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Topics - Bob_the_Bartender

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16
Current Talk '24 I / Through Sight and Sound and Faceless Terror...
« on: January 07, 2023, 01:01:15 AM »
Hey, gang,

I venture to say that every Dark Shadows fan, especially those of a “certain” age, can perfectly recite the truly enigmatic words of Angelique’s Dream Curse:

Through sight and sound and faceless terror,

Through endless corridors by trial and error,

Ahead a blazing light does burn,

And one door leads to the point of return.

One question about these stirring words that I’ve thought about over the years, is which DS writer actually wrote those famous words? Was it Sam Hall, Gordon Russell, Ron Sproat or one of the other DS writers? Some of the most memorable lines on DS were written by Gordon Russell, such as Barnabas’ pithy remark, which he uttered in the Blue Whale, “Serenity is my favorite emotion.”   [santa_azn]

You know, several lifelong, rabid fans of the Green Bay Packers have made arrangements to have their coffins interiors lined in Packer bay green and cheese gold colors and to be attired in Packer sweatshirts featuring the retired numbers of such Packer greats as Bart Starr, Ray Nitschke and Herb Adderley. Some diehard Packer fans even have the numbers of those Packer greats carved into their gravestones along with the inspirational words of the great Green Bay Packers coach, the legendary Vince Lombardi. (I wonder if our DS cousin, Gerard, being a proud native of The Badger State, regularly wears Packer green and gold to display his undying Packer allegiance?)

Well, I wonder if some equally loyal and fanatical DS fans have made similar pre-arrangements to insure that their coffins with be decorated exactly the same as the coffin Barnabas crammed into during his four years on the show? Will some DS fans make arrangements to be clothed in their coffins, wearing the same Inverness coat Barnabas always wore on the show, even during the warm summer months in Collinsport? (Even the legendary Bela “Dracula” Lugosi arranged to be attired in his famous Dracula cape in his coffin.)

Who knows, maybe some more loyal and dedicated DS fans will even arrange to have some memorable DS quotes, carved into their headstones, such as, “Don’t Go Tomcatting Around Collinsport!” (the unfailingly gracious Mordecai Grimes), “What Do You With  a Drunken Sailor?” (the water-logged ghost of poor and unfortunate Bill Malloy) and “Let the Legions of the Damned Salute You!” (Warlock Nicholas Blair’s Especially Touching Love Paean to Maggie Evans).  [santa_evil]

I could go on, but what limits could there possibly be for any lifelong DS fan to express their love and affection for the beloved residents of Collinsport, Maine as they pass over to the other side?

Bob the Bartender, who looks forward to being attired in my coffin, wearing my stylish Bob Rooney Sears-Roebuck Royal Stewart flannel shirt and with a pack of Bob’s trademark El Producto cigars placed in my breast shirt pocket to accompany me throughout eternity.  [carols]




17
Calendar Events / Announcements '24 I / A Book For Angelique!
« on: January 03, 2023, 07:27:21 PM »
Hey, gang,

I found out today that Bill O’Reilly’s next and final book in his superb “Killing” series will be “Killing the Witches,” covering the Salem witch trials of 1692 to 1693. Sadly, 20 people were hanged for allegedly practicing the “devil’s magic” in Massachusetts.

No doubt, Angelique/Cassandra will be there bright and early at the local Collinsport Barnes & Noble, when the book goes on sale, appropriately enough, on this upcoming Halloween Day.

Having read a number of Mr. O’Reilly’s past books, I especially look forward to reading his take on this sorry chapter in early American history.

Bob

PS Maybe “Battling” Bill O’Reilly will cite both Judah Zachery and the beautiful apostate, Miranda Duval in his book?  [nods]  [funnygif]

18
Hey, gang,

Tonight the COZI TV Channel airs five excellent horror films, we’ve probably all seen and enjoyed over the years. The schedule of films (all Eastern Standard Time) is:

6:00PM The Wolf Man (1941) No doubt, both Quentin Collins and Chris Jennings’’ “favorite” horror film. I’ll bet they both could relate to Larry Talbot’s extremely unfortunate decision to visit that gypsy camp out on the moors.

7:30 PM The Mummy (1932) I wonder if a courting Roger Collins and Laura Ratcliffe caught this eerie flick on a date at the Collinsport Cinema in 1956?

9:00 PM Dracula (1931) The definitive creature of the night film. This flick must have
really struck a cord with Barnabas Collins, when Barnabas was watching this film on the “Creature Features” Saturday night films broadcast out of Portland, Maine with his cousins Roger and David Collins in the Collinwood family tv room.

