Fashion notes first . . .
They bought a better suit for Roger, which I like. It's a dark wool, single breasted suit, and it fits him very nicely. I think they retired the Wal*Mart dress shirt, but he's still only wearing like a Target grade.
Eeek! I forgot all about Roger's Charles Nelson Reilly reading glasses. I must have blocked them out of my memory.
Burke has on a tweed blazer that's a trifle loud, but which he carries off.
I had to rewind three times, but Dear GOD, Roger is wearing white socks!!! Can you hear my heart breaking?
Sam has a sweater on and his chest is mercifully covered.
Would some please explain why Bill Malloy has a nicer, better cut, and clearly more expensive rain coat than Roger Collins?
Oops. Correction to the last column. Vicki's drop waisted dress is not a dress at all. She's wearing a sleeveless sweater and a skirt. Sorry about that.
Onto the show . . .
It's still Day 4. Yeah, I know, I'm tired of it too. I suppose I should be grateful to such careful attention to detail as opposed to later years when time zips around like a punctured helium balloon, but it's getting real old now.
Bill Malloy (yay!) places a phone call to Roger. Thankfully, there are no long scenes with non-existent telephone operators. He's supposedly not there. I should point out that this scene is at the Blue Whale, which has seen more traffic than the retail trade on the day after Thanksgiving. Burke comes in and Bill switches to coffee (probably a wise move by now). They have a very frank discussion. Bill lays it all out on the table. He knows about Blair and he knows about the scheme to ruin Liz. Burke denies it, but Bill ain't buying. He's a pretty shrewd guy, Bill Malloy. He knows just how Burke operates. Bill offers a deal: he clears Burke's name and gives him Roger, but Burke leaves Elizabeth, Carolyn, and David the hell alone. Burke briefly turns into a human being.
Ah, the horror that is corporate American office life. Roger's hard at work throwing darts. Clearly his corporate America and mine differ. I worked under fascist creeps who wanted everyone to bring in their own office supplies and who monitored bathroom breaks. He gets to play darts. I'm not bitter really. I now work in a field where intelligence is valued and inquiry is encouraged. Plus, they don't make me bring in my own pens. I also have health insurance. But I digress. Carolyn comes on in theoretically looking for Joe. I'm not sure what she's smoking. He seemed pretty pissed the other day. The girl can't stop blabbering about Burke. Admittedly, I'm no expert on men, but I'm guessing that the vast majority of them don't really care to hear the praises of their rivals extolled.
Maybe I'm being too hard on Roger. He gets a phone call and it appears that he does have ideas about the business. Oh, and someone named Hanley works in Marketing. I live for these things. I love continuity. Even the kind that's totally accidental. I wish I still had the energy for fanfic because I can see it now: Marketing Hanley is Evan's descendant and he is into witchcraft. He's got it in for . . . anyhow, Carolyn manages to shatter her uncle's good move by telling him about Bill. I should have called this column Speak of the Devil because every time Bill's name is invoked, he appears. I should add that Bill is absolutely furious. Carolyn senses that perhaps this is not the best environment for her just now and escapes. To say that Bill and Roger have a forceful disagreement is to put it mildly. Roger even starts throwing darts--Bill moves out of the line of fire just in time. There are oodles of threats and loaded remarks about the family, the trial, Bill's impending unemployment, Roger's spending time with the sheriff, and that lovable rascal, Sam Evans.
Back at the ranch, Carolyn's thumbing through a larger version of what comes to be known as the family album. Josette's last name was LaFreniere and she hooked up with Jeremiah in 1830, same year the house was built. Also Jeremiah is supposedly descended six generations from Collinsport's founder. Roger comes in. She mentions those two little words guaranteed to make him have a coronary.
Oh, this is rich. Carolyn claims that she believes that if she makes friends with Burke, he'll drop whatever this grudge is he has with the family. She's all girly and gushy and she shows Roger the pen. Yes, the silver filigreed fountain pen. Roger is appalled. I honestly get the feeling that he'd feel the same way if it had come from someone else. After all, this is the same era where Banker John can get away with telling a 50+ woman that she needs a man and apparently nice girls don't accept pricy gifts from men they are not related, affianced, or wedded to. I do think he should not have suggested that the pen was payment for services yet to be rendered. Not only is he dealing with Love's Young Dream, but also, who the hell prostitutes herself for a stationary item? He takes the pen back. She's not happy about it and storms off.
Before I continue, I want to make the chain of possession clear:
Burke → Carolyn → Roger
There will be a test on this later.
Bill calls Roger and is insistent they meet. Roger hangs up.
I gather they don't lock Roger's office after hours because that's where Bill is hanging out and making his phone calls. He wants to meet at the Blue Whale. Again.
