Idle Thoughts--The Ick Factor (Episodes 772-775)

Fashion notes first . . .

Someone on that show owned stock in a theatrical makeup concern because my God, Frid and Davis had enough gunk on their eyes and faces to choke a horse.

Rachel's dress (white blouse and green skirt with sash) was quite pretty. The Mary Pickford bow, however, has just got to go. Please, on small children and boxes of candy, bows are acceptable. Once the actress is playing anyone over the age of 12, they're not.

Roger Davis as a vampire with the racoon eyes. Scary? I think not. Looks closer to an Edward Gorey character than Frid does and that's saying a lot.

Eek, bad dress on Joan Bennett (green velvet thing, open collar and fur and lace trimming everywhere). It's like something a Mary Astor character might wear in a 30s comedy. Oy. We've all seen this type of outfit before: they use it in the scene where the heroine has been given this nightmare to wear and either she or someone more fashion-sensitive rips off all the crap and it suddenly is a beautiful gown. Not that I think you could make that work for this outfit. Unless maybe you could wear lose the tippet and somehow fix it so that the lines are more flattering. Plus, this so does not look like something a lady would wear to pay a social call.

Onto the show . . .

As much as I like Karlen as Willie, his characterization of Carl is really strong.

Barnabas, our intrepid time-tripping hero asked: "Would I lie, Carl?"

Somewhere through the mists of time, the unemployed columnist raises a cup of coffee in his general direction and shouts, "Hell, yes!"

I continue to marvel at Tim the Dim's little project (legitimate) for Mr. Hanley. Because if I understand the less shady side of the arrangment correctly, Tim was supposed to take a book written in Latin and translate it. Correct? Now my knowledge of the language is pretty much limited to ibid and a few phrases used in crossword puzzles, so unless you want me to translate "sub rosa" or "veni, vidi, vici" you're SOL, but I watch Timmy and I think to myself, hmm, maybe that would go a lot faster if, I dunno, YOU WROTE SOMETHING DOWN FROM TIME TO TIME. But hey, it's was probably too expensive for them to give the guy a fountain pen and a sheet of paper or something.

Meanwhile those wacky prop guys have given the luscious Mr. Briscoe a "poison" that looks something like a marmalade in a test tube. What? The water got turned off in the studio?

Wow, I can't even pot a pansy (the flower) without getting dirt on me and my clothes. Barnabas digs a whole big enough to fit Pansy (the person) by himself in the dead of night and still looks immaculate.

Charity is really well on her way to ruin here. First she walks into a man's bedroom and closes the door. Then she starts talking to Rachel about wearing beautiful dresses and jewels. Oh, yeah, she's going ot hell. Heh.

I'm not the biggest fan of Don Briscoe's acting. He's very yummy and all, but Olivier he's not. Wasn't too impressed for most of these episodes, but he had a couple of nice moments interacting with Clarice Blackburn when he told off Minerva.

Continuity Police? My understanding was that Grandmama said not word one about Carl in her will. But now suddenly he's guaranteed a home for life at Collinwood? Or did I miss the episode when she came back to life and rewrote her last will and testament?

Gotta love Mrs. Trask. "Fall in love with Carl." There you go. Very simple, dear. I loved the way she went for the cards, just like a drunk going for a bottle hidden in the bookcase.

Anyone want to tell me why Tim the Dim is so upset about Charity? Suddenly he's in love with her? Oh, please. They had about as much chemistry as oil and water.

Now as to Tim's other little project (distinctly sub rosa

) for Mr. Hanley, it really seems like a really inexact way to plot your wife's death. I mean, a lot of people play cards. What if he'd gone into town and there had been a Whist drive or something?

Miss Rachel (how many more episodes with this drip?) kind of plays favorites there, doesn't she? Charity called it and for once, I think the gold digger's onto something. She fails one kid for sewing (isn't that kind of like failing gym?) but when Jamison mouths off it's okay?

Wonders of wonders, Evan Hanley actually succeeds at something (well, until Tim knocks him out, but still given Evan's track record you have to make allowances).

Oh, now, there's a scary visual picture: Rachel being "questioned" by Evan and Gregory together . Ewww.

Dirk as a vampire. Aside from the fact that he got major neck (as Bob the Bobtender pointed out

) I got to say it just doesn't work for me. The whole vampire thing works well when you go for the creepy atmosphere--the victim is scarily submissive and there's that erotic charge thing going on. But here, what do we have? We have ick. Major ick. My God, do we have ick. Maybe it's the mustache. Maybe it's the folksy sounding voice, I'm not sure. That shot of him going for Tim's neck, well, it was like watching a giant crazed chipmunk.

Rachel, just tell him to call the police. Better still, instead of running after Tim, take yourself and your brain (that's that thing that rattles around beneath your hair) to the police and have a little conversation with them. But what am I saying? She'd screw that up too. Plus we'd have to hear her scream and cry some more. Â

Well, Judith didn't waste much time, did she? They haven't even buried Minerva and Judith skittles on over and gets all touchy feely--not that he hasn't been encouraging her. The evangelical business/appeal is really handled rather well and he's played her like a fish.

And it just gets ickier all the time. The whole bit as to biting Judith, that I get. Ick, but I get it. Dirk apparently swings both ways on the S&M issue. Bennett wasn't really very good in these scenes (can't say that I blame her) and Davis was going for the scene-chewing record of all time.

While the makeup people can't apply eyeliner to save their lives, that was a nice bit of work with the blood dripping down Bennett's neck.

Kind of interesting watching Edward mellow a bit toward his sister.

Good grief, am I being punished for something? Dirk and Rachel, more Dirk and Rachel and now in a scene together!

And what does Dirk want? He wants Laura. Why, I'm not quite sure. Not sure I care anyway. Frankly, I'm just grateful because it gets rid of Rachel (doing the happy dance of joy