10:00 PM The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954) This 1950s horror classic about a group of American scientists encountering a mysterious man-fish along the Amazon River in Brazil is said to be Willie Loomis’ all-time favorite fright flick. Willie especially enjoyed the beautiful, and strangely erotic, aquatic pas de deux performed by the beautiful and decidedly zaftig Julie Adams and the obviously beguiled and thunderstruck gill-man.

12:00 AM The Invisible Man (1933) This highly imaginative film, starring that renowned and unfailingly grandiloquent film and stage actor Claude Rains, and directed by the legendary James
Whale (Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein), tells the story of Dr. Jack Griffin, a brilliant scientific researcher, who discovers a new drug which renders him invisible.

Undoubtedly, such renowned Collinsport scientific researchers as Dr. Eric Lang and Dr. Cyrus Longworth would have tipped their hats in great respect for their fellow colleague, a truly inspired man of science!

So, tonight, I’ll settle down with my microwave popcorn and Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate (sugar-free, of course) in front of the tv and enjoy over six hours of truly legendary Hollywood horror entertainment! What better way to ring in the festive Halloween season?  [ScaredGhost]  [Zombie_Hand_Grave]  [HapHalloVamp]

19
Current Talk '24 I / Which Was More Tedious....
« on: August 23, 2022, 11:27:42 PM »
The Dream Curse Or Tad’s Playroom?

Hey, gang,

I’ve been recently watching some of the 1968 Angelique-inspired Dream Curse episodes and also the 1970 Gerard Stiles haunting of Collinwood episodes. DS fans have expressed varying opinions on these two storylines. For example, Robin Vogel, in her superb “Robservations” here on this site, has opined that she found the Dream Curse to become tiresome after ten or so DS characters had experienced the increasingly terrifying dream. Personally, I enjoyed the Dream Curse, especially when Dr. Julia Hoffman and Willie Loomis experienced Angelique’s Dream Curse; Grayson Hall and John Karlen literally each chewed up the scenery with great elan as they staggered and made their way from door-to-door in that eerie limbo-like Dream Curse room.

It’s too bad that not quite every DS character got to experience the Dream Curse. I would have liked to have seen the venerable Eagle Hill Cemetery caretaker experience the dream; it would have probably looked like Mr. Magoo fumbling through those “endless corridors,” and trying to keep his prince-nez glasses from steaming up in that oh-so-spooky place.

 And, what if the haughty Roger Collins had been beckoned by someone (probably Madam Janet Findlay or possibly Leona Eldridge), and upon observing the squalid condition of the Dream Curse room, Roger exclaimed, “How did I ever end up in a Hell-hole like this!?!”

If Blue Whale bartender Bob Rooney, my personal favorite DS character, somehow took part in the Dream Curse, I suspect that, upon entering the Dream Curse room,  the blunt and direct Collinsport saloon-keeper would unleash a steady stream of “colorful” and “descriptive” invectives that would make even the late Red Fox and Andrew Dice Clay blush in embarrassment! “What the ‘expletive-deleted’ is this God-d@mned place!?!”

As to Tad’s now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t playroom which we were shown during the summer of 1970, I found the room to be a real sleep-inducer, even better than Ambien or Restorol PM. To see David Collins and Hallie Stokes initially express great uncertainty and anxiety in that room and then for them to temporarily (and repeatedly) morph into Tad Collins and Callie Stokes, respectively, got old in a hurry. And, weren’t the teenaged David and Hallie too old to be hanging out in a room, stocked with toys more suited for ten-year-olds to enjoy?

And, please, don’t get me going on Hallie Stokes’ incessant whining during this DS storyline. I felt very sorry that Hallie had lost both of her parents in a recent automobile accident. It’s terrible for a young person to lose a parent (or parents), when that person is not even in his or her twenties yet. But, oy vey, Hallie’s anxiety attacks were just too much to take. “Give that young girl a Xanax, will you, Dr. Hoffman!?!” And, the usually sage and thoughtful Professor Stokes hardly “distinguished” himself by deciding to bring his grieving niece to Collinwood (of ALL places!) to emotionally recover from her terrible personal loss. (Beirut or Benghazi would have been more “peaceful” than Collinwood, imo.)

Finally, after all of this playroom nonsense in the summer of 1970, when Julia (and later Barnabas) finally  travelled to 1840, the playroom was only seen once or twice in passing, and the ghosts Tad and Carrie, who were so important during the summer of 1970, were mere afterthoughts as young people during the 1840
Gerard Stiles/Judah Zachary storyline. In fact, actor David Henesy appeared as Tad Collins in only a few of the 1840 episodes before leaving the show for good.

