I have also always thought that an insecure man looks to someone who is very innocent as he feels he won't "measure up" to comparisons with other men.
Plus, it's easier for a man to deal with someone who's young and uncomplicated. He doesn't have to think much or "prove" himself with a young adoring woman who looks up to him (for no apparent reason). LOL
Barnabas is immature and defensive. He doesn't like being questioned or challenged. His ego is easily deflated. He hates it when Julia questions or disagrees. He becomes angry.
And of course, like everyone said -- he's a product of the 1700's -- not only in his taste in women, but also their station in life. He's extremely class-conscious and stuck-up.
NOW...let's take a look at Quentin, shall we?? LOL
Here's a man who doesn't discriminate. Just about any woman is fine with him - regardless of age, national origin, class, etc. Let's see, we've got Laura - an older experienced woman with children (and his brother's wife to boot), then we've got Jenny - some sort of saloon singer presumably (and a gypsy to boot), then there's Beth - a lower class servant, who slaps him, calls him contemptible, and tells him to go to hell alot of the time. (He loves it, loves a challenge)
Oh yeah, and later on there's Amanda - not even real - created from a painting. Thats OKAY too! ("Fine by me," says Q.) LOL
Of course he ISN'T attracted to his sister. (You've got to draw the line SOMEwhere).
Yep - when it comes to women, Quentin's a true Democrat.
Hmm...I feel like I'm leaving someone out - can't think of who. Oh well, Quentin probably can't remember them all either. ROFL
-CLC
P.S. I do think though, that as time goes on, Barnabas does finally start to grow up a little. Hey - everyone matures at their own rate (even if it DOES take a couple hundred years).