Hey, gang,
Do you think that Sheriff George Patterson and the other members of the Collinsport Police Department ever got tired all of all those seemingly continuous and unending police emergency phone calls from the good folks who lived at Collinwood?
I mean, it seemed as if there was one crisis after another up there on the great house on the hill: [spoiler]Bill Malloy ends up floating on the water beneath the cliffs at Widow's Hill, Matthew Morgan is on the lam somewhere on the Collinwood estate after admitting that he knocked off Mr. Malloy, Vicky disappears while searching for David on the grounds near the Old House, Adam kidnaps (or abducts) Carolyn Stoddard from the drawing room of Collinwood, Donna Friedlander
and Bruno Hess each end up being eviscerated in the woods surrounding Collinwood, and David Collins goes missing on the grounds of Collinwood, literally, far
too many times to keep track of!
[/spoiler]
I wonder if when the phone rang at the Collinsport Police Department, Sheriff Patterson would almost instinctively say to his deputies: "Jesus Christ, guys, I'll bet it's another one of those 'emergency,' 'life-or-death' phone calls from those pain-in-the @ss Collinses!!!"?
Aside from ALL of the turmoil up at Collinwood, I'll bet that Sheriff Paterson's daily routine in Collinsport was about as "exciting" as Sheriff Andy Taylor's day was in folksy, homey, and unfailingly tranquil Mayberry, North Carolina.
I'll venture to say that the most "serious" emergency calls Sheriff Patterson would get (aside from the "usual" catastrophes at Collinwood) would be to break up a fight between Buzz Hackett and Joe Haskell at the Blue Whale or to wait in his patrol car, waiting for drivers, to exceed the posted speed limit on Collinsport Bay Drive on Saturday night . (By the way, I wonder where the Buzz-man actually lived in Collinsport? Maybe Buzz lived "simply" and "hippie-style" in a root cellar, like the one Adam took Carolyn to at the old, abandoned Taylor's farm?)
In any event, perhaps Sheriff Patterson was merely counting the days until his retirement, so that he could move down to sunny and beautiful Key West, Florida, just like Gregory Hines' and Billy Crystal's Chicago policemen characters planned to do in the film, "Running Scared"?