ShadowGram #159 / merged w/ ShadowGram's Obituary for Craig...What is up here?

 I just want to say this, Sunday I lost a friend. I layed in his bed with him on Saturday and spoke to him knowing somehow there would be a call from Joe the next morning. Yes, I know how brilliant he was, he was a great talent. He was also a great friend and pulled me out of more messes than I could count. He called me everyday when I had my hystrectomy and of course we know what he was going though. I still hear his voice in my head. I remember him telling me all about this great guy he meet named Joe. Craig touched so many people's lives by his work and I thank a Higher Power that his work will live forever. But you see my friend didn't last long enough to see 40. All these posts about Gay rights would mean the world to Craig I can hear him saying write people write! He was a boy when I first meet him. Hidding from the straight world of the mid-west  In NYC he became what he always was a proud gay man. Some of us here are putting thier hands on the keyboard and writing about Craig or gay rights. And Then shut off the machine and just forget it. How do I shut off my feelings of loss? how does Joe? or Craig's mother who lost a child as a mom myself I can't think of a greater pain.


I get into bed and talk to Craig. My child is 10 she may have memories of him there is video now. But he can't hold her.  You see people. to me Craig isn't a post he was my strenght when I was ill which I am right now. He made me laugh at myself, he made me brave, proud and grateful. I know somewhere near Joe is griefing for his partner also a pain I can't even think of. I am leaving him to that pain to work though for right now. For 4 years I held my breathe when Craig had to have yet another operation. If I called and heard Joe's voice I choked up for a monent.


There are people on this board who are morning a great loss that is to be respected. Without those people right now I would be out of control right now. So please remember Craig isn't just a post he was a proud gay man and I have to explain to my 10 year old what happened to him and where he is. So to people like Connie remember that when my phone rings it will never be Craig again. I cry, I laugh, I ask questions of God, but most of all I remember that boy that came off that plane 13 years ago and I smile. One day I will smile again when I think of the man he became here in my city, our city. My daughter will know who he was what he stood for 20 years from now. Connie, will you remember your post that long from now? Craig was about words, beautiful words of love and friendship. Love to my friends who have gotten me though this


Janet

John, did I mention that I love you! 

Beth we love you to, and a point has been made.  You are a calming influence and I agree to the prayer.

You know after 20 years do you really think the publication will change it's stripes? No matter what we yell about here at each other blinders will remain on some in FanDumb and will always remain.

Let's close this discussion with a prayer for peace and understanding AND heart felt sympathy to Joe, Craig's spouse.
And the hopes that the future will bring tolerance and understanding and celebration of our differences.

Special Message to my friends I love you all  Peter, John, Buzz and my Special Karlenfan  and MsCriseyde!

janet,

You are a remarkable and dynamic woman.  I am grateful for your passion and presence in my life.

Thank you for your inspired and courageous words below.

All I can say is WOW.  You captured so eloquently the roller coaster you are on.  We are here for you.

Love,
John

I just want to say this, Sunday I lost a friend. I layed in his bed with him on Saturday and spoke to him knowing somehow there would be a call from Joe the next morning. Yes, I know how brilliant he was, he was a great talent. He was also a great friend and pulled me out of more messes than I could count. He called me everyday when I had my hystrectomy and of course we know what he was going though. I still hear his voice in my head. I remember him telling me all about this great guy he meet named Joe. Craig touched so many people's lives by his work and I thank a Higher Power that his work will live forever. But you see my friend didn't last long enough to see 40. All these posts about Gay rights would mean the world to Craig I can hear him saying write people write! He was a boy when I first meet him. Hidding from the straight world of the mid-west  In NYC he became what he always was a proud gay man. Some of us here are putting thier hands on the keyboard and writing about Craig or gay rights. And Then shut off the machine and just forget it. How do I shut off my feelings of loss? how does Joe? or Craig's mother who lost a child as a mom myself I can't think of a greater pain.


