Hey, gang,
So, I’m standing at the supermarket, waiting in a humongous line, which will take seemingly forever to check-out, and I spot a magazine next to the “TV-Guide” and “The Enquirer” (a personal favorite), with the intriguing title, “Vampires.” I immediately grab a copy from the magazine rack and start to read it.
The magazine is one of those periodicals you frequently see in supermarkets, covering such varied and eclectic subjects as popular US presidents, The Rolling Stones, “The Sopranos,” and UFOs, etc. This “Vampires” issue begins with the origins of the vampire legend, dating back to the years of 1428 to 1477, of the reign of Romanian leader, Vlad III, also “affectionately” known as “Vlad the Impaler.” Vlad was a real “charmer,” combining all of the warmth and conviviality of Count Petofi, Judah Zachery and Ralphie Ciffarreto of “The Sopranos.” As the Romanian ruler, ‘ol Vlad used to routinely behead his enemies (a foreshadowing of Judah Zachery?) and place their severed heads on wooden spikes to discourage other possible enemy invaders from entering Romania. In addition, when emissaries from Turkey declined to remove their turbans in a show of respect to the Romanian ruler, the impish Vlad had their turbans nailed to the tops of their heads to remind them of their lack of courtesy.
The magazine cites Irish writer Bram Stoker, author of the seminal vampire novel, “Dracula,” which created great interest in the old Romanian and Hungarian legends, inspired by Vlad and the rumors of the undead.
Of course, the legendary cinematic vampires are discussed, including the great Bela Lugosi, the distinguished Sir Christopher Lee, and the most improbable vampire, Tom Cruise, the pride of Glen Ridge, New Jersey.
The magazine then lists several of the popular vampire television series; “True Blood,” “The Vampire Diaries,” “Forever Knight,” and “Buffy, The Vampire Slayer,” among others are covered. But, as I neared the end of this magazine, I noticed to my great surprise and annoyance there was no mention of the great and ground-braking “Dark Shadows.” Oh yeah, they had a photograph of actor Johnny Depp, in his Barnabas Collins get-up, and a brief mention that the 2012 DS film was “based on the 1960s ABC television series,” but that was it. No mention of Jonathan Frid, the originator of the unique “reluctant vampire,” no acknowledgement of DS creator
Dan Curtis or of the other actors and writers from the world’s greatest vampire series. Talk about an infamita!
I was glad to see that that “comprehensive” look into vampirism lasted less than a week on the supermarket magazine stands, to be replaced by a magazine giving us all the inside story of the fascinating lives of the curiously self-effacing Kardashian family.
