...because his moustache had already told him if he grew a beard, it was going to rip itself off, and take his lip along with it.

Well, I didn't care for it and don't plan to watch it again.  I came off like a Twilight re-make to me, and even the lead actor reminded me of the guy in Twilight.  (Something in the brow & eyes.)  Maybe if I'd loved Twilight, it would be different.

Aside from that, they obviously were building more backstory and plot lines so they'll have something to work on in future eps, which I thought was a good thing.  But none of the characters drew me in at all, though the evil brother was the most interesting.  I'm afraid it was a bit of a snooze for me personally.  Maybe I'm just missing shows with more mature actors!  (Seeing as I'm old enough that I watched DS when I was a kid.)   

...In my experience, they don't stay dead.  They come back with a different name, but they look and sound the same.

Setup:
Barnabas recoiled in horror when the little Saturn tried to ______.

Setup:
Aristede: "Let's see how much I can stuff into your mouth.  After this, I'm going to try ______."

Setup:
Is that what I think it is?  How could ______ get all the way out here in the woods?

...chastity belts were coming back in style.

Setup:
Amanda: "Does this angle make my butt look big?"
Petofi: "________"