So, even with its faults, I prefer the Dream Curse episodes to the narcolepsy-inducing Tad’s Playroom episodes. What say you?  [ghost_huh] [ghost_closedeyes]



20
Current Talk '24 I / Do You Think Barnabas Was/Is on Medicare?
« on: August 19, 2022, 05:37:30 PM »
Hey gang,

Since most of us “Dark Shadows kiddies” (as the late, great Louis Edmonds once nicknamed us), are now sexagenarians or even older, I wonder if Barnabas and the other DS characters signed up for our nation’s healthcare program?

When you think of it, Barnabas was already 172-years-old in 1967, well over the minimum age for Medicare membership, when the avaricious Willie Loomis released Barnabas from his chained coffin. Yet, don’t you think Mr. B. Would have a hard time establishing his age with the good people at the Social Security System? And,  besides, after introducing himself to Mrs. Stoddard and the rest of the Collins family as a member of “the British branch of the Collins family, could Barnabas enroll in Medicare as a resident
 alien?

Let’s say Barnabas could establish his credentials with the Social Security System, do you think Barnabas would settle on just Parts A and B on Medicare or would the shrewd and savvy Barnabas opt for Prescription Parts C and D with Medicare? I don’t know, but considering Barnabas’s longtime relationship with Dr. Julia Hoffman AND Julia’s status as the “world’s most persistent house guest at the great house of Collinwood, maybe Julia kept Barnabas and the rest of the Collinses, well-supplied with any needed drugs/prescriptions from Julia’s private hospital, Windcliff?

And, maybe Barnabas could supplement his retirement income by becoming a paid spokesman for supplemental Medicare prescription plans like former New York Jets quarterback, Joe “Willie” Namath and Jimmy “Dy-No-Mite” Walker?

I can see it now, Barnabas attired in his three- piece Brooks Brothers suit and Inverness coat and brandishing his Uber-cool wolf’s head cane, saying from the Old House drawing room, “Friends, this is Barnabas Collins of Collinsport, Maine, here to urge you all to take full advantage of Medicare’s benefits, as I did when I became eligible for Medicare membership back in 1966. Don’t miss out on any of Medicare’s extensive benefits, like I did to get free dental work on my rather long incisor teeth, regular eye checkups, so that I could still read the I-Ching wands at my advanced age and help with the inevitable “bladder problems,” that a person of a “certain age” is bound to experience with the passing of the years.

So don’t delay and call the number on your tv screen so that our extremely friendly and helpful agents,
including my good friends Mr. Buzz Hackett and Mr. Bob Rooney, can help get on your way to receiving full medical coverage and so many wonderful benefits. Call right now,  before ‘Jeopardy’ and ‘Matlock’ come on.”  [Spooky_Ghost]

21
Hey, gang,

So, I'm watching the crime drama, "Shaft," which I haven't seen since I first saw it over 50 years ago in 1971. Richard Roundtree portrays John Shaft, a NYC private eye, who attempts to rescue the kidnapped daughter of friend, who was taken hostage by some gangsters.

In one scene, John Shaft, posing as a friendly bartender, talks with two hoods in a bar. When one of the gangsters realizes who the bartender really is, the mobster curses out John Shaft and spits on him, prompting John Shaft to crack the offending hood over the head with a bottle of scotch, creating a bloody mess. That surly gangster was portrayed by veteran character actor Geogre Struss, who also portrayed Buffie Harrington's sometime dockworker/boyfriend, Steve, who made John Yeager's "acquaintance" outside of the Eagle Tavern during the 1970 Parallel Time storyline on DS. (I think PT Steve suffered more physical damage from John Yeager than he did from John Shaft.)

Another gangster in the film is portrayed by actor Edmund Hashim, who, as Collinwood handyman Fred Block, received one, final, frozen and deadly embrace from the newly risen Angelique Collins, also during the 1970 Parallel Time storyline. In "Shaft," Mr. Hashim gets plugged by a tommy-gun totting John Shaft during the film's climax. (I think getting terminal hypothermia from Angelique rather than getting machine-gunned by an angry private detective, is a much better way to depart this mortal coil.) 

Oh yeah, in an accompanying dvd extra on the filming of "Shaft," you get to see noted film director Gordon Parks, giving instructions to a stuntman on how to fall down a flight of apartment stairs after he has been riddled with machine gun fire in the film. At first, I didn't recognize the stuntman, what with a large Afro wig on, but then I realized that it was veteran film stuntman Alex Stevens, who portrayed both Chris Jennings and Quentin Collins when they transformed into werewolves on DS.

Seeing Mr. Stevens falling down that flight of stairs in "Shaft," reminded me of when Mr. Stevens, attired as psychic Madame Janet Findlay, took a fatal fall down the Collinwood foyer stairs, much to Mrs. Stoddard's and Dr. Hoffman's absolute horror during the Quentin's ghost-haunting Collinwood storyline!

If you liked to see a film, which reflects the zeitgeist of the early 1970s (when DS was still on the air), I highly recommend the cool flick, "Shaft."

