i don't mist up often with the show but one scene comes to mind that i thought was rather sweet.
and barnabas rarely does anything without some sort of self-serving motive
How about when [spoiler]Barnabas wanted to help cure Chris from his werewolf curse? Barnabas had nothing to gain for himself by trying to help Chris, he understood all too well what it was liked to be cursed.
Or when Julia told him to leave her behind in 1970 and he flat out refused? You could say Barnabas didn't want to lose his watchdog but I say by this time Barnabas really truly cared for Julia that he wouldn't leave her behind for any reason whatsoever (not even when he knew she betrayed him to the sheriff).
Barnabas endulged into the I-Ching to contact Quentin in an effort to save David's life. (What a refreshing change from the old nasty vampire Barnabas who was eager to want to kill David even though he wasn't absolutely sure that the boy knew his secret). Professor Stokes warned him that he'd be placing his life in danger, but Barnabas was determined to do it anyway to save the boy.
When Adam kidnapped Vicki (yet again) and tried to kill her in the basement of the Old House Barnabas shot Adam at point blank, knowing Adam could die and he would revert back to being a vampire, but he didn't care because he wanted to save Vicki's life.
This one may be open to debate, but Barnabas staked Tom Jennings to save Julia. I know some of you will say he just wanted to make sure Julia was well enough to be able to conduct the experiment but again by this time, and I must agree it was one of the factors, but I do think by this time he had grown to care for Julia, that experiment or no experiment he would not allow another vampire to inflict Julia with the same dreadful fate he himself suffered with for 200 years.[/spoiler]
I am not saying Barnabas couldn't be a selfish SOB at times, indeed he could be, he has done a lot of things that I didn't like, but I do think that he could also be a lot more selfless than people give him credit for.