On behalf of all the bartenders, whoever opened a bottle of beer, lit a customer's cigarette, or prepared a Tom Collins (what else in this town!), I would like to offer the following pithy (if not, pathetic) statement:

You can call me Mooney, and you can call me Rooney, but don't you call me Looney!

Bob the Bartender, a proud graduate of the American Bartender School.

PS Did you catch the groovy "Prince Valiant " hair style on Mr, Mooney today?  He looked like a "beefed up" cross between Buster Brown and the little Dutch Boy!!!

Let's see, Joshua offers $20,000 in gold plus the proceeds of Barnabas' estate (say, another five grand) to Angelique in order to blow town.

I wonder what the buying power of $25,000 would be at the end of the eighteenth century?  I remember that Professor Reitemier mentioned something about the relative value of the nineteenth century dollar back in Economics class, but I can't remember exactly what.

Nevertheless, I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Bouchard-Collins could have lived like the proverbial queen in Paris or Rome on that amount.  Angelique should have taken the money and run when Ol' sourpuss Collins offered her the dough.  

I guess that Angelique felt that she had to "attend to" her husband before she left Collinsport, because she feared him following her wherever she went.

By the way, set your vcr's at sp mode for Monday.  A wonderful blooper will occur at the beginning of the first episode.  I will say no more!!!

Have a nice weekend!

Bob the Bartender, on his way to Trump's Casino in Atlantic City.

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

I hate to be a nitpicker, but couldn't the A which Ben drew on the top of that barrel for Barnabas just as well have meant A for Abigail as it did A for Angelique?

I don't mean to dump on Abigail, but I think that it's fair to say that Ms. Abigail will never be confused with someone as kind and selfless, as say, Mother Teresa or Florence Nightingale.  In fact, I think that Joshua's little sister is the personification of the word termagant: an overbearing or nagging woman, a shrew.  That's one heck of a witch in my vocabulary!

Bob the Bartender, who wishes that Abigail could be kind towards everyone, sort of like the benign and non-judgmental:


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Minerva Trask!!!

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

No doubt, like many of you, I've just abot had it with Barnabas' capricious romantic whims.  He loves Josette, but has a fling with the maid Angelique, on the side down in sunny Martinique.

Josette runs off with Jeremiah and old Barn is ready to get it on again with the beautiful Angelique.  But no, now Barn's, once again, mesmerized by those lovely brown eyes of Josette.  Jeez, make up your mind already, Mr. B.!

That being said, as drop-dead gorgeous as Angelique is, what she did to little Sarah today goes beyond the pale.  Letting a child suffer horribly to win back the reluctant (and somewhat, doltish)  Mr. B. is intolerable.  

What an evil woman, Angelique is!  My late grandfather had the perfect expression for her: "Messalina, mala femina!!!"  (Messalina, the wanton wife of Emperor Claudius, evil woman!!!)

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender, who thinks it's too bad that Barnabas and the ditsy Millicent can't marry. They certainly deserve one another!

Dear Fellow Dark Shadows Fans,

Did the quilt covering the bed in Mr. and Mrs. Jeremiah Collins' honeymoon suite look vaguely familiar to you?  I swear that I've seen that same quilt in many other DS locations.

For example, I've seen that same quilt draped over the couch in the living room of the Evans' cottage.  In addition, I think that same quilt was folded up on Adam's bed in the West Wing of Collinwood.  And I think that Julia placed the same quilt over Joe Haskell when she was treating Joe for his self-inflicted knife wound in Josette's room in the Old House.  

That darn quilt shows up in more placed than that hand-carved Count Petofi hand-in-the-box relic.  It's quite remarkable how well perserved both the quilt and the box have remained over the centuries.

Sincerely,

Bob the Bartender, who thinks Mrs. Johnson should use some more polish to help reduce some of those awful scuff marks on the furniture and wooden paneling at  Collinwood.

When Naomi yanked at that woman's "arm" and the phony appendage broke free in her hand, how did Joan Bennett keep a straight face?  I'll bet if Louis Edmonds had to do that scene, he would have bust a gut in performing it.

In an episode of the great series M*A*S*H, Alan Alda (Hawkeye Pierce) has a nightmare and somebody pulls off his phony arms during a dream sequence.  The M*A*S*H  scene is just as tacky and silly as Naomi's "bloody arm dream."

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The loose arm looks like the same one Jeff Clark had in the box that he delivers to the immortal Dr. Eric Lang.  "Julia, when you do the experiment again."

Bob the Bartender, who thinks that the scene where the Frankenstein monster rips the wooden arm from actor Lionel Atwill's arm in "The Son of Frankenstein" was, in contrast, filmed very convincingly.

Originally posted by Bob the Bartender on the Dark Shadows: General Discussion Forum on February 26, 2002 at 08:18:20:

Dear Fellow DS Fans,

Apparently, the toddy is the drink of choice for most of the inhabitants of the Old House. I wonder if Ben ever brought a "hot" toddy to Mr. Barnabas to help soothe his sore throat? And speaking of "hot," what about that steamy scene between Ben and Angelique in the comely witch's bedroom today? I thought that we were going to be treated to a Dark Shadows version of "Lady Chatterly's Lover." (I think that I needed a toddy after that scene!)

Getting back to the subject of toddies, do you think that Bob Rooney still served toddies at the Blue Whale in 1968? Maybe Sam Evans or Willie Loomis ordered one for the road right when Bob was getting ready to close the bar at 3:00 AM. Toddies consist of rum, water, sugar and spices.

A final question, has anyone ever had a toddy in the last thirty years? I don't think that they serve them at P.J. Clarke's up on Third Avenue. Perhaps I'm missing a wonderful libation.

Siscerely,

Bob the Bartender, who leaves you with the late, great Jim Morrison's plaintive plea, "Oh show me the way to the next whiskey bar!"

Originally posted by Bob the Bartender on the Dark Shadows: General Discussion Forum on February 14, 2002 at 08:28:47:

Dear DS Fellow Fans,

If I were Barnabas, I think that I would have far more important things to accomplish (or obtain) with the "secret magic number of the universe" than trying to drive the good Dr. Hoffman around the bend.

I would use the "secret magic number of the universe" to divine the winning numbers for the following games of chance: Power Ball, The Big Game, The Irish Sweepstakes, the table games of both the Las Vegas and Atlantic City Casinos, and, every lottery in each of the fifty states of the Union!

Apparently, the "secret magic nmber of the universe" is an almost ineffable incantation. Lord knows, I had the TV volume up at full blast when Barnabas recited the all-important words (apparently in Latin). But, alas, to no avail. I still couldn't quite decipher what Barnabas was saying. I think that I'll ask my old high school Latin teacher (Brother Ignatius) if he can lip-read Mr.B.'s silent whisperings.

Bob the Bartender

PS Apparently, the Collinsport Army/Navy store was a having a sale on those brown Latvian Navy WAVE uniforms. (Carolyn looked just smashing in her sailor suit. How can Tony resist her in that outfit?)