As the late, great Isaac Hayes sang during the film's opening credits:

"Who is the cat, who won't cop out,

When there's danger all about,

Shaft, right on, John Shaft!"

22
Current Talk '24 I / And Finally, A Name To Go With The Face!
« on: April 11, 2022, 01:58:17 PM »
Hey, gang,

So, I’m looking at the photos of the scenes from DS episodes today, and I see Barnabas being harangued by that creepy Leviathan guy in episode number 915. And, the Leviathan is identified as being called: “Adlar.”

Wow, it’s been 53 years since that momentous DS first aired and I finally get a given name to associate with that “handsome” face! “Adlar” is apparently a German name, meaning “noble strength.” When I’ve seen this particular DS episode over the years, I’ve thought that “Adlar” might have been portrayed by the late, great Roy Scheider (of Orange, NJ), who was so great in “The French Connection” and in the “Jaws” films (although, the less said about “Jaws:The Revenge,” the better!).

But, no, “Adlar” was, in fact, portrayed by actor Pierrino Mascarino. (And, with a name like that, Mr. Mascarino would have been a natural in either “The Godfather” or “The Sopranos,” not to mention “The Montefuscos”!) Apparently, this one and only appearance on DS was one of Mr. Mascarino’s first screen roles; he later appeared on Broadway and also on many other television shows.

Of course DS Episode 915 also features the first and only appearance of the lovely and extremely talented stage and film actress, Marsha Mason, as Audrey, the Leviathan vampire girl. In the episode, Barnabas, in a dream sequence, puts the bite on Audrey on the Collinsport docks, outside of The Blue Whale (a favorite “imbibing spot” for Mr. B. over the centuries). Later, we find out that Audrey was another original Leviathan, summoned by “Adlar” to intimidate Barnabas and get him to play ball with them.

You know, after the treacherous Jeb Hawkes betrayed the Leviathans and Nicholas Blair at Jeb and Carolyn Stoddard’s “holy” marriage ceremony at the Leviathan altar, I’ve often wondered what happened to “Adlar,” Audrey, Mr. Strak, Haza, Oberon and the rest of the Leviathan gang? Is Mr. Strak now tending bar at the Kit-Kat Lounge in Portland, Maine? Are Haza and Oberon operating a Bed & Breakfast Inn in tony Bay Head, New
Jersey? And, are “Adlar” and Audrey, chilling out on the dock on Duval Street in Key West, Florida, entertaining all of the tourists as America’s “southernmost ghouls and goblins” as the sun is setting on that beautiful American vacation spot?  [easter_huh] [Bunny Eggs]

23
Hey, gang,

I recently saw Dan Curtis’ 1976 thriller, “Burnt Offerings” on dvd. I had seen the film back during the 1970s, but I didn’t remember much of it.

In the film, Karen Black and Oliver Reed play a marrried couple, Marian and Ben Rolf, who rent a mansion for the summer along with their 12-year-old son, Davey. Bette Davis plays Oliver Reed’s Aunt Elizabeth, who moves in with them. I won’t reveal the whole plot, but the beautiful mansion turns out to be a living entity, which eventually takes over the Rolfs’ lives.

The dvd includes a commentary by Dan Curtis, Karen Black and the film’s screenwriter, author William Nolan. The mansion used in the film is called Dunsmuir House, which is located in Oakland, California. The mansion sort of reminds me of the McGruder Mansion on DS.

The great Eileen Heckart and the great Burgess Meredith appear as the Allardyce siblings, who rent the mansion to the Rolf family. Their aged mother is a recluse, who lives in the attic and is never seen. Marian Rolf agrees to leave meals for Mrs. Allardyce outside of her room.

Another eerie character we see in dream sequences is a silent hearse driver, played by veteran character Anthony James. He is best known for his roles in, “In the Heat of the Night,” “Bonnie and Clyde” and “The Graduate.” Anthony James was a tall, thin man with bad complexion; he excelled at playing wired characters. I think he would have been great on DS, as either a Leviathan or one of Judah Zachary’s satanic followers.

In the film, there is a dream sequence, where Oliver Reed’s character, remembers standing at his mother’s grave during her funeral service. The young boy looks back from the gravesite to see that creepy hearse driver (Anthony James) smiling at him. Dan Curtis said that when he was a young boy in Conneticut, he was at his mother’s funeral service at a funeral home, and he noticed that the hearse driver and the pallbearers were off to the side, laughing and joking among themselves. This shocked and angered DC very much and he never
forgot it. DC said he thought that would be a good scene in “Burnt Offerings.”

