Yes, it's been eons. Let's just say that 2005 has developed into possibly the worst year of my life (and that's considering that there has been a lot of competition for that particular honor). No guarantees about how regular these columns will be in the coming months. I'll do my best but...
One lonely little fashion note, and that has to do with Carolyn's tight light plaid slacks. It is always so disconcerting to see any of the DS women in trousers. Maybe it's because the show is so much of a period piece for me.
Anyhow, it's Day 15. I've been writing these columns since November of 2004 and yet we're officially just over the two week mark. Even if you take into consideration that I haven't been exactly regular in my postings, this is episode 99. The show had been on for approximately 5 months and yet little Miss Winters is only into her second week in Collinsport, Maine. Both episodes brought to us by Ron Sproat and Lela Swift.
We open in the drawing room where Mrs. J in her official housekeeper uniform (dark dress, orthopedic shoes, Mrs. Bates wig, smock, and duster) is calling over to Burke's hotel room to report in. Well, not so much report in as freak out. The house is haunted! (cue the scary music and the credits). Burke is nonplussed to begin with--I guess you don't expect sensible women like Mrs. J to be jumpy about ghosts--then she starts calling him doctor and talking about her arthritis. Burke catches on pretty quick and surmises someone else (Carolyn) is in the room with her. They set up a time to meet.
Carolyn and Vicki are having coffee while Mrs. J "dusts." Considering it's the woman's first day and all, they're awfully open and blase about their discussion. Mrs. Johnson really hasn't been their long enough to be part of the wallpaper. Carolyn, no surprise, wants to rehash Vicki's interactions with Burke on the road to and within the city limits of Bangor. She's still particularly interested in why Vicki chose to call Roger for a ride home.
It has to be my age or the state of my apartment that had my eye firmly fixed on Sarah Johnson's dusting technique. There's dusting and there's "movie dusting." She's doing movie dusting.
Hotel suite: We hear Burke pressuring Ezra (one of the taciturn locals he's trying to get to work for him) for an answer on the phone. Mrs. Johnson comes on in and she's disturbed. She tells him about the sobbing and she's not buying any suggestion that it was in her mind or a dream. Burke considers the matter and finally posits that if someone were crying in another room in the house, the ventilation system could be carrying the sound elsewhere.
I like this scene for a number of reasons. Over the run of the show, we get variants of this scene over and over again. Someone (usually a young woman) recounts their experience with a supernatural turn of events and gets told (usually by a man) that it had to have been a figment of their imagination or dream or a hallucination. Then the person who had the experience gets hysterical and more adamant. Now here we've got a person relatively calmly recounting her experience. Mrs. Johnson is upset but she's able to articulate what happened, clearly and cogently. Burke accepts what she says. Of course, he's providing a logical explanation, but it's one that makes sense.
Way back in the day, my late grandfather worked as a security guard for a company that owned a large mansion in the city. Whenever it stormed the wind would blow over and down the chimney and it would sound like a woman wailing throughout the house. Soooo, big gloomy turn of the century mansion, minimal light, creepy storm outside, screaming sound effects inside, checking the mansion out was not anybody's favorite detail.
Anyhow, Burke really doesn't want his more reliable spy (Davy doesn't count) deciding to give up. Sarah assures him that's not happening. She owes it to Mr. Malloy to keep the faith. David gets a mention then they move on to Vicki. It's kind of cute how there's an expression of total consternation when Burke realizes that Vicki is frightened of him and that she called Roger of all people to come get her. He also doesn't get why. Enlightenment isn't coming any time soon because he's got a visitor. Mrs. J hightails it into the kitchenette.
Dolph Sweet as the aforementioned Ezra comes on in. He and his cohorts aren't taking Burke up on his offer. They're sticking to Mrs. Stoddard. It's implausible in the same way the citizenry of Bedford Falls rallies around George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life, but there you go. At least here it's already been established that Liz has a certain effect on the men who work for her, which I don't think Burke has going on (at least not with Dolph Sweet and crew). Burke is once again left nonplussed and now not a little pissed. It's Revenge Time. He calls Collinwood, gets Carolyn, and makes a date. Which is really kind of lame for a soap. If her announced to Sarah that he was going to take Carolyn's virtue or something it would probably be more worthy of the suspenseful music cue, but there you go.
