Yes, Joey, but then what would they do for a story line?
![[ghost_cheesy]](http://www.dsboards.com/SMF/Smileys/classic/ghost_cheesy.gif "Cheesy")
DS as bedroom farce!
Quentin vows to find out what exactly Laura is--"if it's the last thing I do." It may be, Dirk says as he walks into the cottage. Well, well, Quentin sneers to Laura, it's your lov-- or should I be discreet and say "personal bodyguard”? I think you've said enough, Dirk snarls as he moves to throw Quentin out bodily. I know the way, Quentin says significantly. Remember what I told you, he says to Laura, then leaves.
Dirk wants to--ahem!--see Laura tonight, but she tells him that he has to attend to his duties so he can stay at Collinwood. Seeing his disappointment, she puts her hands on his lapels and promises, I can see you tonight. Yes, he agrees. She gives him a chaste peck on the cheek.
[The top of the tall clock in the hall shows a full moon face. Earlier, it had shown a ship in the same position.] At 6:40 p.m., Charity (prayer book in hand as always) comes downstairs and meets Dirk in the foyer. I’m ready to take you into town, he says. She thanks him, and they prepare to leave.
At the Old House, Barnabas awakes, looking very handsome tonight. He goes to the drawing-room window, pulls the drapes aside and calls to Charity. Eyes closed, he commands her, Leave Collinwood and come to me--now. I need you!
Charity steps outside into the growing darkness. Dirk joins her. Noting a sudden wind, he comments, There must be a storm coming up. Oblivious, Charity touches her neck. We'd better get started, Dirk suggests. But hearing Barnabas's passionate command, Charity is rooted to the spot. Are you all right? he asks. I forgot a book, she lies. When he goes in to retrieve it for her, she slips away to the Old House. When he comes back out to tell her there was no book, Charity is gone.
Charity arrives outside the Old House and sees Barnabas at the window. He opens the door to let her in, but she doesn’t move. I mustn’t be here tonight, she tells him. He simply ignores her words and tells her to come in. Mesmerized by his gaze, she obeys but tells him, My father is waiting for me in town. I need you more than he does, Barnabas replies. I need your help. Please let me go, she pleads. I don't want to be here. I want to go into town. Barnabas simply draws near, fangs bared, and makes her forget that she ever wanted to go into town.
With Barnabas’s marks prominent on her throat, Charity gazes at Barnabas adoringly. What do you want to do now? he asks. Stay here with you, she replies, then asks, What do you want me to do? Do you believe in spirits? Barnabas asks. My father believes there are evil spirits that can influence people, Charity says. (Apparently it doesn’t occur to her--or the writers--that she can have an opinion of her very own.) Barn tells her about opening Laura's coffin and finding it empty. Laura is at large, Barnabas says, and I want to communicate with her. Sickened, Charity says, I don't understand. I have a plan, Barnabas explains, and if it works, it will solve the mystery of Laura and why she's at Collinwood. I need someone I can trust to be a witness for what I'm going to do. And what is that? she asks. I'll explain when I return, he replies. You will wait for me here. He escorts her to the settee, then leaves. Seeming to have no qualms about mixing the sacred and the utterly unholy, Charity opens her prayer book to while away the time.
Quentin and Beth have obviously had a rendezvous in Quentin’s rooms as Beth willingly pays Quentin’s price for keeping Jenny safe from him, and him from her. (Strangely, we never see Quentin’s actual bed, but in any case, both actors are on their feet and fully dressed.) Beth is desperately in love with Quentin and desperately guilty about betraying Quentin's wife. He promises to ask Judith to help him get the marriage annulled. They leave together, both happy. A moment later, Barnabas materializes in the room.
Surveying the empty foyer, Quentin jokingly complains to Beth, When you go out of your way to attract attention, there's no one around to look! It’s just as well, she replies, always the realist. She walks with him to the front door, kisses him again and closes the doors after him. For once she is smiling happily, a woman in love with the man she believes loves her. For once, the cost to herself of keeping Quentin and Jenny safe from one another is not in the forefront of her thoughts. Dirk emerges from the door under the stairs. Unfazed, Beth comments, Now you’ll probably deliver a stern lecture on morality. To her surprise, Dirk breezily replies, I don't see why. It's your life. If you want to throw it away, do it any way you choose. She stares after him as he leaves.
Barn is rummaging through Quentin's desk (he briefly examines the I Ching wands), then finds what he was looking for. Beth returns--to make the bed? She asks what Barn is doing there, and he gives her the "rare volume" line as he holds up a book. I planned to leave a note, of course. That’s not necessary, Beth answers with a sarcastic smile. When he returns, I will be _most_ happy to tell him you were looking for him. Barnabas smiles back at her blandly.
Quentin is furious when Beth tells him about Barnabas's "borrowing" of the book--especially when he finds out it was the Egyptian Book of the Dead.
Charity is scared, but Barn tells her she isn't in danger and to sit and watch him. As he talks, he extinguishes some well-used candles and a lamp so that the only light comes from a single red candle on a table. Standing before it, Barnabas lifts his hands. His face alight with purpose, his voice as always arresting, he reads from the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Amen Ra, he intones, Prince of Light and Radiance! I summon an eternal shade who worships thee.
At the cottage, Laura and Dirk (also fully dressed) probably also have just concluded an amorous rendezvous. Laura tells Dirk, Your presence has given me great strength [so that’s what she calls it!], but you must go now. I don't want to leave now, he protests. You need me, you need my protection [that’s what he calls it!]. I'll be all right, she assures him, but no sooner do the words leave her lips than she grows faint. Dirk holds her, watching with alarm as she weakens.
In a stirring voice, Barnabas continues his chant: I ask the corridors of time allow her to be free to rise, speak and walk again.
Let me go, Laura tells Dirk. He complies, but she is too weak to move. Get me the scarab, she gasps. Is Quentin doing this to you? Dirk asks, ready to go after his Hated Rival. As he rummages through a drawer, he doesn’t see that she is now in chromakey and slowly vanishing. You won’t be safe till Quentin is dead, he snarls. At last he finds the scarab, but when he turns around to show it to Laura, she disappears right before his very eyes. Laura! he calls.
Amen Ra, Barnabas calls, let the way be open for her! I feel something happening, Charity says, upset and scared. Laura, wearing an eighteenth-century gown, materializes before Barnabas. Why do you disturb me? she asks. Who are you? Barnabas asks. Laura Stockbridge Collins, she replies. Are you the same as the woman who lives here now? Barnabas asks. I am Laura Stockbridge Collins, she repeats. Why have you returned to Collinwood? he asks. The children shall be mine! the woman declares. This is too much for Charity, who screams, NO! and runs out the door. Why must you have the children? Barnabas asks. Quentin bursts into the room, then stops in his tracks when he sees the apparition--and recognizes Laura. Oh, my god, he breathes. At that moment the spirit screams and vanishes. Barnabas and Quentin stare at each other....