I get into bed and talk to Craig. My child is 10 she may have memories of him there is video now. But he can't hold her.  You see people. to me Craig isn't a post he was my strenght when I was ill which I am right now. He made me laugh at myself, he made me brave, proud and grateful. I know somewhere near Joe is griefing for his partner also a pain I can't even think of. I am leaving him to that pain to work though for right now. For 4 years I held my breathe when Craig had to have yet another operation. If I called and heard Joe's voice I choked up for a monent.


There are people on this board who are morning a great loss that is to be respected. Without those people right now I would be out of control right now. So please remember Craig isn't just a post he was a proud gay man and I have to explain to my 10 year old what happened to him and where he is. So to people like Connie remember that when my phone rings it will never be Craig again. I cry, I laugh, I ask questions of God, but most of all I remember that boy that came off that plane 13 years ago and I smile. One day I will smile again when I think of the man he became here in my city, our city. My daughter will know who he was what he stood for 20 years from now. Connie, will you remember your post that long from now? Craig was about words, beautiful words of love and friendship. Love to my friends who have gotten me though this

Half of it was, the half that quoted the Times about what the actors died from that were in the play "Boys in The Band"

I haven't seen the post; if one of the other mods edited your comments, then they can provide the explanation.  But I can assure you that it was not removed because of a lack of sensitivity, or because it stated that Joel Crothers, Chris Bernau, or Keith Prentice died from complications of AIDS when this information has been published in Craig's "Barnabas & Company."

I think I know what *might* have happened. I edited reply #12 because I noticed that Phoebe had included a quote from Midnite's reply #6 - but had simply typed in the quote rather than using the forum's quote system to attribute the quote to Midnite's post. (I did something very similar on Tuesday with Phoebe's quote from Miranda's reply #43 in the "Craig Hamrick" topic on this board.)  Acccording to the Forum's Moderation Log, I did this at 04:42:07pm ET / 01:42:07pm PT. So, if Phoebe was somehow still adding the parts about the NY Times to reply #12 at the same as I was editing it, but she saved her version from her browser before I saved mine, my copy, which would have been without any references to the NY Times, would have replaced hers.

If, however, the references to the NY Times were not in reply #12 and were not being added around the time I cited, then I have absolutely no explanation as to how they disappeared. Midnite and I have been the only mods editing posts today, and as Midnite stated, there wouldn't have been any reason for either of us to have removed anything like that from a post. As both of us have stated numerous times through the years, any info, regardless of its nature, that can be attributed to a reputable source (which the NY Times would be) would not be considered "the spreading of gossip or innuendo, or the defaming of the DS actors' private lives" and would not be removed from the forum as per Guideline #7.

All that being said, however, once our host provides us with a copy of today's access_log, I can check to see if anything strange went on this afternoon/early evening that we're not aware of because the access_log details every last little thing that happens on the forum at the exact second it takes place. 

"My reaction to grief is a certain kind of nervous action," she wrote in her diaries shortly after the assassination of John Kennedy. "I just keep moving, walking, pulling away at things, praying to myself while I move, and making up my mind that it is not going to get me. I am not going to be licked by tragedy, as life is a challenge and we must carry on and work for the living as well as mourn for the dead."

The above is What Rose Kennedy said in her diary that was recently released about the passing of her son John Kennedy.  I thought it was an interesting commentary about dealing with grief.  I am indeed praying to myself as I move every day as I mourn for Craig.  I do think Mrs. Kennedy had a lot more gumption than I have.

It was also quoted by Craig on his Dark Shadows Online website.  As we all know he was a thorough researcher and wouldn't have published anything with fact or documentation.

The link to Craig's Joel bio is at:

http://www.darkshadowsonline.com/where-crothers.html

Craig wrote:

Joel's final soap role was on Santa Barbara in 1985. He died of complications for AIDS on November 6, 1985.

I know for a fact from Craig the source material for this quote was the NY Times article Janet references.  As well as verification he had from personal sources who knew Joel.