On the dvd, DC mentions that he saw Karen Black in a Broadway show, while DS was in the air. He was so impressed by Karen Black’s performance, that he wanted to cast her in a role in DS. Ms. Black expressed regret that she  ever did appear in DS. Although she did appear in several other supernatural films. William Nolan opined that Karen Black would have REALLY been cast as a horror film actress if she had appeared on DS. I don’t think that Ms. Black or Mr. Curtis appreciated that blunt remark.

At the end of the film, as the Rolf family is in their car and about to finally leave the spooky house, Marian Rolf decides to say goodbye to the aged Mrs. Allardyce in her attic room. Dan Curtis was at a sneak preview of the film, and he said the theater audience all shouted out, “Don’t go back in the house!” Sadly, Marian dies go back into the house with disastrous results. DC said he forgot that “Night of Dark Shadows” had a similar ending, when Quentin Collins went back into Collinwood to retrieve one of his paintings. (And, we all know how that film ended!)

There is a scene in the film, where we see a number of photographs of all the poor, unfortunate people, who stayed at this creepy house. One of the photographs is of Dan Curtis himself, wearing a suit that looks like the suits Quentin Collins wore during the 1897 storyline in DS. Mr. Curtis said he wanted to “immortalize” himself on the silver screen.

Overall, I think that “Burnt Offerings” is an enjoyable supernatural film with an excellent cast.


24
Current Talk '24 I / Regarding Collinsport Coiffures
« on: March 21, 2022, 02:56:22 PM »
Hey, gang,

One aspect of “Dark Shadows” which has not been previously discussed was the various hair styles worn by the DS characters.

During the very first episode of DS, we saw Vicky Winters, wearing that very long hairdo, which she wore pretty much for the next two years. Of course, we also got our first look at Maggie Evans, resplendent as a tough-talking blond, For reasons never explained, Maggie quickly changed her hair color to brunette and sometimes, reddish brown.

Mrs. Stoddard always wore her dark hair in a very high and elegant manner, except at night, when she sometimes let her hair down. Carolyn Stoddard debuted on DS with a gloriously brilliant blond hair style, that was so popular in the 1960s with such other beautiful, young women as Jean Seberg, Carol Lynley and Sandra Dee. Later on in the show, Carolyn’s blond hair did not seem as shining. ((Although, maybe the color was just off on my television set?)

When we first saw the esteemed Dr. Julia Hoffman, she was sporting, to be quite frank, a sort of unkempt, “blach” hair style. And, then, during the time when Barnabas was trying to drive her around the bend (if I remember correctly) she suddenly shows up at Collinwood with this short, tapered hair style. I tell you, she almost looked like a completely different woman, with that very attractive and flattering look. (You think that Barnabas would have come to his senses and take a romantic interest in Julia, but, I digress.)

Probably the greatest hair “metamorphosis”on DS occurred, when Sabrina Stuart, Chris Jennings’ former fiancée and sister of the always-mellow Ned Stuart, showed up in Collinsport in an almost catatonic state and as gray as Mrs. Santa Claus and former First Lady Barbara Bush. After Carolyn magnanimously realized that she was the “third wheel” in the romantic trio of Chris, Sabrina and herself, she very graciously took Sabrina to a hair salon, where Sabrina regained her previous glorious brunette hair color. That trip to the hair stylist certainly restored Chris’ attraction to Sabrina.

Yet, all of these hair color and hair style changes on DS, got me to thinking that it was too bad that we never got to see any of the DS ladies, actually going to the local Collinsport hair salon (or as they were previously called, “ beauty parlors”) for their coiffures. Just think of all the juicy gossip the ladies could have exchanged as they got their hair done at “Mr. Kenneth’s of Collinsport” or at “Hannah Stokes House of Beauty”? ( By the way, didn’t Hannah Stokes have an especially “flamboyant” hair style herself?)

And, let’s not forget the handsome men of Collinsport. Where did they go in town to get their hair cut? Was there a “Luigi of Palermo” barber shop in town? Maybe there was a folksy American barber in Collinsport like Floyd the barber in Mayberry, NC? Perhaps Sheriff George Patterson’s younger brother, Cliff, was that homegrown Collinsport barber? (I hope Cliff did NOT inherit his older brother’s unfortunate male pattern baldness.)

It would have been great to see Barnabas get an “after-hours” (when else?) hair cut at either Luigi’s or Cliff’s local barber shop. Maybe Luigi or Cliff might tactfully suggest to Barnabas that he was a bit too old for the Buster Brown “bangs” look? They’d possibly suggest to Mr. B. that he’d look much more handsome with either a pompadour or a crew cut like baseball player Pete Rose or astronaut Gordon Cooper.