Mood swings must be genetic in the Collins family because Carolyn comes back and makes up with Roger. He goes into charm mode and offers her the pen back, but she declines (he's made it feel all sordid and nasty). She then again wrecks the peace by revealing that not only did she lunch with Burke but that she followed him to Bangor. I like to think that this was a deliberate choice on a subconscious level, because my God, how stupid can you be? She then goes into the saga of James Blair and Banker John and Bill's reaction. Roger correctly deduces that Bill intends him to be "the sacrificial lamb" and vows that hell is basically going to have to freeze over first.
As much as I love any shot of Bob Rooney that I can get, there is a lot of back and forth to the bar in these episodes. Bill broaches his deal again. He insists that Liz's hands were clean. Burke tries to pull his usual line, but Bill shoots that down. Part of the reason that I like Bill so much is that a) he sees right through Burke and b) he refuses to play Burke's game. Bill sets up a meeting at Roger's office at 11PM and Burke finally agrees to attend.
Second episode is a take #2. I wonder who screwed up.
Roger's world is tumbling down around him. He's pacing in the drawing room. He grabs the cheap rain coat, gets the call from Burke about the meeting and promptly hangs up. Raincoat comes off (no wonder it's always so wrinkled) and he hits the drawing room to phone Bill. Oh, oh! First mention of Mrs. Johnson! She's Bill's housekeeper. Vicki wanders in looking for a drawing David did. She decides that this would be an opportune moment to show it to Roger and discuss David's artistic talent. Now I wasn't the smartest person at age twenty, but I assure you I had at least a rudimentary sense of timing, which Vicki apparently lacks completely. She believes that they need to nurture this talent and show David that "the world isn't completely hostile." Roger sarcastically inquires "what makes you think it isn't?" Heh. Hon, just go to bed. The pseudo-boss is in one nasty mood and this is not going to end well. He waxes bitterly about life and expectations. Why the hell she doesn't back out of the room, I do not know. He terms her "Pollyanna in a world of pain." Yeah, he's in fine form.
So I gather we're supposed to be impressed by David's drawing, which they term childish but promising, and I guess I would be, had we not seen this same exact drawing like a week ago when Sam produced it as his own. Vicki goes on with her plans to introduce David to a real artist. I'm sure you can all visualize Roger's reaction when he finds out who she has in mind.
Speaking of Sam, he's actually working when Bill pounds the door down. Apparently the invitation to meet at Roger's is mandatory. Lots of shouting from both sides and a bunch of dark threats on Sam's part.
For once Roger is not shouting at Vicki. He's doing his best to warn Vicki off Sam calmly, but she's insistent. Roger isn't lying really. Sam is a drunk. He can be violent. And I'm sure that there are better artists out there that David could meet. Roger is David's father, if he doesn't want his son to meet the man that should be that. He kicks her out to use the phone.
Bill barges in and nearly mows Vicki down. Is it wrong of me that I laughed? Bill is . . . shall we say . . .looking pretty apoplectic at this point. She chooses this moment to inquire about Sam's reputation and character. Yeah, it's around ten at night. The man practically flattens you when he opens the door; he's about to burst a blood vessel, and you think this would be a good time to ask about some guy who you'll be dining with later on. Before he can ask her what she's smoking Roger comes out and she gets completely ignored. There's a ton of shouting and they go into the drawing room leaving Vicki in the foyer. More shouting. It gets worse when Roger finds out that Sam is going to this confab at eleven. Roger actually pleads with Bill to drop this, but Bill is adamant.
It's ten o'clock (remember that). We learn it's a ten minute trip to the cannery and that Bill expects Roger to be there. Next shot of the clock we see and it's 10:20. Vicki's back in the drawing room. She wants to talk more about Sam. Uh huh. Okay, if she didn't clue in before, the shouting, the yelling--that should clue her in that now is not a good time. She's finally connected Sam on the cliff with Sam Evans. Dear lord, somehow underneath her fifteen pounds of hair, she's decided that Sam must know something about her origins. Roger is first mystified and then he starts laughing. When he calms down enough, he tells her flat out that Sam is a drunk. She's still convinced that Sam knows about her past and storms out in a huff. Whatever. Roger is chuckling. He has one for the road (because hey, what harm could drinking and driving possibly do) and heads out at 10:25.
Clock strikes eleven. Sam and Burke are hanging out uneasily in Roger's office (well, Sam is uneasy; Burke seems pretty cozy), when Roger appears. No Bill (sob). Credits roll.
So Vicki "Pollyanna in a world of pain" Winters isn't acquitting herself all too well. At least Carolyn has the excuse of raging hormones to explain her inappropriate behavior. I'm also totally missing what makes her think Sam would know who her parents are. Most of all, I'm at a loss as to her sense of timing. Rachel Drummond is starting to look smarter. This is not a good thing folks.
And then there's Bill. Maybe it's because by the time I started watching soaps, if you didn't have plastic hair and white teeth and perfect hair (and these days you can add botox and saline to the list) you didn't get cast, but I really like Bill Malloy. He's not your typical soap character. Hell, he's not your typical TV character. He seems real to me. He's an honest man. He's not all shiny and fake. He's just Bill. And I find myself feeling sad all over again.
