Vicky/Maggie/Josette a lift in that VW van at the beginning of the film), and, of course, one prominent member of the medical profession, who probably wished that they had not made Barnabas' acquaintance.

So, which Barnabas do you think was more bloodthirsty, and what's worse (or possibly better): knocking-off twenty people (or so) over a span of nearly four years on television, or knocking-off twenty people (or so) over the span of a film lasting around 144 minutes?

I'll let you decide.

Bob

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