I picked this one up on Ebay some time ago, and I decided to read it this weekend.
You know, those Ross novels were never meant to be sophisticated literature and all, but I gotta tell you, I think I may have discovered the single worst book ever written. Even worse than Kathy Ptacek's
Gila, which, frankly, I never expected to see displaced as the mostest awfulest book that ever was.
Quentin masquerades as world-famous rock star Jim James, but no one has ever seen his face. One of Roger's friends discovers a planet called Velva, which is populated by Velvetians. Velvetians kidnap Roger and friend and install themselves at Collinwood. (Elizabeth deduces this as early as page 21, when she confides to Barnabas: "I've been obsessed with the idea that some sort of plane landed in the fields near here...and someone who was on it entered this house and took Roger captive. Then this mysterious someone had Roger sent away on that plane while he installed himself here in his place!") Elizabeth confides the same to Julia, who -- instead of wondering if Elizabeth is in her cups -- quickly determines that Roger has gone insane (with an exclamation point). Barnabas and Quentin, though, being special and all, figure out the aliens plan and turn the tables on them.
Good God. Good God....
Yes. This is the
Plan Nine From Outer Space of all pulp novels. I'm certain of it.