And, speaking of pompadours, just how demanding do you think Leviathan acolyte Bruno Hess was when he strolled into the local barber shop to get his magnificent head of hair cut? Heck, I could see the “slightly” narcissistic Bruno demanding both as manicure and a pedicure from the astonished barbers. “We don’ta do men’s fingernails and toenails back in Sicily or here!” Luigi would likely protest.  No doubt, Cliff would also inform Bruno that he didn’t do nails either and that Bruno might want to go to either “Mr. Kenneth’s” or Hannah’s establishments to get his nails done.

And, with Roger continuing to lose his hair, perhaps Luigi and Cliff eventually charged the balding Roger, only half-price for a hair cut? I would have liked to have seen Luigi or Cliff try to engage Roger in light conversation about Red Sox baseball or attractive women or local and national politics as barbers all over America are wont to do. (Somehow, I don’t think that Roger was an especially good tipper.)

Alas, we never got to see Willie Loomis get a hair cut or see little Davey Collins get his very first hair cut in Collinsport. All these truly memorable tonsorial DS moments would have been very appealing and even heart-warming to see, I venture to say.






25
Current Talk '24 I / Re: 1970PT, Birdie & Today’s DS Photos
« on: March 09, 2022, 05:57:19 PM »
Hey gang,

Today’s photos of the 1970PT storyline reminded me of a thread posted by the long-too-absent Birdie concerning those fascinating glimpses into that parallel band of time.

As the Leviathan storyline was winding down, we saw Barnabas searching the abandoned East Wing in an attempt to locate the vampiric Megan Todd’s hiding place. As he opened a double door there, he was shocked to see a brilliantly lit room with opulent furnishings. Initially, Barnabas witnessed Elizabeth Stoddard and an unusually attired Julia Hoffman, squabbling over some domestic matter concerning Angelique. After Barnabas showed the room to a perplexed Dr. Hoffman, Mrs. Stoddard and Roger also observed the room and its familiar, yet strangely different inhabitants, which disturbed Elizabeth and Roger greatly.

Professor Stokes described this phenomenon as an actual example of the theory of parallel time, where similar people were leading completely different lives in parallel bands of time. Barnabas, once again a vampire, “courtesy” of Jeb Hawkes, thought that by entering this other band of time, he might be freed of the vampire curse. (We all know how “well” that worked out for Barnabas, but I digress.)

Instead of reacting with fear and uncertainty over the discovery of this vista into parallel time, Birdie suggested that the residents of Collinwood should have reveled in its existence, even enjoying these glimpses of themselves leading completely different lives. Birdie thought that Elizabeth, Roger and the rest of the family could sit there in that East Room doorway and observe the nightly (or daytime) tableau, as if it were a different dramatic or comedic presentation for their personal enjoyment.

I thought this was a brilliant suggestion and concept by Birdie. I could see Elizabeth and Roger, setting up Lazy Boy Recliners at the doorway, with Mrs. Johnson bringing up snack trays filled with potato chips and Jiffy-Pop-Popcorn aling with drinks (Diet Coke for Mrs. Stoddard and snifters of brandy for Roger, of course).

I venture to say that sitting there, in anticipation for that night’s “performance,” would be just like attending the opening of a Broadway play or the premiere of a much-anticipated film, like “North-by-Northwest” or “The Godfather.” I could see Roger, sitting in his extremely comfortable Lazy Boy Recliner and turning to his sister and saying, “Well, Liz, what do you think tonight’s performance will be: ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf,’ ‘Last Tango in Paris,’ or ‘Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein’?” Ah, the possibilities for dramatic or comedic excellence would be literally endless!

Heck, if the ever-enterprising Jason McGuire were still around in the great house of Collinwood, he might have even suggested to Elizabeth that they could make serious money, by opening up that East Room doorway into Parallel Time to the cash-paying public. It would be like the Belasco Theatre had come to Collinsport, Maine! Maybe Jason could also negotiate a deal with Blue Whale bartender/proprietor Bob Rooney to set up a liquor kiosk for the Collinwood “theatergoers” to enjoy drinks as they took in the dramatic, sometimes whimsical and possibly concupiscent goings-on in that “other” Collinwood. No doubt, the original Reverend Trask would have been absolutely appalled at such a salacious display in a God-fearing community like Collinsport, Maine. (Although, I’m not sure if the Rev. Gregory Trask would have agreed with his distinguished ancestor in his presumptive opinion of the “PT Collinsport Art Players.”)

In conclusion, I want to thank our fellow cousin, Birdie, for her truly inspired vision of what the DS characters should have done in reaction to that amazing discovery in the East Wing of Collinwood. Kudos to you, Birdie!!   [xmas-snowball]



26
Hey, gang,

I just saw “The Age of Adaline,” an excellent film featuring Blake Lively, Ellen Burstyn, Harrison Ford and Kathy Baker. Blake Lively stars as Adaline Bowman, a 29-year-old woman, born in 1908, who, as a result of a car accident and being simultaneously struck by lightning in 1937, literally ceases to age and remains a youthful woman.