Back at Collinwood, Carolyn is now totally manic and makes up with Vicki. Vicki once again does her best to warn her off of Burke. It's been literally months since I last watched DS and this schtick still seems old. Carolyn is in full
Isabella Linton mode. She reveals that Burke gave her a special pen so clearly he must like her.
Vicki, you understand had surmised this scenario:
Burke-->Lookout Point (Bill's murder)-->Vicki-->?
Now she is able to do the math (or rather plot a more accurate flow chart) up to a certain point:
Burke --> Carolyn --> Roger--> Lookout Point (Bill's murder)--> Vicki --> ?
For those of you who are still with me, when last we left it, this was the really torrid history of The Pen:
Burke --> Carolyn --> Roger--> Lookout Point --> Vicki --> Roger --> Lookout Point
Confused? You won't be after this episode of Dark Shadows! (well, you will still be confused for at least a couple more weeks because it just gets more involved from here on out).
At the start of our next episode, Vicki realizes she would have been safer riding with Burke rather than Roger (and we aren't just talking blood alcohol levels). She tries to figure out another possible scenario that doesn't have Mr. Smarm as a cold-blooded killer, but that's hard to do with Carolyn blithely tapping nail after nail into Roger's coffin.
In a stunning feat of logic, Carolyn concludes that the fact that Burke gave her an expensive gift is proof of his regard, his attraction for her, and possibly his love. I'm guessing that Liz never taught her the lesson that there's no such thing as a free lunch and/or why you're not supposed to accept costly gifts from men outside of your family or husband. Of course, there's a part of men that's critical of anyone giving up their virtue for what really amounts to something that is an office supply item.
Vicki now backtracks and basically gives Carolyn her blessing to go out with the man. Carolyn, even in manic mode, is having trouble keeping up. So am I. Carolyn plans on saving her mother and uncle the anxiety of knowing who her dinner date is by keeping the date a secret. Unfortunately, Davy has been eavesdropping and is jealous. No way should his pesky cousin get to have dinner with Burke when he should be the lucky one. There's some shouting, but David decides to run off and tell Roger.
Meanwhile, Vicki exhausted by the two or so hours she's spent working in the 100 episodes that have elapsed, heads into town to do "errands." Yeah. Like her frumpy little clothes need to be dry cleaned or she's got groceries to pick up. This doesn't occur to Carolyn, but then perhaps she's thinking that the 5 & 10 was having a sale on hair bows or something.
Vicki's "errands" as might be expected involve a stop to Burke's hotel suite. She confesses all about the pen and her theory of its involvement in Bill's death. Well, not its involvement because it wasn't used as a weapon, but rather its importance as a piece of evidence. Burke would probably take her theory as gospel truth if she announced that a disembodied voice told it to her so he's sold. He then makes the connection about why Vicki was suddenly so interested in spending the night in Bangor. There's some mushy non-committal stuff between them, then reality rears its ugly head. Neither of them has the pen so they're both screwed. Burke hints that he could get James Blair's pen and use that, but Vicki doesn't pick up on that (and I doubt she'd go along with that plan either). She's also refusing to change the statement she made to the sheriff about Roger's alibi.
In true soap opera fashion, the next scene has Roger being set up to learn about the pen. David rats Carolyn and her evening plans out.
Anyhow, Burke and Vicki are debating how dangerous the situation is. She's convinced that Roger doesn't know and can't know about her new grasp on the fountain pen situation. They talk about their next move.
She really is the most annoying character sometimes. She's a drama queen who insists she isn't one. She wants it both ways and she doesn't want her part in the drama to be over. In a way, I can be sympathetic. I mean, girl grows up in a city orphanage very much not the center of attention. Now she's living the life of a gothic heroine--you can't get much more gothic than working as a governess to a troubled young child in the house on the proverbial hill with a bunch of sinister people.
Instead of plumping for letting George in on the situation, they plan on playing amateur detective to get more evidence. We end the scene with Vicki stating she's afraid of Roger and Burke promising that she's safe.
Oh, yeah, she's safe all right. Safely in danger now. Carolyn and Roger are in the middle of a full scale argument when once again she brings up her theory that the fact her family's enemy casually gave her an expensive silver filigreed fountain pen must mean that Burke likes her and has nothing against her or the family. Moreover, Vicki agrees with her too. Roger listens with great interest as Carolyn relates her entire conversation with Vicki about the pen and Roger's role in losing it, stressing innocently several times how she mentioned to Vicki that he lost it the night Bill Malloy died.
Safe as houses.