I can assure you that it was not removed because of a lack of sensitivity, or because it stated that Joel Crothers, Chris Bernau, or Keith Prentice died from complications of AIDS when this information has been published in Craig's "Barnabas & Company."

  As I am here for you both. Last night I was able to express my grief totally. I never learned how to express emotion as a child. At your brilliant show you and Peter allowed me to be me. That is a gift I will never forget. And you saying what I wrote was good means so much since you are both so talented in the area.

It also struck me as unfair to make negative assumptions about someone because they didn't put any survived-by info in a newsletter.  That's why I didn't think it appropriate to make inferences in a public manner.  No one knows what is in her heart or why or why not Craig's partner was not mentioned.

All I have to say to the above comment is that it doesn't matter what is "in her heart". What difference does that make? Is it not the objective of any news reporter to remain unbiased in the news they present to the public? And even though this is a fan magazine, it is still a form of new media, am I wrong? Thusly, the producers of said news media should remain unbiased. If they hate gays, wonderful! That's them. That's not everyone else. And truth be told, it's not like we need someone else pushing their views on us, whether consciously or subconsciously or unconsciously. (Please do not confuse the former statement with providing opinions. Everything said here is an opinion. This is not pushing views on other people. Just thought I'd clear that up so that holes could not be made of my argument).

Furthermore, I do think that people should speak out about this injustice, misprint, on-purpose misprint, or oversight, or whatever you want to call it. If no one spoke out about things like these throughout history--why, women still may not be able to vote, blacks might still be working the white mans field, and stupid laws might still be in place. Speaking out or speaking up in front of something that is incorrect or wrong is what our country is about. Simple as that. And anyone who doesn't like those who freely open their mouth (sometimes inserting foot as I often do, but not at this point in time) can simply not read what is written or turn their iPod on.

I didn't know Craig, but knowing quite a few gay people myself, I know that it is a community that is totally for one another and who will stand up for their rights. And who shouldn't? Women did, black people did. Why not gays? It may take time but I believe acceptance will happen.

I'll admit--I did not know Craig personally, aside from meeting and speaking with him for a few minutes at the fest. I believe those who say that Craig would support this. As for me, I'm up for any good argument. But this is not what this is, in my opinion. No, this is something that everyone should pay attention to. This is something that's happening nationwide, not just within our own fandom. And I think that it speaks volumes that certian people can't even correctly print what someone died of. So what if they died of AIDS, or AIDS complications, or what-have-you. The fact is that they DIED, and lying about what they died from not only is a disservice to getting word out about this deadly disease, but it also desecrates the memory of the person. They may have fought courageously against this dease, and omitting the fact that they died from it undercuts all the effort they put in to circumventing the outcome.

As was mentioned by many, ShadowGram is a public magazine (or whatever you call it), and as such, it's duty as a form of news media is to report the facts correctly, whether or not agreed with by the ACTUAL PUBLIC. For who are we but a bunch of people with opinions anyway? If you don't like what you read, hear, see, or think (hopefully not the latter) then you must be living in the wrong area of the world.

 Your right John, Craig knew what actor I had the hot's for (Don Briscoe) and that I had every line from "Boys in The Band" memorized. And I also watch to much TV and I know who the first couple was to sleep in a double bed . This was a long time joke between us.  The night of the acadmeny awards my favorite actor showed up with his mother! my phone rang in a second I heard this long hard laugh saying sorry sister he is one of my own. Well, Craig that is to be seen. I can laugh forever one day just on my memories.

Janet/Gracie

So, Janet the answer to your trivia question. Is it Bert and Ernie?

Hey Darren, Craug and I had a running joke about who was the first married couple to sleep in the same bed? does anyone want to take a guess before I write it here?