The film explores how the ever-youthful Adaline is forced to move from city to city, change her name and avoid anyone who might know her from her earlier life. She has a daughter, who is nearly 80-years-old as the still youthful Adaline hits age 105.

As I watched this film, I was reminded of Quentin Collins’ similar ageless situation as a result of Count Petofi’s spell and Charles Delaware Tate’s portrait of Quentin. Quentin was about 27-years-old when we first saw him in 1897. For 72 years, Quentin moved from place to place, with pseudonyms like “Grant Douglas,” very much like Adaline Bowman until he ended up back in Collinsport. That would make him 99-years-“young.”

I wonder if Quentin saw this film, would it strike too close to home for him? How about if a bored Quentin just happened to catch a double-feature of “The Age of Adaline” and “The Green Mile” at the Collinsport Cinema? In the latter film, former prison guard Paul Edgecomb is apparently punished by God to live up to the age of 108 after having participated in the execution of the innocent John Coffey, a man, blessed with Divine healing
powers. Paul Edgecomb is forced to see everyone he loves eventually die as he lingers on in a nursing home.

How could Quentin stand to see his siblings Judith and Edward, his niece and nephew Nora and Jamison and even his own daughter and probably her own children all pass on before him as he never ages? Heck, even Carolyn Stoddard-Hawkes, David Collins and Maggie Evans would obviously notice Quentin’s Dorian Gray-like youthfulness today in 2022. I suppose both Barnabas and Dr. Hoffman would also both be dead by now.

On the dvd commentaries on “The Age of Adaline,” actress Ellen Burstyn, who portray’s  Adaline’s 80-year-old daughter, says that she would hate to live presumably forever like Adaline Bowman in the film. I’ve always thought the ever-youthful Quentin Collins situation was problematic, especially if DS had continued on for several more years.

People often say that it’s no fun getting old. But, in Quentin’s case, I wonder if he would gladly succumb to the infirmities of the aging process and the eventual conclusion of life rather than to live on and see everyone you
ever loved die before you?

27
Hey, gang,

I watched the Brian Wilson biography, “Love and Mercy” last night. It’s an excellent film on the troubled life of the legendary Beach Boys composer, lead singer and musician. After seeing Ms. Going’s name listed in the film’s opening credits, I almost didn’t recognize her as she appeared with blond hair as Audree Wilson, mother of the talented Wilson brothers.

I’ve seen Ms. Going in several films since her days as an alumna of the 1991 DS series. She is a terrific actress and a very attractive woman. Has Ms. Going ever appeared at any of the past Dark Shadows Festivals?

28
Calendar Events / Announcements '24 I / Vampires: The Supermarket Magazine
« on: November 12, 2021, 10:38:37 PM »
Hey, gang,

So, I’m standing at the supermarket, waiting in a humongous line, which will take seemingly forever to check-out, and I spot a magazine next to the “TV-Guide” and “The Enquirer” (a personal favorite), with the intriguing title, “Vampires.” I immediately grab a copy from the magazine rack and start to read it.

The magazine is one of those periodicals you frequently see in supermarkets, covering such varied and eclectic subjects as popular US presidents, The Rolling Stones, “The Sopranos,” and UFOs, etc. This “Vampires” issue begins with the origins of the vampire legend, dating back to the years of 1428 to 1477, of the reign of Romanian leader, Vlad III, also “affectionately” known as “Vlad the Impaler.” Vlad was a real “charmer,” combining all of the warmth and conviviality of Count Petofi, Judah Zachery and Ralphie Ciffarreto of “The Sopranos.” As the Romanian ruler, ‘ol Vlad used to routinely behead his enemies (a foreshadowing of Judah Zachery?) and place their severed heads on wooden spikes to discourage other possible enemy invaders from entering Romania. In addition, when emissaries from Turkey declined to remove their turbans in a show of respect to the Romanian ruler, the impish Vlad had their turbans nailed to the tops of their heads to remind them of their lack of courtesy.

The magazine cites Irish writer Bram Stoker, author of the seminal vampire novel, “Dracula,” which created great interest in the old Romanian and Hungarian legends, inspired by Vlad and the rumors of the undead.

Of course, the legendary cinematic vampires are discussed, including the great Bela Lugosi, the distinguished Sir Christopher Lee, and the most improbable vampire, Tom Cruise, the pride of Glen Ridge, New Jersey.