There is an absolutely hysterical scene in I Love Lucy in which, not Lucy and Ricky are in bed together, but Fred and Ethel.  It is in an episode during which all four are driving across America to Los Angeles and get stuck overnight in a seedy motel.  There are only two bed:  a bunk bed which Lucy and Ricky take, one in the upper, the other in the lower, and a large single bed for Fred and Ethel.  The mattress is so worn and out of shape that it collapses in the middle and both would be smashed together in the bottom of the V.  So Ethel goes through a long, complicated, laborious trial of twisting, tying and stuffing sheets around Fred to secure him to one side and then she crawls in on the other, Lucy and Ricky watching mesmerized.  When Ethel sees their expressions, she nonchalantly shrugs and says:  "Our bed is the same way back home."

Gerard

So, Janet the answer to your trivia question. Is it Bert and Ernie?

I think it's a hard question to answer.  I remember reading that there was a TV comedy back in the very early fifties which showed a married couple in the same bed.  Some TV historians say the first "permanent" married TV sitcom couple shown sharing the same bed (I believe in the second season; before that they had twin beds, but if Pebbles was to come along, they needed more appropriate sleeping arrangements) and Fred and Wilma Flintstone.  Even though The Flintstones was a prime-time series for quite a few years, it was animated, so some argue it doesn't count.  Others say it was Samantha and Darren in Bewitched.

Gerard

I just want to say this, Sunday I lost a friend. I layed in his bed with him on Saturday and spoke to him knowing somehow there would be a call from Joe the next morning. Yes, I know how brilliant he was, he was a great talent. He was also a great friend and pulled me out of more messes than I could count. He called me everyday when I had my hystrectomy and of course we know what he was going though. I still hear his voice in my head. I remember him telling me all about this great guy he meet named Joe. Craig touched so many people's lives by his work and I thank a Higher Power that his work will live forever. But you see my friend didn't last long enough to see 40. All these posts about Gay rights would mean the world to Craig I can hear him saying write people write! He was a boy when I first meet him. Hidding from the straight world of the mid-west  In NYC he became what he always was a proud gay man. Some of us here are putting thier hands on the keyboard and writing about Craig or gay rights. And Then shut off the machine and just forget it. How do I shut off my feelings of loss? how does Joe? or Craig's mother who lost a child as a mom myself I can't think of a greater pain.


I get into bed and talk to Craig. My child is 10 she may have memories of him there is video now. But he can't hold her.  You see people. to me Craig isn't a post he was my strenght when I was ill which I am right now. He made me laugh at myself, he made me brave, proud and grateful. I know somewhere near Joe is griefing for his partner also a pain I can't even think of. I am leaving him to that pain to work though for right now. For 4 years I held my breathe when Craig had to have yet another operation. If I called and heard Joe's voice I choked up for a monent.


There are people on this board who are morning a great loss that is to be respected. Without those people right now I would be out of control right now. So please remember Craig isn't just a post he was a proud gay man and I have to explain to my 10 year old what happened to him and where he is. So to people like Connie remember that when my phone rings it will never be Craig again. I cry, I laugh, I ask questions of God, but most of all I remember that boy that came off that plane 13 years ago and I smile. One day I will smile again when I think of the man he became here in my city, our city. My daughter will know who he was what he stood for 20 years from now. Connie, will you remember your post that long from now? Craig was about words, beautiful words of love and friendship. Love to my friends who have gotten me though this

Janet,

i can't put into words how much my heart is with you..... and John and Peter and BuzzH and all the people that Craigs presence made a difference to.  He certainly touched my life, taught me to laugh more at myself, and was such a generous spirit to me.  Years ago he made me a shadowbox with everything that was important to me....Janet, DS, himself, just my whole world in one little box....I wish I could have taken that box and froze in time so that he would still be here.  Here to watch your daughter grow, Janet.  Here to make me smile.  We even had a song.... and when I get there my friend, we will do that stupid "tainted Love" dance...I promise....

Anna

So, Janet the answer to your trivia question. Is it Bert and Ernie?

Ah...TV's FIRST gay couple!    Even at 6 I knew this!