The magazine then lists several of the popular vampire television series; “True Blood,” “The Vampire Diaries,” “Forever Knight,” and “Buffy, The Vampire Slayer,” among others are covered.  But, as I neared the end of this magazine, I noticed to my great surprise and annoyance there was no mention of the great and ground-braking “Dark Shadows.” Oh yeah, they had a photograph of actor Johnny Depp, in his Barnabas Collins get-up, and a brief mention that the 2012 DS film was “based on the 1960s ABC television series,” but that was it. No mention of Jonathan Frid, the originator of the unique “reluctant vampire,” no acknowledgement of DS creator
Dan Curtis or of the other actors and writers from the world’s greatest vampire series. Talk about an infamita!

I was glad to see that that “comprehensive” look into vampirism lasted less than a week on the supermarket magazine stands, to be replaced by a magazine giving us all the inside story of the fascinating lives of the curiously self-effacing Kardashian family.


29
Current Talk '24 I / Who’s More Evil: David Collins or Rebecca Penmark?
« on: October 17, 2021, 06:49:57 PM »
Okay, many of of you are probably asking, “Who the heck is Rhoda Penmark?” Rhoda Penmark was the nasty child, who murdered two people in the 1956 psychological thriller, “The Bad Seed.” Actress Patty McCormack portrayed Rhoda Penmark, for which she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. She also portrayed Adrianna Laserva’s angst-ridden mother on “The Sopranos.”

In the film, Rhoda drowns one of her grade school classmates and literally burns to death, the janitor in her parents’ apartment building. (She’s also suspected of murdering an elderly neighbor, when her family lived in Wichita, Kansas.)

Young David Collins tried unsuccessfully to kill his father, Roger, by sabotaging the bleeder valve break system on Roger’s snazzy Mustang. Fortunately, Roger survived the 100 mile crash, actually a 100 foot crash, on the steep road leading down from Collinwood. David also imprisoned Vicky Winters, his long-suffering governess, in a locked off room of Collinwood, where Vicky was warned by the water-logged ghost of Collins Cannery executive Bill Malloy to leave Collinwood before she is murdered.

David also committed some other evil acts, but that was when he was first possessed by the malevolent ghost of Quentin Collins, and later by the Leviathan leader/slimy monster, Jeb Hawkes.

I have to go with Rhoda Penmark, a sociopathic child, with absolutely no sense of right and wrong. In fact, Rhoda should have teamed up with either Alexander and/or Michael, the Leviathan children, who would finally mature into the adult Jeb Hawkes. Imagine if new Collins family governess  Maggie Evans had to contend with BOTH Michael and Rhoda Penmark? Oy vey!!!


30
Current Talk '24 I / The House By The Sea a la Ocean Grove, NJ
« on: October 01, 2021, 03:20:45 PM »
Hey, gang,

One of my favorite aspects of the Adam storyline on DS was warlock Nicholas Blair’s cool home, the House by the Sea, located on the rocky shores of Collinsport, Maine. I wonder if Mrs. Stoddard would have ever rented the house to Cassandra’s brother, if she knew that a Collins property would house a warlock, a female vampire, a man-made monster and his presumptive mate, not to mention a “resurrected” male vampire? A lot of weird stuff took place in that house, including a Black Mass, celebrating Nicholas and Maggie Evans’ unholy “union.”

Anyway, I was driving along the beautiful New Jersey shoreline the other day, and as I drove through Ocean Grove, just below historic Asbury Park, I spotted a Victorian-style hotel on the beach, called, I kid you not, “The House By The Sea.” Wow, I almost expected to see Nicholas and Angelique, chilling out on the veranda!

Ocean Grove is a Christian seaside resort, which was founded in 1869. The architecture of the homes there resembles the 19th century architecture you see in New England, like in Collinsport, Maine, for example. A block away from the New Jersey “House By The Sea,” is Ocean Grove’s magnificent, “The Great Auditorium,” site of Sunday religious services and seaside concerts by such notables as Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, the late Davy Jones and Flo & Eddie, a/k/a Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan of The Turtles. No doubt, David Collins and Hallie Stokes would have enjoyed hearing “Daydream Believer” and “Happy Together” performed on the Jersey shore.

Of course, literally just up the block from “The House By The Sea” in Ocean Grove is Asbury Park’s famous Breeze Way, site of the dramatic scene in “The Sopranos,” where in a dream sequence (like so many landmark dream sequences in “Dark Shadows”) Tony Soprano realizes that Sal Bonpensiero is the traitor/rat and where Tony symbolically shoots Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri. I bet that Barnabas and Willie would invariably show up at Collinwood on Sunday night, just as Elizabeth, Roger, Carolyn, Maggie, Dr. Hoffman and Quentin were all assembled in the study to watch the latest episode of “The Sopranos” on HBO.

So, I guess there is an uncanny synchronicity between “Dark Shadows,” “The Sopranos,” Nicholas Blair, Tony Soprano and the seemingly ubiquitous House By The Sea.

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